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Karmickiss

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    138
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Karmickiss last won the day on September 21 2009

Karmickiss had the most liked content!

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About Karmickiss

  • Rank
    A New Era
  • Birthday 05/28/1974

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Single female
  • Location
    MA, US
  • Interests
    writing, reading, horses if had the chance, outdoor things too, there are more
  • Occupation
    mason tender on and off for years, counselor for young women, returning student
  • Swinging Experience
    on and off for ten years

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    karmickiss
  • Favorite Club(s)
    clubsinz
  1. Hi Jason, It's nice to hear you thinking out all the options. I just wanted to say...with the bi-thing...I was ONLY talking about that as an example to a certain concept... I'm so sorry that was misunderstood, I'd never go there, and the idea of her being bi sexual or anything like that wasn't even in my thinking. I use things as examples... more like, what I was feeling and why, and relating to to possible feelings of pressure.I just don't want the Mrs. to think I'm pushing that in ANY way...totally respect sexual identification. I just had to say this, in case it came off like that. I am not ever wanting to "recruit" anyone to my own tendencies. It's good to know more info, and been trying to keep up on so many different things lately.....my mind is a bit rusty...lol..I think sometimes what I'm saying and the way I do it can be a little misleading...I can be abstract, and go on tangents...for me the bottom line was just...maybe taking anything that feels like a discomfort out in some way. I genuinely am hoping for the very best for both of you with this!.....Good luck, and keep writing, Sincerely, karmic
  2. Hi Guys, I have been following this thread(s) for a while..I think I may have posted at one point, that's not important, but I think I want to go through the whole thread again..forgive me if repetitive..please bear with me, lot's going on all over the place in my life lately...good though... What kept coming to mind was somehow this feels familiar. I am bi-sexual. I think I always kind of knew it, but I was in denial for several reasons. One of the things I really worried about with the whole attraction to women, was the idea of actually "going down" on a woman. I felt like I didn't know what to do or expect, and I could not enjoy and relax around women when I was first really exploring..b/c there was that pressure I put on myself.. I kept thinking of 'do or die' time...I couldn't relax and almost gave up on it. Well...all the things around that subject were wasted worries. I was putting too much pressure on myself, so much so that I made every excuse...and maybe I would not have enjoyed it ( but I did, oh did I;) )..but either way when I finally took the pressure off myself(story in itself) things unfolded with such ease I was amazed. Now it feels totally silly, but they were my feelings, so that made my fears real, valid...and I can be more gentle with msyelf as a result of that. It seemed like the dancing might have brought on the fears of the actual physically performing, or getting into a situation that you might not feel ready for. It sounds like a gorgeous place, by the way. Please forgive me if this has already been suggested.....Here goes...Do you think it might help to make up your minds to attend some of these things, but decide from the get go to NOT play...just for now, no matter what. To just get used to the atmosphere, and enjoy the people, without having the looming thought of 'what if'(what if this happens, or that, or we want to stop, or the other one doesn't, or ...etc)..and the judging self internally maybe. Maybe it starts just feeling like it's all a polite small talk/actions to get to sex(yeah, but I mean unfavorably feeling like that)..being new, not knowing how you'll feel when actually doing it, could be really intense. What about strictly only meeting some people, and be upfront about being new so are there to just watch, or get a feel for it all. You might even want to meet with one couple or person first, maybe not even there, but privately? It doesn't really matter, that's part of the fun for you both to think about..but it might even be fun....like teasing each other...and deciding that the only sex that happens is between you both, when you get home? I do have a method to this madness...I know from experience it can be fun to hold back..sometimes. You can enjoy each other...role playing's always a thought:D Also..being new..it's might feel more scarey...about no means no...we all hear and know that...but maybe if you take your time...and decide to not make any moves with others until you both feel you really wanted to.Maybe it would help to practice saying no, in a nice way, just about not playing period on that night, and see the reactions of that, b/c hopefully, anyone in the LS long enough, can accept that graciously...to know how easy it is to do it(say no so that when/if the time comes for play, it wont feel foreign to state your boundaries if/when needed)...and to see who you really feel pulled to. I think any sincere people will respect your process. It might help to be able to say we are just "here for the viewing"..and/or meeting people you can click with and then maybe go check out the rooms. Lots like to be watched or to watch. So maybe knowing that nothing's going to happen sexually might bring in the spark, the fun or being there and being able to take it all in without any pressure to perform...,,,instead of having to fear. Of course I had to write a book, and if it's an extremely repetitve one, I'm so sorry. I jut wanted to offer my thoughts while I was here...and say I really wish you both the best.....I hope to continue reading about this.....Sincerely, karmic
  3. Hi All,...ooo, good one. Being bisexual myself, I have endless comments about it all... But I thought of something when I was reading this thread. My late partner, was quite an bit older than me, actually his first born was my age! My partner, was a beautiful man, inside and out....and very much the "alpha male" some ways. He looked and fit the part, outwardly at least. Something about his generation...his son I mentioned is bi-sexual. It took a while for Sandy to get used to the idea that his son is bi-sexual , and he blamed it on how he grew up. He was able to go beyond tolerance. He felt ashamed that he wasn't more supportive years ago, when his son first came out to him. He did make amends the best he could. I have always been very open about my sexuality. I loved talking about sex...he loved talking during, maybe but afterwards, it took a while. Once we did start two way conversing, he started an exploration process...that I feel honored to have been a part of, with him. It started off slowly, and completely by his idea and pace, but I started using my fingers,while giving oral, or while he self stimulated. We tried all kinds of things, gently, and he got more and more enthusiastic. We took a trip to the local adult store and purchased some toys. He was joking with the clerk, and so happy, I loved this period of time we had together. He said that by stimulating the prostate, the orgasms and pleasure overall was so magnified for him. When I was in school, I took every human sexuality course I could find...lol...along with intuition and fun loving exploration, I like to use my hands with either gender. Back to what I started. I recall one sunny afternoon we were driving down a major highway, after a wonderful weekend alone with each other in southern Maine. We both love the ocean so..and the area...and had a excellent trip inside the hotel room, too . He was smiling and we were chitchatting, and he said to me, "I can't even begin to tell you how free I have been feeling, since we started to explore more, 'you know'" I said I was glad to hear it, and he told me, "(karmic), I thought all my life when I reached this age life would be over. But really, it's only now, at the age of 50, that I feel like a truly free man, and totally myself. I didn't even know who I was before". I will always remember that, it felt so good.The rest of our years together, this kind of play continued on and off. And that whole thing was brought on from the exploring things for him he'd never have felt able to explore. I recall at this time, I started bringing him with me to a few gay clubs...he was truly beautiful to look at, and everywhere we went he was a bigtime lure for gay men of all ages, as well as women. He absolutely loved and really started flirting happily back with the more charming men, with me right there and getting a thrill out of it, actually. He never did anything with a man...but said that had he started exploring earlier in his life, he probably would have gone there. I don't know how to answer for anyone else, if they are "bi" or not. I think just going with the flow of what feels natural, and celebrating yourself, no matter what you end up deciding to identify as, is a good idea. You are the only none who can have the last say... Thanks for sharing.
  4. Hi All, Had to write a little something, as a situation I remembered started me laughing. I used to be pretty quiet....my late partner got a surprising vocal gal over time....it just came naturally. So, I was with this younger male, a fling at one time, but we are still friends to this day. He's a sweetheart, and was a virgin when we got together, which turned out to be an odd turn on...only b/c he was my first and only "virgin" male. Anyway, I was trying to coax more talking, and thought to lead by example. He was giving me oral, and I was remarking and moaning loudly. I was really getting into it, and was experimenting with this at the time(more talking) Something happened so out of the blue.....one and a million chance...one, I didn't lock the door to the house, while 'busy'. Two, my mom had brought my kids back earlier than expected...way earlier. She would normally never come in unless I answer the door, but she needed to use the rest room, which is right by my bedroom:blush: I was blissfully unaware until we heard the car horn she was beeping....and went to see what the commotion was all about..we were taking a break. I waved and the kids were let out. My oldest is the one that told me she came in to use the bathroom, and came out flustered and started beeping......Hope that was okay to share....so embarassed, of all people.....karmic
  5. Hi All, Great thread! I will continue to follow it with interest. I have a short time, so would at least like to say, as a 35 yeart old bi-female....yes...we can be in a monogamous relationship indefinately, the same as anyone else. Or at least it's been that way for me. Often it's easy to think bi-sexual means having to have both. For me it just means I can be atrtacted to the person underneath the skin, wheteher it's man or woman, both have their own delights for me. Love, however, rules out overall. If I love someone, and am in a strong relationship I dont feel like anything's missing. I feel I have some similarities with your wife, the age, sexual identification, and two kids. I did have a long term partner I was with for a decade before he passed on a bit over 3 years ago. I dont have too much advice...just wanted to pop in and say hello..and that I'm glad you're here, I have lots of faith you'll get what you need and then some from this group of people... I would also love to hear from the Mrs. if she ever felt so inclined to post here. I'm sorry, I dont recall if she has been to this board yet or not. At least would offer that if she were to have an interest in sharing, by PM or to the group...that I'd love to hear from her. Good luck with everything! Sincerely, karmic
  6. Hi All, I have a raging fever at the moment, but saw this thread, couldn't help it...bear with me please. I think I've stated my concerns and feelings about the women that are "truly bi"..or are just passively so, or stating it as a added lure...but wont go there. I just wanted to add, that I've always been "close" all my life, with one or two women...and looking back, lot's of those realtionships had an added element I was too far into denial to see...I had crushes and even cared deeply for some. One thing I've heard countless women tell me, if they say they are bi-curious...sticks out in my mind, and I felt the same way. I am openly bi...have had several girlfiends, so I have been approached by local women, that just wanted to "talk" to a person that can keep thier anonymity. I'm real good like that, I like the reputation that secrets are safe with me.. So, that thing I was talking about...and soooo often I've heard the same thing...especially if one is having a drink to loosen inhibitions about even talking about it...but not always the case. I found there's a big fear there..that might go along with the curiosity...and sometimes that fear might be deep enough to make certain women never even consider that side of themselves..if they have one. I knew I was attracted to women, at the end of my short marriage I was sure of it(Miss Sunshine, the marriage ended due to other reasons, but I did leave and ended up with the same woman for a considerable amount of time)...but I had the same fear that I've since heard literally countless times from others. There is this feeling that another woman is supposed to really knows how to turn on another woman, just b/c they are both female. I can agree to a degree...but also know, really, we are all individual, and all the woman I have slept with, might have some similairities...but none of them, have been the same. I've been happy to find that in general, women might be more open about helping to direct me...having great communication...generally, not all, of course. OK..the fear for me and several others might sound really silly, but it was very real for me. Since I had sex with men only up to a point, and not having any experience with women yet....I was nervous about the one act of "going down" or "eating out" a woman. I was nervous that of course, it would be expected...and didn't know if I could handle it...and didn't know if I could please her....all I knew were my prior experiences...and being a woman...I know that it is often not so cut and dry as to what will be the "turn ons". I was afraid if I started to do it..and then couldn't continue, of disappointing and "feeling stupid"...b/c there is that great expectation, that women just will naturally know all about pleasing another woman, no matter what, like a mind reader. I just knew I had feelings for other women...but was a little intimdated, instead of taking it one step at a time. I've heard so many women say to me..."I'd like to experiment on another woman, but I just cannot picture or get over the idea of eating her out..." Now I can say there is no pressure, go as far or not as you feel good about. Also I share with them that in my case...I worrried and worried about giving good oral sex or being able to "do it right"...etc...and you know what? It was the MOST natural thing in the world when it happened. I absolutely love love love to eat a woman out as long as she can stand it, or will let me...no joke! I also like to give to men...very much. OK..this whole post maybe incoherant..and I need to get back in some hot water...hurts to breath...but great thread. Too bad about the doctor...or whatever that was all about...geez...I know the type...it's called projection, I think... But no bad wishes towards anyone!! I just felt bad for those that were "attacked" in actuality. This is a great place...and part of what makes it great is the variety, and ability to be honest with each other.....Warm wishes to all......Sincerely, karmic
  7. Hi All, I've enjoyed this thread. I really liked what slevin said....I feel like he was right on target. I can't speak for anyone else, of course, but I know that if I had said something like that....that I'd be looking for the emotional validation as well, if I approacehd it like that. I hope this doesn't come across as sexist, either, but I do feel there's that fundamental difference, (of course, always exceptions to the rules, I'm sure) with the female vs male minds. Very often, it seems, and I can say as I female, I do this a lot....I want to share feelings. I want to just talk, and feel like I'm heard. If I was asking directly for an opinion or answer, I'd be direct about it...but so often, it seems there's a misfire of communication in these situations. The "man" usually wants to offer the "solution"..and reply with logical answers...and then be baffled about the possible response(s) from the woman, who, at least for me, I'd be trying to 'just talk' about something. Many times, if I'm sharing feelings or making open eneded comments, I'm looking for shared feelings...not so much an answer..but to see if he is in tune with what I'm saying/implying. In this case, if I said that, I'd be looking for some reassurance and shared feelings, and I just think slevin had great insight,... and if I was dealt with in that fashion, I would feel validated, and closer. Also maybe allowing myself to actually feel like it's safe to get excited about it, b/c of the feeling that part of the thrill is getting closer as a couple. In any event, I am truly hoping for the best outcome for both of you! It seems you have a nice sense of humor, and thank you for sharing with us. It shows a certain something to be able to come here, make yourself open to hearing others, and then apply things when and if it fits. I'm hoping to hear more as it goes...and again...best of luck to you both... Sincerely, karmic
  8. Hi All, I could have sworn I answered to this...but maybe not...if I did and it was moved...sorry about that! Honestly, I had no idea I was "rarity"...really..but then, I too, ended up in many of my experiences, just "running into" playmates when not "looking"..so maybe I just don't have the resources to say? I know that now, as a single bi female...I keep getting feedback from local couples that say, yes, you are rare....lol..and maybe the site I go to, just has lot's of responding people in general. It's funny b/c I only recently feel like I ran across the term. It felt like I found many open minded females through gay community/clubs..but hesitate to say so, it's my own subjective experience, I suppose....I'm learning still, all the time. I will say there's a certain thrill being single and in the lifestyle, no better or worse when with a partner...but just "different":D There seems to be pros and cons to each situation...b/c of course, I don't right now have that partner to compare notes with..and "hunting" together, bringing us closer..etc...and at the same time..it's a really liberating feeling too, going solo. I'm just happy to "be" lately.....Best Wishes for all, Karmic
  9. ooooo...Good one... I love this question, I've thought about it a lot. It's one of those, when I began reading the responses, there was so much in my mind at once, I had to just go to the original post, here, and reply from the heart. Then go back to read the rest. Everyone has such good points and ideas, that I could go in indefinitely, so will try and simplify.. For me, yes, it is in my nature. I like what Rackir said about deeply and truly loving, and the work and often pain to get to that level, might be a very good reason to limit this to one(or one at a time), or not limit. Those are my words, though, so if I missed the mark I take responsibility. I have had this thought(since I was really young), that why, if there were the "right" (minded) people, and the proper care and love in place for all, then why wouldn't it work, that we can love more than one. I felt like love could overcome jealousy, and that love if present, doesn't ever truly "leave anyone out". I immediately faced resistance to this, and resistance to freely loving even in one primary relationship, according to my first model. I do tend to think fear of intimacy in general can add fuel to the fire. It was also in my nature to be bi-sexual, and there's a lot of resistance to that idea too...including in straight and gay populations. Like, straight people could say, I have some insatiable sex drive, and/or I'm not being true to myself. And in gay communities the other extreme is to see me as not fully committed, all the way and maybe less capable of love, or that I can't embrace the fact I'm really homosexual. There are so many variations to this, and additions on both sides that I'm truly simplifying. I have heard the observation that I must be over-sexed, and the reason I want to swing, and by being bi...is b/c I cannot get enough sex, that I am unable of really "loving" one person. I grew up hearing this. But the act of sex of course can occur with or without love. However, I have said it here before, I was very much, deeply and madly in love with my late partner. I experienced this kind of love one other time. It was worth every tear, and every moment. He could not swing, and out of my love for him there was no resentment from me...I was fully satisfied, but being satisfied fully did not mean that I wouldn't have "gone there" with him, if he had been able. It did not threaten my love...and it was amazing, b/c I consider it is my nature to be able to love more than one, but b/c my love didn't share this, it was not seen as sacrifice by me to be with just him. I did not get bored, I did not feel cheated. The things that came out of that relationship has helped define who I am today. It's love itself that dictates me, I'm volunteering for this:D I have always just gone with the natural flow of things around me. I think the purpose for my life probably has many factors, and I follow my heart. In the ideal world for me, there'd be no raised eye-brows. I believe in these karmic processes, that I define my reality and if I am only but open, to what my hearts telling me at the moment, there's no internal conflict. I know that over my life I've fit inside of many labeled categories, but for me, it's more like, "Oooh, that was interesting"...and rather than not making any commitments, I commit to love in general, and feel so blessed to have experienced what I have. Ok. more than enough from me. I fear I wont do this the justice it deserves, b/c the subject to me is so wide...so personal, again... and thankfully, my nature I feel is one of love...and I feel like I'm constantly being surprised and awed by it's power, and just appreciate beauty in all it's forms and love in motion is wondrous to watch and be a part of.
  10. Hi All, I hesitated getting into this b/c I could literally write a book about this. I think ,too, it's a very personal thing. I was brought up Lutheran, and have nothing against any religion. I think there's something for everyone, and that there are many paths to the One. I do believe in God, and have basic Christian belief, but not so much in the politics of the churches. I think it's sad there's been so much bloodshed in the name of a loving God, and the contradictions bother me..."Love Your Neighbor as Yourself" yet if your neighbor doesn't believe exactly the same things, they are not "damned" in my eyes. Also I have some trouble with scripture, and time..and the church was state at one time...and there were things taken out and put in according to the needs of the times. So I feel like there's still great things to find there, I am talking mostly here about Christian scripture, b/c it seems to be more well known,and I'm still on that part of my post. In my mind there is bound to be some misreadings b/c I don't believe human beings are perfect in every way, and all have our own interpretations...but even one word(I know, I'm bi-lingual, Finnish was my first language) not interpreted exactly could change the entire meaning. I think it's again, personal, and that God would be big enough to meet us where we are. I love the version where Jesus decended into hell, first, after being crucified, and prophesized to those in that "state", which leads me to believe that at any time, in body or not, we are going to experience what we believe or expect, but that this can always be changing and growing, I know it is for me. I also feel I'm more spiritual than religious..throughout my life, I have studied formally and informally world religions...and would listen to anyone about their beliefs, but nothing fits all...I have told my kids their spirituality is a great journey, finding what works for them, and supporting them no matter how they'd decide to believe in or practice. The bottom line for me, is respecting others...even if I don't agree on everything. I find gems in everything, and where I was confused when I started searching, now I'm so comfortable, remain teachable, and am very ecclectic. I think the Hindu religion is pretty close to the concepts of my beliefs, the whole reincarnation...and even the gods and godesses, I didn't realize before that they were considered to be "aspects" of the One divine source...which makes all sense to me. I like Native American spirituality, Buddhism....and find my spiritual self is something I really love to explore and practice. I belong to a great group regarding "Cosmic Consciousness" that explores so much, and so many members, and so many different beliefs but a place to share all. The way I feel today, about my spiritual self, is not incongruent with swinging. For me, it's all about "To Thine Ownself Be True"...and I don't see the God I believe in as being anywhere nearly as judgemental and punitive as the one I grew up with. I love this topic, but realize it can be a loaded one for people...I still am reading through responses...and value everyone's standpoint. If God is big enough to have created all....I feel he's big enough to accommadate all. And I do have a loose view that God is experiencing himself through duality...which the world is full of, and feel there is a place for all things in the end. Great topic.....Best Wishes, karmic
  11. HI All! I just had to come back to this thread, and have to say I'm really impressed with so many of the posts on this! This is one of the biggest reasons I like to come here...there's so much to see/learn from others, and great to share experience(s) and feelings about them. I love what mixtupcple said about owning the decision, that's kind of what went on with my example of my young marriage, but that was really like a bad/worst case scenario, but taught me so much, that in that case my past is my best asset at times! I really am so impressed, I mean seriously, to read what Elena wrote. Just to hear a man talk about how he was feeling(maybe a little vulnerable, don't want to put in my own words, though) about his wife's experience. I'm just sitting here thinking, wow...if only everyone could be that honest when feeling a tough feeling coming up! If I were the wife in that situation, I'd be thrilled to death he asked me about it. And very honestly, everyone is a little different, and you learn more and more about those things as you go on...and the best way sometimes is to ask. Sometimes it is so simple as another angle, intensity shifting according to where you are at...etc..etc..and to ask and then incooperate that and not take it in a hurtful way, is a glorious thing:) I think it's prescisely little things like that that could be potential issues building up over time...and it's refreshing to hear about that particular situation, b/c that's what it's all about, for me...communication and being able to not jump to conclusions about anything. So good to read from everyone, Best Wishes, karmic
  12. Hi All, I just wanted to ammend or rather clarify a part of my above post. I mentioned that I was married for a while(very young), before I really felt comfortable in giving oral sex, for the first time...but that I was hooked from the get go... The only thing I wanted to say b/c we were talking where we want a man to put it, that's why I mentioned the fact that I probably was a later bloomer in giving, and even recieving oral. However, b/c I'm bi-sexual, it was another story with that. I had already from quite a young age been experimenting with other young females, one "close friend" at a time.. It felt natural, in that case exploring did lead to even oral sex, but with me giving, to a girl. Just wanted to mention this in case any confusion...fun thread, and I stand by my answers;) Best, karmic
  13. Hi All, What fun, this thread! I finally got through it and I really like the humor and honesty throughout. I have to say,for me, it slightly depends on the person I'm with. If there is something that would be a real turn on, b/c it is a real turn on, makes it a turn on for me as well. However, b/c of some prior experience, I never got into the whole anal thing too much. I think with the right person...maybe one day try again with that. But from the heart, I really enjoy swallowing, there's something about that I really love, interesting for someone who got into oral only when married for a while(so around 18-19), and then was totally hooked after that, the feeling of it...any possible "cons" are always outweighed by the benefit of the overall thrill for me, and challenge myself to not waste a drop if this way. Inside me.....very erotic, and agree with what most posters said about this, the intimacy, the feelings, and ditto on especially if we are cumming together, often especially after more familiar with someone, and chemistry is good, just feeling that will suddenly take me there with him. So...b/c of this...oh, did I mention that often when giving oral to male or female and they start getting off, it's such a strong turn on, that I often end up joining the person, any direct stimulation or not...so these two would be top favorites, but there's always room for more...lol I don't mind a facial if it's all in good fun, and on the body, pearl necklaces...etc. I like the feeling on my skin, and will get my hands into it, for sure, though funny that I do prefer if it's going in my mouth to swallow it as it..ah..cums.. I have this really really good girlfriend(whole other thread with this gal, she's awesome), and she feels the same way...we have played together with men and try really hard share the end results together. Hope all are well, thanks for the fun thread, karmic Hmmm,
  14. Hi ncmd_couple, Actually, I think that was probably one huge unsaid factor on his part. That's a really good insight, actually, and I'm glad you took the time to voice the immediate thoughts you had. It's always hardest to see the apple on my own head sometimes! I'm sure this was a big possibility, and fits on many levels, looking back. I am glad it's ancient history though...big grins...I have so many things to be grateful for...living and then actually learning a bit, is invaluable and a bonus... Best, karmic
  15. Hi All, Feels good to be here while I had some precious me time to do some more looking and responding. This question is intended really for the guys feelings about it, but women have shared their thoughts too, and it's an interesting twist, maybe, b/c I'm bi-sexual;). I do not mind any woman or man friend kissing me after being down on me, and in the right situations, kissing a man or woman after they went down on another woman, especially, if in that situation, to "get a taste". Love oral to begin with, especially giving....I had some hang ups when younger about the whole deal but not regarding this specific, so post waiting to happen in that way, someday...grin...I am a swallow person if I feel close enough to give a BJ in the first place...usually(unless there's another destination for the deposit). I find everyone does have their own taste, and diet can affect it, but overall, I feel like its all a little unique. I have often had the "no way" on kissing after having given a BJ to some men...but luckily, not so much, but I don't get all upset about it if that happens, to each their own. If lucky enough to be in a 3 some with a male and another female...IF the female half is interested, one thing I find particularly hot, is kissing each other after having given oral sex to the man, either together, or one of us , and sharing the result. Take Care All, karmic
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