Jump to content

JohnUK1

Registered
  • Content Count

    35
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About JohnUK1

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 01/01/1970

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    couple (m)
  • Location
    London

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

  1. UPDATE: Well, I guess the inevitable happened...She was supposed to see him tonight. My stress levels have been up all week if I'm honest. I've tried to deal with them but no joy! She'd disappeared into the bedroom for a while and I suspected she'd be on her phone emailing him. I had a look and I was right. Now you guys probably think that thats nothing...but for me it kinda just feels like an affair, except that I know about it. The worst part is I'm finding it near impossible to trust her. I kinda went into one, and it turns out she was only on facebook. Well I didn't take a good luck she may have been on gmail too. Anyway, she said she's not going to go even though I said she can go, although I was saying it in anger!! As much as the idea, when making love turns me on, the reality is just too much for me and messing up my head. I'm finding it almost impossible to trust her. So this is not for me I finally accept that now. In the past I'd want it again as it was a turn on but there's just too much problems coming from it for me. As they say...it's not for everyone. We were very happy before we tried this again recently. But if you loose trust and the reality did actually hurt me, as well as turn me on. But my sanity is way better off served just being us for us! There's going to be a lot of tension in the house for a while and we probably need to do loads of repair talking, but for now I just want my space and to have some me time where I can de-stress and forget about all this. I still love her with all my heart!! Thanks guys for all your advice and input! John.
  2. That's really good and your husband is lucky! She has already said a while back that she could never be happy if I wasn't so thats certainly a good foundation. She's actually been in Miami this week and is leaving in about....3 minutes!! So I'm REALLY looking forward to having her back!! Sha says she can't wait either!!
  3. IMHO, even if you did manage to get up the courage or drive yourself to do this for her sake, I believe given your feelings, the outcome would be disatrous for you and therefore her. It's hard that she so badly wants this. I'm in a slightly similar situation but the idea on my side turns me on although I do have doubts about her feelings for her playmate. For you, it appears you will definitely not react well to her being intimate with another guy. I believe the reality will be harder for you than even your fears. For me, I'm ok with the physical part of it. I'd suggest telling your wife the idea hurts you. It's tough considering you did do an FMF with her but you'll still entitled to your feelings. I hope she will understand where you're coming from, as try to focus on you. Good Luck!
  4. Hi junglecouple, thanks for your reply! I was the one suggesting this actually. Sometimes, as most of you will know, the fantasy is 100% erotic and comes with no worries, doubts or problems! It's just the sex. The reality however, means she needs to be seeing a guy alone and obviously that will be in contact with him. Sometimes I say to myself to just relax about it and not worry and other times I feel like I'm encouraging a situation to develop behind my back. I guess only time will tell, unless I tell her to stop it all. Undecided at the moment but I feel this will be resolved one way or the other soon enough!
  5. Really? Even if she only meets him to play? If this is going to happen wouldn't she have to be phoning him regularly as well. She says she doesn't. She says the emails are just basic stuff and that he had been emailing regular enough. But she has been deleting them (red flag!). She says this is because when it all kicked off with her ex I threatened to contact him. I found an email with him saying he loved her, was jealous of her and that they should be together! Ouch!! She said she was worried that because I might have jealously feelings that I might contact this guy one day. I don't know her password to her email address but she said i can look at them anytime now as she's stopped deleting them. I don't really want to be second guessing her and live like that but I might surprise her one day and ask to see them. I suppose if she wanted to do stuff behind me back she could just get another PAYG sim card rather than email. But you could drive yourself mad thinking like that! Lol
  6. Hi ViSexual, this is how I feel my wife is actually. She told me years ago when she was with her ex that having only ever been with me that she felt making love with him caused her to tie it to the feelings she associated with love. She says it's different with this guy but he's only the 3rd guy she's ever been with (she's 36) so if that's true she's learned to do something new! Hope so!
  7. Hi angelkin, thanks for your reply! Did you have a problem easing off the contact with this guy? Was the any frustration or resentment? Especially considering you didn't have those emotional feelings for the guy. I don't think she has emotions involved with this guy but I been wrong before and as I mentioned she only plays alone and only with him. But she only meets him to play and not very often. She says she doesn't phone him except on the day to play. Guess I should give her the benefit of the doubt.
  8. Sorry to hear that lotsoffun201. My missus does tell me how I mean thee world to her and how she wants to grow old with me etc. We been together about 15 years + 3 kids. I was her first and she still tells me I'm the man of her dreams so on that basis I shouldn't worry. I'll try not to but she's not into different playmates. She has only ever been into one at a time. And only wants to play alone. Maybe this is asking for trouble, we shall see I suppose!
  9. Hi km34, thanks for replying! As you mentioned, my wife has only played with one guy before this guy. The first was her ex and yes she did develop feelings for him that she didn't tell me of. Maybe because it was her first time she handled it all wrong by not telling me. He was living abroad so it wasn't a regular thing really. This guy lives in our city but she only sees him to play but she plays alone. She's only seen him twice. She assures me that she has none of those feelings this time and neither does he. I won't go on too much about her cos I'll detract from this thread. Anyone else ever got in too deep? I appreciate that everyone is different and just because someone develops something doesn't mean someone else will. Actually I should have addressed this to guys too. Any guys had their wife get her emotions involved in their swinging partner?
  10. Thanks Sandy. Yeah I suppose one bitten an all that...but she'd adamant that there's nothing to worry about with this guy.
  11. Hi ladies! I'm just wondering and have looked online with not a lot of success. I was trying gauge the percentage of women who swing and who have at some point developed feelings for the swinging partner? So obviously this question would be for a woman who has had a regular swinging partner. Even to those experienced ladies, did you ever in the past have feelings for a swinging partner that caused problems in your relationship? I guess what I'm wondering is have any of you have difficulties in your relationship due to you getting your emotions tied up with the playing? We always hear women get their emotions involved more easily than men. This is my worry at the moment. Thanks, John
  12. Then....we're back to all the strife we had before, meumeu! Not good! I remember it well! We've talked at length about her feelings and she assures me it's just sex for her. Although she said that last time but he was her ex. This guy, she only sees in a hotel room. I suppose there's less chance developing anything, that way.
  13. Hi Sandy, god your reply has kinda put the frighteners on me. She assures me it is only sex but I do have doubts if she can just view it as that. Maybe! She keeps saying thats all it is for her if I ever ask her. Again she never brings it up but would meet up with him asap if I suggest it. She's also very loving these days even more so than usual. Which is a lot! I'm hoping her explosion is just a physical one! This guy is not her ex. The first guy was and she wasn't honest with me about her fellings. He's dead in the water to her nowadays though and lives abroad. She doesn't work with this guy just in the same field. She met him on a training course and wouldn't be bumping into him via work. I guess, doing it this way, I'll always be second guessing as I'm not there which isn't really good imo. So I'll give this a good break and not mention it. She won't either. She'll no doubt want to meet up with him but understands my feelings so would never push it. She also is totally against me doing anything and would prefer to cancel the whole thing than have me play. This might be the end outcome actually.
  14. Hi Guys, thanks for your replies! Yes I've decided not to mention it for a while and see how I feel in the future. If I don't mention it she never does. We have talked about it and she said she won't delete any emails from him in future. She said he hasn't contacted her in the past few days as she isn't meeting up with him. So will take a break for a bit and maybe revisit it sometime in the future. It still does turn me on if the negative stuff is removed but we'll see! Things are fine between us at present. She regularly tells me I'm the love of her life. Thanks again!
  15. Hi Additude, thanks for your advice and you're probably right I feel. By "being man enough" I mean that I was the one suggesting this. She never brought/brings the idea up but had talked about it when I have. She used to just always say: "We'll see. If the right guy comes along..." So now after all this time when she's finally there I get cold feet. I guess I'm being too hard on myself. I mean it's not like I'm a regular at this and reality is a whole lot difference to fantasy. She fully understands where I'm coming from and says we can cancel the whole thing. Although I know she'd perfer not to. Do you or anyone ever have any doubts about your other half if you've ever asked them to stop playing. For example I know she'd like to continue but then I suppose it's like her worrying about me doing something. You could worry about anything really, I suppose! Mentally I'm feeling much better though. We've had the kids away with their aunties so we've had a nice romantic time. Plenty of bonding. I'll probably take your advice though and take a break from this. She never mentions it if I don't, so shouldn't be too hard!
×
×
  • Create New...