Jump to content

funcpl4life

Registered
  • Content Count

    160
  • Joined

  • Days Won

    1

funcpl4life last won the day on July 17 2008

funcpl4life had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

51 Excellent

About funcpl4life

  • Rank
    100 Posts Club
  • Birthday 01/18/1968

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    NW Arkansas
  • Interests
    A combination of geeky hobbies that might as well be a fingerprint. 8)
  • Occupation
    Computer Support/Admin Support
  • Swinging Experience
    9 years
  1. I called a halt to swinging about 6 months ago. Our home sex life was suffering badly and my wife seemed to need swinging to get off. Also, the couple we swung with the most had really gotten into areas and attitudes that I (we) weren't interested in. When I called a halt, I was VERY clear. My wife was still under the impression that she could swing with others just not that couple. I wasn't down with it. I was DONE with swinging. (still am) I took it pretty hard that she was going to go off and do what she wanted to do despite my objections. I told her that she could do what she wanted, but I would too and that didn't necessarily mean that I would be home when she got there. We kept talking and our marriage is better than it ever has been. I'm not down on swinging as a concept, just for us for the foreseeable future. Your husband was probably disappointed that you put terms and conditions (still partying) with stopping swinging. You placed those friends ahead of him. (according to him) You also are putting yourself into a situation where violating his trust would be easy. Something is bugging him and it's time to make him feel comfortable (go at the pace of the slowest) until he feels secure in the relationship again. My $0.02USD from a former happy swinger and a happy former swinger Mr FC4L
  2. 1) Who thinks they need rufies to get laid at a swinger's party? That is seriously screwed up. 2) You need to find a counselor that works for you. If they are judgmental or uncomfortable with you, move on. Seriously, you need a safe place to let this all out. 3) Grab up a double handful of power. Decide how YOU want to handle it: tell the hosts, tell the cops, call his wife.... It's really about you and what empowers you. Is it important to you that he is thwarted or punished? Is it important that others are protected. Make some internal decisions and act on them. Mr. FC4L
  3. Uninterested "duty" bj. "There! Is that enough?" Nothing as overrated as bad sex.
  4. Interesting. I think we're into semantics at this point. I consider myself bi because I've sucked a dick and liked it. I don't ever have social/personal/dating relationships with men at all. I don't seek out guys. When there are 4 or more of us on the bed (or bed analog), I'm willing to have sexual contact with males and females. To me, bi is "I have sexual contact with males and females". Bi-curious is "I think I would or would like to have sexual contact with males and females". As well as being bisexual, I am truly ambidextrous. I do not accept that anyone's brain is *necessarily* wired like mine. I may be a population of 1. I accept people where they say they are at and love them where they are at. (we all have that friend that isn't as far in the closet as he thinks he is) Mr. FC4L
  5. I can't ask Chicup to change. If I want him to accept me the way I am, then I have to accept him the way he is. Is that too much to ask? I tend to believe people when they say, "that's not my thing". People usually know what turns them on or off. Mr. FC4L
  6. I think if you read sex-starved marriage sites or no more mr. nice guy sites, you will find that women aren't the only ones who shut down sexually. Sex starved marriages are horrible and usually involve some deep emotional hurts on both sides. It is NOT ok to withhold sex in a marriage. Fixing it is hard. Cheating is not a solution. Fix it, live with it or walk away. Yeah, I'd agree with you here. Way too high a percentage. Get over it. In order to fix a sexless marriage, there must be communication. Sometimes this is too much work.
  7. There were just long, uncomfortable silences after subjects like shoes, vacations, car repairs, television shows, etc. Things that we thought were "safe haven" topics. It was just too weird. We bolted. Maybe they were just lousy conversationalists, but it didn't feel that way. Mr. FC4L
  8. I'm often too tall for 69, but doggie-style works well so far.
  9. This is *exactly* where we are. You want to put the baby to bed in the other room? Fine. Older? No. How much older? Not much. Mr FC4L
  10. The symptom rate sounds high to me. I've heard (but can't confirm off the top of my head) that there are many more silent infections than what you show here. IOW, far more than 1/3 of the people with HPV never develop symptoms. I've heard estimates as high as 50% sexually active people will have the virus during their lifetime. Yes, it is possible to spread the virus asymptomatically. I may be a little slow, but besides warts and cervical cancer, what complications? (There's that thing with newborns and their lungs but isn't that hella-rare?) I would talk to them. The immune system usually clears the virus within two years. Get more information and share your concerns with them. See what's up. When you have all the information you think you need, sit on it for 24 hours. Talk to them again before you talk to your play group. Give them the maximum chances to do the right thing. Mr FC4L
  11. Every guy that I have exercised veto power on has been for attitude. They all (ok, both) were some variant of "Sure, I'll sleep with your wife, but you're stupid and I'd never ever let someone sleep with my wife/girlfriend because I'm not that stupid." Thanks for playing. You obviously don't get it. Here's a jar of vaseline and a playboy. Don't call us. Mr FC4L PS One said that to me and not her. One said that to her, but she needed help to focus past "he's so hot".
  12. I would say if you are uncomfortable with something, don't do it. That said, we've never had a problem sharing hotel space. We've done it with vanilla friends and swingers. Get a room with 2 beds. It's not as much fun for 3 way play as a king bed, but gives more sleeping options. We've never had anyone sleep in our bedroom at home overnight. Tell your hubby how you feel. "I don't care where she sleeps, in our bed or elsewhere, but you sleep with me: got it?" (Or whatever makes you feel comfy. I prefer direct and blunt from my lovely wife.) I would also make sure that the hotel isn't booked up and be prepared to plonk down for an extra room and breakfast. If you just don't want her in your room overnight, have a gracious way out. She drove up to see you and if she got a room and breakfast and to meet some nice people out of it (even if nothing happened) she probably will go away thinking well of you. If you all wind up screwing each others' brains out repeatedly and sleeping in a puppy pile, so much the better. I have found that swinging gives me an opportunity to live by the golden rule and the great rede at the same time. 8) Mr FC4L PS Sharing a hotel room between 3 lovely pentacostal holiness ladies and one dude (me) at a work conference was interesting. Lots of waiting for the bathroom. Lots of long pajama bottoms. Sleeping in bras and wearing PJ bottoms with a nightgown made me giggle.
  13. Some of the secretaries were ragging on swingers, swinging and infidelity all in the same breath in the break room. I gave them the "I think there is more in heaven and earth than in all your philosophy" line. I was given the business for months because I didn't agree that all swingers are evil beasts out to steal their husbands. sheesh. I will be very careful about whom I come out to in the Bible belt. We have 2 couples who aren't swingers that we've come out to, but they would've found out anyway. Everybody else, it just isn't their business. Mr FC4L
  14. Dude, that's a nanosecond. The big coil of wire in her bag was the microsecond. (~1000ft.) I treasure mine too. I got it at her lecture at the ISEF. I just passed soda through my nose. I think it's a miracle. I need to be debriefed by a priest. (ref. George Carlin) Mr FC4L
×
×
  • Create New...