Jump to content

New2theSwingSet

Registered
  • Content Count

    15
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About New2theSwingSet

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 02/28/1976

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Married Male
  • Location
    Ontario

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    New2TheSwingSet
  1. Well, i guess it seems almost unanimous that most people expect kissing to be part of the process. Although, we're not alone with the initial no-kissing rule to start out with. It seems some people had the rule and then realized that kissing was an essential peice of the puzzle and dropped the rule. I think we'll end up coming to that conclusion on our own as well, as it becomes more comfortable for us. Thanks for all the insight.
  2. When my wife and i first started discussing some boundaries about what we wanted to do with other people, or what we thought might not be good for us... we talked about kissing the other people we were with. Specifically kissing on the lips, to us it seemed unneccesary, moreover it was something that we felt was more intimate between us and didnt really have much role to play with other partners in the bedroom. The people we play with can enjoy us and we can enjoy them but we dont need to kiss each other to get the pleasure we desired. The few people we played with understood this and were quite happy to just have sex and not the kissing. But we've been to places where alot of swingers were and it seemed even when they were just being introduced they would lean in and kiss on the lips, sometimes a lot deeper then i would have expected. Like it was just a greeting formality. I mentioned it to my wife and she had noticed it as well, and suggested we consider taking the no-kissing rule off the list. Now i'm comfortable when meeting someone, or we're already friends, to share a kiss on the cheek, since its got no intimacy to it. but i guess i want to find out how much of a role kissing plays during the whole swinging experience. Our no-kissing policy isnt set in stone, but since we're new, we previously didnt think it made much difference. *** If kissing is the new way of shaking hands, then it's no wonder i didn't make it through that last job interview very well.
  3. Wow this is an interesting thread. I want to put my 2 cents in, since i'm a house-husband, so i have a different viewpoint. I look after the house, the kids, have the meals prepared, etc. awaiting for my wife to get home from work. I spend a good amount of time thinking about sex, always looking forward to the evening to spend with my wife. Unfortunately i never seem to get it right, i put the kids to bed and usually am prepared to hop in the sack with her before she goes to sleep. She usually has different ideas for the night. Usually consisting of working on paperwork, making important calls, or watching her fave shows, and then either falling asleep on the couch or off to bed where she is the fastest person to fall asleep i've ever known. We've gone through times when she didnt desire anything sexual, possibly a hormone thing, or during or post pregnancy, but the whatever the reason, until it was fixed, luckily for me it's only ever temporary, the sex was non-existant. I also fell into the category of being an asshole. I had needs. But really, the lashing out remarks were always mutual. We both can battle with hurtful words. Really i think it's just a good way to vent the frustration, because we're both feeling that way, and i hear it's a good way to reduce your blood pressure. But when the dust settled and we got over the arguing, we sat down to actually discuss what needs we had during the difficult time of sex-free living. I was upset that i couldnt have sex with her, but what i really wanted was to feel special to her still. It's not uncommon for a woman to feel this way, but men go thru it too. We both enjoy romance, and spending time together, but when it came to sexuality, it was only i that had needed it. Perhaps we could role-play we're on a gameshow and i could use a life-line and call a friend to help me with my needs. But alas, this is reality here and so we talked... about that she wanted to be near me, but the "groping" had to stop. I can handle that, but i don't want to hear that she doesnt see any signs that i want her. To those women being groped by your husbands, thats how we're letting you know we want you. If you dont like it or you are getting the message uncomfortably, you gotta let us know what will work for you. I like to think what works in the bedroom will work anywhere, but i've figured out groping isnt it. But think about it before you suggest something, for instance when my wife suggested i massage her feet instead of groping her and she'd get the hint, well, i think i just took to crawling for about a week and a half to get closer to them. But other then her having a "problem" not wanting sex, she did want to feel close to me emotionally and i spend alot of time giving her alot of non-sex intended attention, back massages, romantic bubblebaths, cuddling on the couch. We also make sure that we hug and kiss every day before she leaves for work or when one of us goes to bed, since we often dont have the same sleep schedule. This works out well. But it doesnt address my needs entirely. But we compromised. I will give her a massage and even if i dont want to, i'll do my best to seem like i'm enjoying it. And really i do. And she could spend some time teasing me in the bedroom, or a handjob, or whatever she is comfotable with, and seem to enjoy it as well. But having sex wont become an issue. She always felt that if she was to "grope" me, that i would just want sex... well now you understand our rationale for groping as well. So i recommend doing some sex-free activities that still involve a level of intimacy. Even if that means she teases me and i just take matters into my own hands. It was like we were teenagers again and that was kind of fun. But... on the other hand, we went through a period of time when i wasnt interested so much in sex. It's a whole different ballgame when she feels rejected or unwanted. Talking about what really matters to each of you during this time can even make the relationship stronger. *** We vowed to each other "To have and to hold" I didnt misinterpret that did I? To have... it does say "To have", right? we both agreed to this i'm sure. through the good times and the bad times.. whether we're rich or poor... in sickness and health... To Have... to have... sorry honey i think it's a pretty binding contract we got ourselves into. it's out of my hands now.
  4. Well, i just wanted to add a couple thoughts to this to see what everyone thinks. I guess the idea that one of the partners may at some point choose to put a halt to the activities before the other is not uncommon. I'm in the situation now where i have been asked to put things on hold until my wife has our baby. I knew during this time it would be expected to stop playing, but not too excited when it finally came down to it. some points to ponder: if i had been told that we were stopping, i would have been quite angry. being asked helped immensely. not that i really had any options, but i didnt feel like i was being forced into anything either. i see alot of people saying you shouldnt start swinging just to please your partner, but they also seem to think u should stop swinging just to please your partner. correct me if i'm wrong about that one. Now we're very young and inexperienced in this realm, but we do have some friends that we consider very close to us. I don't think of them as toys for my amusement. I think although they might not be close to each other, it's still an extended group. So in any team event, if one person is a weak link, they don't just make the person closest to them suffer, it does have an effect on the whole. So i don't see many people taking a democratic stance and discuss options with their group before they just flatout call it quits. Maybe it's not necessary if you're the team leader and anyone else's opinion doesnt make any difference to you. But i notice alot of people saying communication is vital to making things work. Is it safe to assume that when you make a decision or want something to change, you dont consider communicating with your friends? I've also noticed that some times, generally the wife (dont attack me on this one, i'm sure men have done this too) will make a statement of: I'm not enjoying this as much and want to stop, but under the right circumstances it may be possible. What's this supposed to mean? I realize in my case, if we found someone close to us that enjoyed pregnant women then it would be a possibility, but again that means the one that wanted to stop things also has total control over ever starting things again. So am I, like others that might not be prepared at that instant to stop, not supposed to have the desire to want things to continue. How can i honestly answer the question of "Hey honey, what do u want to do tonight?" As well, maybe it's only my lusting opinion, but at the moment you're being confronted to stop playing, how uncommon is it to suggest maybe a couple more times (perhaps a specific number of times) and then the decision can be reached together. Furthermore, what happens when the friends you play with are also friends that you also hang around with socially. I dont know about others, but our friends, when we go out and socialize, we usually all have the same goal in mind for the end of the night. So how many playmates do you keep as just friends after you stop playing? Concluding, i'd like to suggest that one person having the control over making the other person start or stop swinging is completely intolerable. If it's a strong marriage, both need to actually respect the others concerns and show some compassion. To me it seems very hypocritical to think you cant (shouldnt) force your partner to start swinging, but you can force them to stop. *** So the 2 kids are playing building a tower, it's very strong on the ground floor, and they start building it higher. Reinforcing every block, it might not be a perfect tower, but it's taking on a good shape, and they are working on it together. the one kid decides he doesnt want to play anymore. The tower just isnt working out. so the kid just smashes the whole thing. the other kid sulks for awhile. perhaps he'll build his own tower. perhaps they'll just go and play tag. Our tower has a big Under Construction sign on it and we're both out to lunch.
  5. My wife came home after work, beaming to talk to me about her idea for my upcoming birthday present. Turning 29, I’ve wanted a lot and having children young pretty much took care of ever getting many of the things I desired. This birthday wouldn’t be much different then years past, but I really had no idea what to expect. I wasn’t looking forward to going to work, overnight shift, and I hadn’t got any sleep yet to be rested for it. My wife wanted to do something in the evening, so we sent the kids to Grandma’s for the night. I asked her what she wanted to do or where she wanted to go, but she had no idea and hadn’t time to make plans. I offered to call a friend of mine up and the two of them could go out and get a drink or something. She thought it would be a good idea, so I made the call and found she wasn’t doing anything either, just sitting around at her friend’s while he had a little party with his buddies. So I arranged for my wife to pick her up in an hour and I was going to lie down and grab a couple hours of shut eye. I told my wife that my friend was going to put on some makeup and dress up to go out. My wife exploded at this point. What the hell? I’ve been working all day and now I have to get dressed up, and put on make-up! Needless to say, it took awhile to calm her down and get her ready to go out. Still I hadn’t slept a wink. Once she was dressed to go out, make-up on, she looked so sexy. I didn’t even think about sleeping now. You sure you don’t want to just call your night off and spend some quality time with me? I can take the night off work if it’s okay with you. Then she gazed at me with her intoxicating eyes, I have a much better idea she said. Leaning over to breathe on my neck, she smelled so good. She whispered, I have an idea if you think you’re up for it. Instantly I was getting hard. Do you think you can get your friend to join us tonight? That’s my idea for your birthday present. I’ll let you have sex with her. Well, I didn’t need my rubber arm twisted. I hadn’t really flirted with girls before, and only been on a few dates before getting seriously involved with my wife. So I didn’t know where or how to begin, plus I hadn’t really spent a whole lot of time with my friend so I didn’t have any idea how to accomplish this task. But I was up for the challenge. Since I had told my friend that I was going to work, and for her to get away from her friends for a girl’s night out, I sent my wife to get her and bring her back home where I would inform them that my work called and then didn’t need me to come in for my shift. When they arrived I was naturally upset that I couldn’t go to work and now had no idea what to do. We may as well sit here and have a drink to figure out what was going to happen. Do you guys mind if I tag along for your night out? Of course, my wife jumped in and said that it might be fun having me with them. So it was settled. Where were we to go then? My wife called up one of her friends, a lady who sells lingerie from her house, and we decided to bring my friend over to have a look through some. The shopping trip didn’t take long but my friend did come out with a nice top and sexy thong. Then we returned back home for another drink and to think about where else we could go for a drink. My wife isn’t much of a drinker and she was the designated driver so she just drank water while I loaded up the fruit juice with vodka for my friend and I. I have an idea, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, why don’t we go out of town to a strip club we occasionally visit? It is a little-known strip club of the “hands-on” variety. The kind most woman would reject to going to, but my wife spoke up quickly, hey that would be a great idea. Do you mind? She asked my friend. She was up for going pretty much anywhere. So the plan was set and off we went. Twenty minutes later we were knee deep in 30 beautiful women baring all and dancing on the stage and mingling with the desperate men and passing truckers. There I was with a girl on each side and a drink in my hand, I wonder how the boys are doing at work tonight? We talked about getting a dancer to go into the VIP lounge for a private dance. Oh you two go get one, my wife suggested, we’ve had a dance together before. I flagged down a dancer and we went to the back, my friend on my arm. This was great, I couldn’t keep my mind focused, because I knew what the night may have in store. During the lap-dance, my hands began to explore the dancer, and casually on my friend as well. My friend noticed my gentle groping of the dancer and blurted out “What are you doing? I thought you weren’t allowed to touch the strippers!” To this the dancer leaned over us both and explained, “If you ask me if you can touch me, then I have to tell you it’s not allowed…” She had such a sweet devilish smile, and my friend figured out what she meant. Well, one dance turned into another, then another dancer for another couple songs, and then we were pretty tipsy when my wife asked if we’d mind going back to our place so she could start catching up with the drinking. We all agreed and in no time we were back in our living room each of us with a stiff drink in hand. My friend felt like dancing, “wouldn’t it be exciting being a stripper? But I don’t have the body for it”. I could tell she was a little horny from our shared lap-dances. “Well show me what you can do, if you’d like. I think you look very sexy” I told her. She was about 5’6” and was very skinny. She weighed only about 100 pounds, and I’ve always been turned on by skinny women. Her brown hair was very long and straight and she slowly began to dance on my hardwood living room floor. She pulled the sides of her thong up over her tight low-rider jeans and I thought it was a pretty sexy first attempt at a strip tease. We started to talk so I lit some candles and we sat on the floor. I slid up behind her to put my legs around her to rub and massage her back. She didn’t object and I think it helped that my wife was sitting across from her, completely okay with the situation. We must have spent a good couple hours just talking when my wife said it was getting pretty late. I leaned close and said to her, and within earshot of my wife, why don’t we go upstairs to the bedroom? There were no objections, so up we went. Wow was I excited. I paced my drinking all night just to make sure I could perform if needed and I was starting to think I was going to make my greatest fantasy come true. We got on the bed and I took off my shirt, and lay down in the middle. My wife was on one side, my friend on the other. They were laying on me so we could all talk. The chit-chat was brief. My wife started to lick my nipples and run her fingernails down my chest and stomach. My friend didn’t seem uncomfortable, so my wife unzipped my pants and started playing with my hard cock. Then my friend started to lick my other nipple and rubbed her leg against mine. My wife pulled my pants off me and continued to play with me, I whispered into her ear, start sucking on my cock and then she can join you. My wife smiled and obliged. After a few moments of her amazing blowjob, I whispered into my friend’s ear, why don’t you give her some help down there? I could see her watching my wife, licking her lips. She looked at me shyly, and quietly said "I was just going to." So I put my hands behind my head, and received the most enjoyable blowjob known to man. Watching as their tongues licked the head of my cock, and them taking turns sliding their soft mouths all the way down the shaft. Watching their hungry mouths working my cock was truly a sight I won’t forget. My friend started playing with my balls and they kept taking turns licking and sucking, I was sure I’d explode if I didn’t do something. "Would you like to feel that cock inside you?" I asked my friend. She looked up at me, saliva and pre-cum dripping from her mouth, "Yes, I would" she said quietly. My wife looked at her with her captivating eyes and said, "you can have him tonight, I’d like to watch." I was pretty speechless, excited, and euphoric. I managed to speak, to ask her how she’d like to start. Having sex with only my wife, it’s pretty easy to have sex, start with this position, then that one, and another one, back to the first one, a new one or two and we’re pretty pleased. But I wasn’t sure what my friend was into. "Do you want me to get on top or do you want to get on top of me?" I asked her. "Oh, can we just lay on our sides, with you behind me to start. I don’t like getting on top very much" she said. That was fine with me, and so I lay with my front to her back, on our sides and slowly slid my cock into her tight warm pussy. I kept rubbing my hands across her body, grabbing her little ass in my hand. I teased her pussy with my cock, slowly thrusting it in and sliding it out. She was getting very wet and started to moan very quietly. I’d like to get on top of you, she said. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Oh I do want to she said and straddled me as I rolled on to my back. She looked so good on top of me, her flat chest with little nipples, and a very flat stomach. My wife watched, getting very turned on, she lay beside me whispering very dirty things in my ear and licking and pinching my nipples. Do you like her little pussy? She looks amazing fucking you. Oh look you’re going to make her cum already. My friend was trying to suppress her moans, but she was in total ecstasy. I grabbed her tiny ass in my hands and put some force into her riding motion. She arched her back, her long hair hanging down to her ass, and grasped my balls in her hand, squeezing them gently as she rode me. My wife started to rub her hands down my friend’s back and played with her little erect nipples. She like watching this girl on my cock, it was turning her on so much. Then she slid her hands down my chest and started playing with this girl’s clit. It didn’t take long for her to start trembling at my wife’s touch as she rocked on my cock; the pleasure was so intense she had multiple orgasms while she rode me. I don’t think she’ll mind getting on top in the future. It was quickly approaching the morning hours, and I think we all were getting tired, but this was just way too much fun. I told her to bend over and I was going to fuck her doggy-style. Seeing her little ass wiggling in front of me as I pounded my cock into her pussy was a total rush. I pushed her down onto her stomach and started thrusting into her harder and deeper and she had another stream of orgasms before I felt myself getting ready to cum. I fucked her harder and then pulled out to spray my cum all over her back and ass. Then I rolled off of her and lay beside her, and my wife held me and whispered into my ear, happy birthday sweetheart.
×
×
  • Create New...