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couplewanting50

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couplewanting50 last won the day on March 27 2008

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About couplewanting50

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    Swingers Board Addict
  • Birthday 07/01/1950

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  • Relationship Status
    couple
  • Location
    Iowa
  • Swinging Experience
    Several years

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  1. One advantage of advancing age is a sort of physical maturity that allows control. Yes, there can be highly erotic moments or sensations that can cause a partial or total loss of control, but fundamentally, with control you can go as long as you want. Understand, I am a man who has greater imagination than to think that making love is just mounting the woman and thrusting like a railroad locomotive. Very long periods of time can be spent coupled, inside of her. Occasional pullouts and insertions. The women who say they don't want it long are thinking of the thrusting piston performance that goes on like dogs breeding. That would literally damage delicate tissue. To answer your question, it can be as long as you want. It can be hours. It can be all night. Mix into this the idea of the male not having orgasms and you can see how this works. There are advantages to rarely having an orgasm. It is an extended, delicious period of sexual agony and pleasure. You are hard for her easy and often and perpetually. There is some Asian philosophy that can be read on this very subject. Several decades ago I had a male friend tell me about this book he was reading, some Asian literature, and he asked what I would think about not coming when making love. I couldn't conceive of it. I wanted my orgasm that bad when I was young, and managed to be selfish because of it. A few years later I was to abstain from ejaculating for a fertility test. In my relationship at that time we were highly sexual. We wanted play. I said I would not come. I was not honestly sure I could do it at first, but it is possible. We made love several times a day for about four days straight, for extended periods of time, and I did not come. I admit to being pretty crazy, but it was marvelous. There will be the woman who will say, oh, I could not be happy if he did not come. That woman has never experienced what this thinking brings to her. She would change her mind when she saw it was more pleasurable for her and the man. Especially for him, if he was selfless enough to embrace that gift to her.
  2. No, you don't need to jeopardize your health.... at all. You can still get tested as often as you like, for whatever you like. You just don't have to put a statement about your swinging on a banner behind an airplane and tow it around the city. Chicup has written a number of times regarding the varied risks that you expose yourself to if you tell your doctor and it ends up in your records. Once it is in there, it won't come out. It is hard to guess how that might one day be used, or leaked, and what effect may occur. You can still have your tests and lose nothing. In your case, however, it is a bit late. The doctor knows now. You seem more outraged by the violation of ideals that you hold, than a practical analysis of realistic circumstances. Ideally, we should be able to tell our doctor anything. In reality, there are considerable risks, many of which we not be able to predict at this time. Meaning, maybe we can't.
  3. Perhaps the simplest and most useful thing would be if the question was rephrased to communicate: How is it possible for a man to enjoy his wife fucking other men and encourage her to do so? What about it is erotic and appealing? Then the intended spirit and direction of the question would be possible. I think it is an interesting topic.
  4. For most men it is mental. Their expectations are too high, they are analyzing and reviewing, rather than simply being open to pleasure and allowing response to occur naturally. For me, I find that the real solution is separate room play, eliminating all of the numerous possible distractions, focusing only on my sexual partner, and being with her. I love watching my wife fuck and play, but don't have much luck in a room with others playing. I am not complaining, you understand, as separate room play is marvelous.
  5. She is playing and you are not. She is not comfortable with you playing as a couple, with another couple? Why is that? Because you get to play?
  6. Playing alone as a swinging couple seems to be essentially the same as an open marriage as you describe it. Pondering this as the male half of a couple that has decided to explore playing alone, and knowing that single males in the swing lifestyle have fewer opportunities than single females, the open relationship language seems to offer greater promise. Meaning, if you meet women with whom you would like to play, saying that you are in an open relationship would be more acceptable to a woman than saying that you are a swinger who plays alone. Forgive me if I am off topic from this thread. These thoughts just occurred to me as I have been reading. All of the many designations of variations on lifestyles make up a continuum in a huge gray area. So much overlap. This all sharpens the boundary between people in the lifestyle and in the vanilla world, because people in the lifestyle are not so hung up on labels and meaning. They are immersed in exploration and pleasure. Maybe you use the label that you think will work the best with whomever you are talking.
  7. I think one answer may be just be in it more so as to be more accustomed to it. We have a club dance this weekend again, so there will be more opportunity. And, it is fun just being in with all those nude people. Very erotically charged atmosphere.
  8. Erections are supported by emotional and physiological processes that must both be present. You are free to disagree, but your popped erection is a self-fulfilling prophesy, not anything pharmaceutically driven. Read the literature and you will see that these drugs to not cause erections. If you have erections that easily, you likely don't need to be augmented by any drug at all. These drugs enhance the physiological side of the equation, and do nothing for the emotional, other than, perhaps, add positive, erotic expectation and mood. I don't understand your very last sentence.
  9. One other slant on the doctor connection. In other threads here a user who is, I believe, a doctor, has said that it is a bad idea to tell your doctor that you are a swinger because it will become part of your medical records and you can't know who will see it later and how it will affect you.
  10. We went to the group room at the last club dance. There were a lot of people in there. I like the erotic sounds the women make as they are aroused and responsive and play. But, then.... some nitwit turned on the light a couple of times to find something, saying, “OK, going to turn on the light now!”, doing that three times. They also had a radio playing, of all things. I finally got up and turned it off. I was so distracted and irritated that I did not get hard with my own lady, then, we got asked to play with another couple, one of the host couples. We have been acquainted with them for quite a while, but never really played with them, although we have wanted to. I regret to say that due to the radio and lights and some chatter, my mind remained locked on John Tesh and his intelligence for living monologue. I was totally distracted and out of the mood. Consequently I did not get hard. I admit that I need more practice in a group setting like that, but there needs to be no radio. Music, perhaps, mood music, is a possibility, but not radio, with commercials, jingles, voices, and so on. That is why we came to really love separate room play. Just each of us with our new partner. Having said that, I would like to learn how to be better in the group room, as I think there is a lot of fun to be had there. So.....how did you learn to deal with all of that? I would like to have some ideas, if you would share some.
  11. The upside of all this is that you still can. You can still tell the truth, and have that work out. Just say you were uncomfortable telling him what your actual situation was, and so you contrived a story to help you get through. Then, you reconsidered, decided that you wanted a connection with him based on truth, not fiction, and so....can we start over? The only risk you face is getting lectured by him about safe sex, unknown partners, all of that. I am not saying, don't do it for that reason, I am just saying that some doctors will lecture you, others will be fascinated. A couple we have played with multiple times has an open connection with their doctor; this doctor happens to be fascinated by the lifestyle and offers them absolutely no criticism — only questions and rapt attention to the answers. The doctor will understand how anxiety could emerge, and should help you. Then, if he is critical and says he won't help with such madness, then you get a new doctor. Keep us posted on this, seriously, as it will be interesting to see how the doctor reacts to your truth. All the best to you.
  12. You are correct. Those are the alternatives I imagined as I started the thread. A group room offers the mega-version of the disadvantages of same room play. To the max.
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