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Bella&Cooper

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15 Good

About Bella&Cooper

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    Contributor

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    married couple
  • Location
    western Canada
  1. I am completely understanding of how you are feeling. We have been in the lifestyle for the past 9 months or so and have had some good experiences. Having said that, I've never let myself completely go and be open, and when all is said and done, the act of swinging physically has made me uncomfortable. What swinging has done for my sex life with my husband has made it enhanced and we've learned things about each other and our fantasies that we didn't know about each other before. Swinging works and ONLY works when BOTH husband and wife are into it 100%. When one person, for whatever reason, decides they can't do it anymore, then that's it. Could be either partner, doesn't matter. Nothing is intolerable, swinging in and of itself is not something for everyone and it takes a very open minded person and couple to experience it in the first place. I think if your husband really loves you and respects you, he will come to understand how you are feeling. I told my husband that I wasn't comfortable anymore, and he said "no problem, hon, DONE. Say no more.." because at the end of the day, our marriage, life, family and home are way more important than the quest of finding and screwing other people. I too have said that I'm not closing the door completely on swinging, just that I need a break from it all. And that is completely acceptable and I would accept that if it came from him as well. Good for you for sticking to your guns, and being true to YOURSELF. In the lifestyle, I've learned that you cannot dismiss your feelings because things can spiral out of control pretty darn quick. Best wishes to ya..
  2. Bella is also a slow to orgasm girl and it takes very specific attention to make her cum. I know what to do after spending an abundant amount of time with her but the reality is a man who is with her for the first time just isn't going to be successful at it. I think the reality is that unless there are multiple encounters with the same guy, the connection required to get to orgasm just won't happen. I don't think you should hold it against these men who fail. If you really want to orgasm with them, you are probably going to have to give very specific instructions. Most men would be happy to be told exactly what works and not focus on something that just won't get you there.
  3. RG, I find it ironic that you are concerned about the line of vows specifying "forsaking all others" and yet you broke the key part of your original vows "til death do us part". This isn't a judgement on the validity of your divorce on my part. Merely an observation. I think like most texts that are bible/church based, there are a lot of ways to interpret it and for many, forsaking all others, means that you will not leave behind your spouse for someone else. A relationship with others with the consent of your spouse would be considered to adhere to that vow for many couples. I will say that if your conscience tells you that what you are doing is wrong, for whatever reason, then one should definitly abstain. I haven't seen the Dr.Phil episodes but it disappoints me that he would be so strongly opposed to it without being willing to do effective research.
  4. This definitely is a good question! And definitely a good conversation piece. Who would of have thought this about 20 years ago, that a topic on screen names would come up, in addition to all of the innuendos, etc that follow from picking a screen name? I picked Bella because its a name I used to use on a women's erotic site I managed. Its also part of my "regular" screen name I use on all my MSN sites I frequent. Cooper is hubby's middle name and a name he just loves. Hence Bella & Cooper. Not much excitement there, but we do like our screen names and think they reflect pretty much who we are...
  5. Atilla, your experience sounds almost identical to ours. With a few minor changes, we basically had our very first real life encounter with a couple last Saturday night. Things got pretty heated and intense, and boundaries were ultimately crossed (her hubby, my hubby and myself all being the ones doing the crossing over his wife's boundaries) and it looks now that we've lost a pretty decent friendship out of the deal too. I think swinging is definitely an exciting lifestyle, but not for the faint of heart, which I wonder if maybe I am, since for the past 6 days I've been in absolute misery, not being able to talk to my friends. She has asked for some space and time to figure things out, but I know things won't ever be the same again. I hate to say it, but I'm glad I'm not the only one going through this right now. We should talk, lol.
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