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growgirl

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About growgirl

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  • Birthday December 20

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    Home of tax-free shopping
  1. Dito to sensuality, however... I think you are overthinking a tad at the moment. Everything is very fresh right now. That being said though, accept things for what they are right now and learn from them. You implicity okayed them to have sex. Bad Judgement? You betcha... Would you have felt this way had they had sex w/out you but on the couch, not duplicating a "private" session? While I don't mean to negate your feelings, it may help you to accept that this is one of those fucked up moments thats going to occur anywhere, be it bed, work, family etc... You move on and it hopefully will make your relationship stronger. I don't agree fully w/ sexhoundog's statement though... if you're looking for something, you're going to find it wether it's actually there or only in your head. Agreed, no more phone conversations, keep everything "public" but your relationship has changed and even when this becomes a distant memory, it'll always be just a little bit different than it was before. There's nothing you can do about it now though and it's up to you and DH to move on or to dwell on it and do nothing. ggs .02
  2. I love a tramp! An aggressive woman gets me almost every time... I'm not a tramp initially, but I like to become one as the evening goes on and I'm assured of reciprocal interest. But now I'm wondering about those subtle hints GoodTimes... Me and subtle are like oil and water... clue me in so hopefully I won't annoy anyone down the line...
  3. ES, that is so true. I find myself doing this to a certain degree. I'm gregarious by nature, however, I do suffer from some self-esteem issues. If a man is friendly, talkative and a gentleman... well, I figure he's just being nice to me until someone better comes along... Now, if he's closer towards the caveman side of the line and leaning towards me, initiating body contact, brushing arms, touching hair, not groping or pawing, just flirty touching, then I know he's truly interested and I respond accordingly. Having to make the first move though, gives me butterflies since I have to be the one out on the limb, awaiting rejection when the hotter hottie shows up.
  4. Well, I guess we differ from most posters... Our sex life was pretty poor prior to swinging. We had never had the strongest communication, we did the advance and retreat dance quite frequently and never resolved anything or truly communicated our feelings. Having the kids was an added stress and we became a "quickie" couple in bed. After 15 years together, I decided to try to change myself and become a better, less emotionally charged and bitter person. It worked. But growguy was still in his rut so to speak. Everything he said to me still had to be run through the "will this piss her off?" filter first. Swinging was something so totally new and off the wall that when I first brought it up, he could approach it without having to run it through the filter. Once we discovered we could do that and not have the end of the world occur, then we started talking honestly and openly about many other things that we had suppressed over the years in an attempt to avoid "emotions gone wild". So while swinging has had a great positive effect on our sex life, I also have to give it a lot of credit for helping us to create a much happier and emotionally healthier life. Instead of a "co-worker" marriage, we have a true couple relationship now.
  5. I agree with Mrs. Indy (as usual), you can't second guess your friend's gf. A club would be a perfect place to start to judge her reactions and comfort level with the lifestyle. It would also give you and her a chance to have more "ladies talk" (that's what the ladies room is for right?) and you could at least get her take on things without her being right in front of your friend. Another idea, you can get her vibe if you and your friend start heating things up on the dance floor. gg's .02
  6. Likeminds, were you a child bride or what??????? 11 years married, 16 total in a committed relationship.
  7. Dang, I'm just getting all kinds of good ideas for our "formerly known as a house party, now just a date" evening. Not that we need an icebreaker with our dates this evening, fortunately. We're meeting them at the adult toy store to do some shopping together (that list is getting longer and longer) and swapping for the ride home sounds like a lot of fun. You guys are the best, I tell ya!
  8. Dito I agree with my near-neighbor adventureus2, what we've experienced (and been guilty of as well ) is prolonging contact because of not being able to clearly state that you're not interested. So, other than the obvious fakers (I mean c'mon, it's 10pm on a friday night, your "unbelievable hot, model material, loves to shake her ass 22 year old wife" is in bed asleep and you're on the computer wanting to chat dirty with me? Puhleeeeeeeeeze!) and the people who must be unable to read, we've had no real "games". growgirl
  9. Yes, they were taken of the market in the united states, due to the company not wanting to invest the $$$$ to bring their manufacturing plant up to new FDA standards. The sponges (both brands I've heard of) have always been available in Canada, and are approved by their version of the FDA. There never was an issue w/ the product itself, just their manufacturing facilities. You can order them online though, and they will ship to the US. I get mine from (I'm not spamming I promise) https://birthcontrol.com/ .
  10. Well, I know during the first few days I'm not thinking about sex as much as I usually do, but on the "tail end" of that week, I get pretty rrrrrrrrandy. I have had luck with using a contraceptive sponge (protectaid or today) when it's near the end of that week. It absorbs and holds enough that nobody who doesn't know I'm being visited can tell. Obviously, you wouldn't want to follow the BC recommendations and leave it in for 6 hours afterwards, unless you're actually using it for BC reasons. I'm surprised that I haven't seen the sponge mentioned more on this site, they aren't cheap, but they are pretty handy little critters to keep around. I'd be curious to know if I'm missing something obvious about them that keeps other women from using them.
  11. Dito to mwsw, I had a wild and varied vanilla sexlife before growguy (but no couples/girls) whereas his teens and 20s were pretty empty due to his never being allowed to date plus his extreme shyness... We were glad to find out after 16 years of monogamy that we were both interested in "more, but together". As as aside... growguy hit the "you know you're a swinger when you've slept with more women after your marriage than before" mark on our third playdate!
  12. Dito to the universal confused look for you... the widened eyes, the knit brow, the slightly open mouth... what? huh? Mrs. Spoo would do good with the "He said what? Jeez, he must have had more to drink than I did..." accompanied by the look.
  13. A dream like that, where someone you know acts in a totally unexpected and totally unlike them way always sticks around for me much much longer. Whether its about sex or children or boating, it's harder for me to shake my emotions after such a dream. It'll pass... don't strain your brain too much... GG's .02
  14. Maybe in oswego it's completely and socially acceptable for women to be bi, but from where I sit, homophobia extends to females as well. I heard many more negative comments than positive after the madonna/britney kiss. You're really pushing the gay/guilt shame bit though Jeff... what's up with that? I haven't encountered a (obvious) transvestite yet, at a club or anywhere else. I wouldn't have a problem with a member or members being tvs, but like panama stated, being surprised would take the fun right out of it! I'd like to see a good one in person though... just for curiosity's sake... the mental checklist would have one more added to it
  15. oh no, gentletexan, a troll doesn't always disappear... in fact, the majority of the good ones stick around and stir the pot frequently. The initial posting is always inflammatory and then the succeeding ones usually insult responders personally; case in point, his rant about JnCC's spelling... wonlongdongdude fits my criteria for a troll to a "t". That and considering it's his/her "first" posting here... He/She is entertaining though, and like a good troll, does bring up valid points, just presents them in an offensive way. I'm guessing it's a 16-20 year old male, educated but unemployed or underemployed, living at home with a computer in his room, too much time on his hands and nobody who really wants him around. He's more than likely the same troll that posed as an anti-breasteeding woman on one of my natural parenting boards.
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