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Avantgarden38

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About Avantgarden38

  • Rank
    Active Contributor

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Together for 25 of our 40 years on THIS planet.
  • Location
    Pottstown, Pa
  • Interests
    Swinging, swinging, and when we aren't swinging we try to swing a little on the side.
  • Occupation
    It's not a job, it's an adventure.

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    Avantgarden38

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  1. What about the gang from Scooby-Doo? What do you think that van was all about? Peter and Lois seem to be mismatched enough to accurately represent many of the swinger couples we have met in real life!
  2. Our first experience with watersports was during a Jet-ski tour. Funny, huh? We were riding along with the group and my wife informed me that she had to pee. She was holding on to me for dear life at who knows what speed and I didn't see any port-o-potties floating in the ocean. So I told her to just let it go right there and now. She was hugging me hard and peed right on the seat, I could feel the warmth. It was a very erotic experience. Since then we play watersports sometimes, only outside or in the shower. She kneels over top of me, after her on top sex, and just lets go. Usually we are hugging, and it feels warm, at that point it's all about her letting go of herself. If I am on the giving end it is usually from a standing position with her kneeling, or sometimes with us both prone and me on top. Urine is sterile when it leaves the body of a healthy person, but we don't actually drink it. If we are planning this type of activity I try to drink plenty of water well in advance and clean myself out. I would advise this practice of any couples thinking of playing in that direction. After drinking a lot of water my urine is clear, odorless and tastes only slightly salty. My wife says fluid leaving my cock, semen or urine, is sexual to her. My swing partner has a fascination with holding my cock while I urinate. I think that is a kind of watersport as well. She is interested in participating. She wants to aim my stream onto my wife. If that isn't kinky, nothing is. . .lol
  3. Gosh, looking over this list and the posts we have done everything most people consider too intimate. Including the use of the "L" word. We have been swinging with one couple for two years. It just isn't in me to play with a woman a hundred times and not feel something. I have hugged her and told her I love her. The word love needs to be divided into at least a dozen sub-categories in my opinion. Of course I don't love her the same as my wife, or my mom, or a nice motorcycle, or chocolate cake, or riding in a convertible, or summer vacation, or. . . . . . . you get the idea. My wife and I are 40 years old and have been together 25 of those years. The thought of reserving something just for us never crossed our minds. I suppose we have such a sense of comfort with each other that sharing something physical with someone else just isn't an issue. Either that, or we are just free-love-hippie-sluts.
  4. I was under the impression that Metrosexual men were heterosexual guys pretending to be homosexual. . .or men just appearing gay to be "in". Not just men who actually care about their appearance.
  5. Avantgarden38 for us has a lot of meaning. "Avant Garden" is an Aerosmith song (we are big fans) and the 38 was our age when we started swinging. Avantgarde is defined as "the leaders in new or unconventional movements" . . .not that we feel we are leaders in swinging in general, but according to society we are at least unconventional. And a garden is a growing thing, which we very much are doing in all this.
  6. For some reason the Saturday Night Live quote; "Jane, you ignorant slut. . . " just popped into my head. Anyway. . . . reasons we don't use condoms. Lack of sensation. Also being a man of 40, I sometimes have erection issues. Stopping to install a condom can cause enough delay to lose and sometimes even keep an erection. We also only swing with one couple at a time (that we go bareback with) but use condoms for the others if the situation should arise (no pun intended). We have a special bond with the condom-less couple and use that as an indicator of something special with them. The wife has a latex sensitivity, we use polyurethane condoms if needed. We know unprotected sex is a risk, but so is driving a car to the store for ice cream. Would you not drive to the parlor for your favorite dip of rocky road for fear of a car wreck? We believe in minimizing our risk, but still try to have as much fun as possible.
  7. Yikes. . . .anyway, We have experienced just about everything posted on this thread. Male performance anxiety is a reality and it doesn't have much to do about attraction or masculinity. Shit happens. The chemical/biological reaction that makes your dick hard sometimes isn't going to happen when a man is nervous. We think a primitive man with a hard dick might have had a difficult time running from predators. . . we are designed ways for reasons. A sensitive swing partner is one that makes their partner comfortable. Swinging isn't just about fucking, it's about making people feel good and feeling good about yourself in the process.
  8. We often encounter hesitation with different comfort levels such as kissing, same room, bisexuality, anal sex, condoms to name a few. Some are easy to understand and others are not. We personally can't understand how one could be comfortable with sex, yet not comfortable with a kiss. Even just a closed-mouth kiss. We have been with couples that wouldn't kiss and it was very uncomfortable. Kissing for us is both a fire-starter and a segue into other adventures. When we make rules for ourselves we always ask "why are we making this rule" and "what is the worst that might happen if we didn't have it". Many times we found our rules were just foolish and dropped them. Just because we share something with someone else (like a kiss), certainly doesn't detract from what it means to us. We don't feel the need to "save something special", because what we have is already so special. When we are spending time with our swing partners we want to be able to give it 100% and make the most of a unique experience.
  9. If the wife and I feel the mood we rarely let her flow stand in the way. Oral as well. . . with a tampon inserted. We never thought much about "period sex" until we met our regular swing couple. They both were not into much sexual activity during her period and they were surprised that we continued our sexual activities as usual. We talked about it a bit with them and I mentioned to my swing partner that I would be comfortable with her during her period if she was comfortable as well. My wife did the same with the male of our couple. We finally got a chance to try it together as a swing couple and everything went great. We showed them how to deal with the potential mess and get over the initial misgivings. Now they don't let the flow get in their way, or get in the way of our swing activities as a group. Amazing what you can learn from the right swing partners, isn't it!
  10. We belive in God as do most of the swingers we know. Here are some recent quotes from our last meeting: "Oh my god, it's so big!" "god this feels good!" "O god. . . .oh god . . . oh, god . . . .oh, GOD!!" "god. . . you came a lot!" "This is so hot, god, I can't believe it!" "Oh god, I'm cumming . . . .again!" "god. . .I'm exhausted!"
  11. We'll agree that swinger sex is different than sex with your spouse. We can't say it is better or worse as they are both enjoyable but different. We enjoy the blend of the two. We think sex is more comfortable with your spouse and the emotion behind the sex is much different. But 25 years of sexual familiarity leads to loss of excitement. Actually, we read a study that showed that loss can happen four to seven years into the marriage and is quite common. Swinging can restore that excitement and carry across into your married sex. As for performance, we always give 100% of what we can to our new partners as we do for each other. Just because we share something with someone else doesn't make it less special to us. We only see our swinger friends for a short time, so why not get the most out of it. After they go home we always fuck each other like crazy anyway. . .
  12. It is the relationships and emotions that make us human. We like to have sex with "people", not just bodies. Just having sex with another for the sheer sake of something new doesn't do it for us. We'll just fuck each other if we want really hot sex, why even introduce the risk of another body? We aren't afraid of building a strong relationship with other people. We are soulmates together for 25 years and nothing can touch that, ever. In our opinion (repeat. . .our opinion), couples who don't want an emotional relationship with their swinger friends either fear the relationship, have hidden insecurities about themselves or their partner, or just don't want to spend the time it takes to nurture and develop a relationship. That is all okay if it works for them, we just aren't attracted to anyone who just wants to fuck us and not know who we really are as people. We think it is very enjoyable to experience the emotions of having a boyfriend or girlfriend. It is very special to us. And the comfort, passion and sex seems to improve for us as the relationship grows. But, to each his own.
  13. Good question. We guess we hadn't thought about the fundamental benefits of swinging. The initial reason was just pure sexual desire for something new and exciting. But then we noticed many other benefits. Swinging is a very social activity, it is fun to meet others on a totally adult level and all share the excitement of what might happen. Not just the sex part, but the communication and dating is a blast. We prepare for hours sometimes to get ready for a date. . . personal grooming. . . what to wear? We help each other with these things, even "practice" different sexual ideas on each other to see how they might work or feel. We help each other with suggestions on how to relate to our new friends. Our communication skills have grown even stronger than they were before. Swinging for us is truly a team effort. Sex with new people that you really like is just too much fun. Add into that a group situation and the results can provide topics of conversation for weeks. Beats talking about the news. The boost to the ego can also be amazing, as well as the sex drive. Our favorite thing about actually swinging is the development of our relationships with our swinger friends. We like to form lasting bonds when we can and the evolution of those friendships can be very rewarding and exciting.
  14. Ahhhhhh. . . .the "L" word. We as swingers seem to fear that word as it relates to our playmates. I wish it had more than one definition. Or perhaps different words to describe different levels of love. I think it depends on one's comfort level. We have never loved a swing partner as much as we love each other as husband and wife, but we have loved them as people. We prefer it that way if we can find it and develop it into that type of relationship. The best sex for us is having sex with people we truly care about. Would we want a playmate we love as a spouse? Of course not. We have experienced the sex-only relationships, the friends-and-sex relationships and the "love"-sex relationships. We prefer the emotions as well as the sex. Why wouldn't you want your sex partner to love you, too? Love handled properly isn't a threat. It is what makes us different from just animals having sex. (Although that can be good also:) )
  15. We commonly feel a bit paranoid that people know we are swinging. We feel it mostly in public with our swinger friends. But you know what? Nobody knows. If you have friends why would you need to explain how or why you know them. Friends are friends and we offer no explaination for how we met or for what purpose. Our rule is we never tell non-swingers that we swing. Period.
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