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JandCMI

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  • Content Count

    102
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About JandCMI

  • Rank
    100 Posts Club
  • Birthday 01/01/1969

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Male half of couple
  • Location
    Detroit, Michigan
  • Swinging Experience
    Trying (unsucessfully) for 8 years

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    jandcmi28
  • Favorite Club(s)
    Walkers
  1. We had always been wallflowers to the point that we usually just avoided the clubs altogether. I can offer you the two things we did that have helped us the most. First, go to clubs with someone you know. That will make ALL the difference in the world for you. Having someone you know with you will make you not only more comfortable and less tense, but also help you meet others that they may know. Second, get some (but not too many) drinks in you. This helps my wife (who is naturally the more outgoing of the two of us) get out and dance. She used to never dance, now she practically grabs random women and pulls them to the dance floor. That's a great way to meet people! Getting more social in club situations isn't easy and doesn't happen overnight. If we can do it, though, anyone in the world can do it.
  2. "Thanks for writing but we're all set for right now. Best of luck!" What this does is say we're not interested without saying anything about WHY we aren't. It doesn't necessarily have to be a compatibility issue; it could be because we already have enough play partners or something totally unrelated. We think this is a really good way to do it.
  3. Try not to let it bother you. Though it's one of the rudest things (in our opinion) that you can do by not replying to a well thought out mail, people do it all the time. Even to couples.
  4. We'd definitely appreciate some feedback on ours if anyone is willing. We don't have too many issues getting responses, but our target audience (see the first paragraph in the first section) seems largely uninterested
  5. We sometimes feel like "why bother?", especially after a particularly painful rejection or string of rejections that begin to impact our self-confidence. But, like idiots, we keep plugging away at it
  6. Bad teeth are a total deal breaker for both of us, too, though she's a little more forgiving than I am about it. And by "bad" I mean brown, broken, massively crooked, or missing.
  7. Would love some feedback on ours: jandcmi28.swinglifestyle.com We've had a mighty rotten string of luck lately (ignored emails, flaky people jerking us around when we're supposed to meet, etc.) so we did a rework of the profile in hopes of improving things.
  8. For us it is absolutely nothing to do with lack of desire or some other real life roadblock. We aren't very outgoing in club situations so we rely on the ad sites which, as most of you probably know, is about as unreliable as it gets. We don't play nearly a fraction as often as we'd like.
  9. It certainly doesn't. But since single men are the most "dispensable" commodity in the swinging world the bad single males get singled out and people are a lot less likely to put up with much bad behavior out of them than they would from couples or females, so it seems. Just sayin...
  10. My wife and I have zero use for single males. I certainly understand what the appeal of single men is for those couples that choose to use them, but that is not for us. We both like women and we would both feel cheated if we played with a single man. It isn't about one of us having fun, it's about both of us having fun. Beyond that, we don't have a very high opinion of single men as a whole. They have no god-given right to be invited into a couple's bedroom. They have no god-given right to be admitted to the clubs at the same price as a couple or single female. They have no god-given right to be allowed onto SLS or any other swinging ad site. It is this attitude that they are entitled to something that makes us take exception to most single men. And as others have said in this thread, there are a few bad apples that ruin it for the bunch. Someone should start a thread where we share single male horror stories.
  11. Thanks for the replies. Honestly, what I had hoped to get across in this post was that flighty people, people who use ignoring as a preferred method of communication and other behaviors in the lifestyle are pissing me off. It was a rant, after all. We've been doing this for almost six years and aren't shocked by this stuff (seeing that it's all happened to us on multiple occasions), but that doesn't mean it still doesn't bother us. My wife and I are a lot different in that she just says "people are dumb" and that's the end of it for her. I, on the other hand, post shit like this on the internet. We are all different from each other and that is just the way I am. I also know that sometimes you have to change your approach when things aren't working. We have changed our approach in the past in the lifestyle and will continue to do so in the future. I certainly hope my post didn't convey the message that we are doing the exact same things over and over again since day one and then sitting here whining when things keep going sour. We aren't. We've had good luck and we've had bad luck (albeit a lot more bad luck than good). But the two bits of advice that I think are worth taking, and that I appreciate being given, are that I need to just chill and enjoy the experiences we have and to stop having such high expectations of others, as well as modifying some of the "angry" language in our profile. You guys are right, after re-reading it myself it does come across kind of pissed off.
  12. Our first two experiences were soft-swap. The advantage, as we saw it at the time, was that if it left us wanting more without feeling jealous, uneasy, etc. afterward then we could go ahead and think about going full-swap. It's sort of like when you move in with someone before you marry them; you want to make sure that it will work out before you go any further. And if it doesn't you can cut your losses and run with minimal damage done. As far as drama goes, I can't imagine how it could cause more than full-swap. A couple that we know is pretty much breaking up because of their swinging shenanigans. They were full-swap and were never soft-swap.
  13. We don't have kids, either. Most of the people with kids we have met generally don't blather on much about them, which is cool with us. I'm starting to get to the age where the little 21 year olds think I'm a creepy old dude (my wife is still in her 20s, though) and yet I still don't find myself attracted to many women in their 40s. I totally understand the whole idea of "swinging limbo"
  14. When I said "courting" and "acting like we are dating", maybe I should have clarified. We aren't in to sitting around four hours drinking beers and yakking and dancing endlessly. We aren't in to acting like we are in 10th grade and have just seen a real pair of tits for the first time. We like conversing with people first and we like to know if we personally and physically find them attractive. We don't require much time to figure out if we are interested but accept that most other people we find ourselves with don't move as fast. Honestly, I'd rather masturbate then have bad swinger sex. That said, when we hit it off "well" with someone else sexually, we want to repeat it with them because we know it was good. We do want sex, primarily, but aren't interested in just doing one-timers with different people (any more than necessary) because, well, that's just no fun to us. And you're probably right. We are probably expecting too much out of the lifestyle.
  15. Thanks And to think I was thinking of getting rid of the dog. We are known by it now!
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