Jump to content

shoreguy

Registered
  • Content Count

    70
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About shoreguy

  • Rank
    Active Contributor
  • Birthday 10/15/1970

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Married Male
  • Location
    Coastal NJ
  • Interests
    hiking, photography, surf fishing
  1. Never in our master bedroom. We have sex with each other between playdates, unless we ever do 2 consecutive days. (most recent rule) We do nothing with others that we don't do together. This doesn't leave a whole hell of a lot outside the normal 3 big NOs: kids, pets, and excrement, but it's there just in case we ever find something. We keep each other aware of contact with others. We've recently dropped the "no singles" from rule to "we'll think about it". We don't agree that you'd get more problems with single men than single women. You might have less to fear about physical violence from women, but we both feel that women are more likely to get clingy than men. Stalking is stalking.
  2. 525... Seems average for the swingers. Wife would blow that one away on same-sex and sub stuff. She's bi and sub and I'm fairly sure she's a switch. Yes, I thought I was too "kinky for most" even before this. But I thought "kinky" was a word used by people who "aren't".
  3. Maybe we're just sluts in NJ. Always seems like there is a lot of sex going on at the on-premise clubs, and I presume it to be mostly swapping. It's usually not just one couple involved. At the meet-n-greets (or off-premise party at a non-lifestyle establishment), there are a lot more newbies showing up. Some don't want to go the whole way on their first night. Not that we haven't played with some newbies after the party was over. Online personals work better for us because there's a lot more info passed in the profile and we seem to make better matches that way. I imagine like anything that it varies from region to region or club to club. But I can assure you, at least around here there is a lot of it happening.
  4. To the best of my knowledge "stunt cock" is a reference from the movie Orgazmo. It was the guy that went in to do the fucking for the closeup shots when the main actor couldn't/wouldn't. (The main character is a Mormon acting in porn movies.) Funny damn movie, I highly recommend it. It's from the South Park guys. Two of the funniest people ever, but not afraid to walk up to the edge and keep going. For miles. I can't see it being used in real porn movie-making. It's not like inability to act keeps you from work. But, who knows.
  5. Cool, "intermarital sex". I think it's just been coined, but I really like it! I'm not even sure the consent part makes it inter vs extra. Would sex with other people in an open marriage be inter or extra? Perhaps Mr. Alura gets to decide since it's his word. Spoo: I think the easiest way to remember the difference is the two examples you just gave. Intramural sports were within the same school. Interstate highways cross state lines...
  6. I wasn't thinking of this when I started the poll, but we once discussed the topic about one particular woman. We think she's bi, and we know she cheated on her husband with another man. It would be tempting, but we'd stay away from a threesome. I'd like to think that the fact that her husband is a cop and therefore has ready access to weapons is not the only reason. The two of them alone was a possibility. Even before swinging she could have sex with any women she wanted to. We don't consider that cheating. However, I'd imagine a lot of couples wouldn't agree with us on that one. Since swinging, we have discussed it a bit. We just don't think it's fair to the other spouse, and frankly we wouldn't want to be in the middle with any violence, possible court appearances in a divorce, etc. As to being in love with someone who "found religion" and won't give you sex: people who are in love do get divorced. There's more to a marriage than love. Maybe it's better to be up front about it and mutually divorce rather than get found out, and have them divorce you, get labelled as a cheater and possibly get the shorter end of the stick in the settlement. But I guess that's a personal decision. People cheat. Flesh is weak and mistakes happen. Alcohol certainly doesn't help. Once you make the decision to go outside of your marriage for sex you've institutionalized it and made it a way of life. It's a big difference.
  7. Satisfy my curiosity: Is there a difference between how cheating married women are viewed versus cheating married men? Consider LTR equal to marriage if you please.
  8. We usually say it's one of my coworkers. The people asking are usually her family, or friends. My coworkers are about 100 miles away so nobody would know any of them. It sort of works, and it's easy to say. Her mother and brother are the nosiest, but it's definitely not a negative thing, they're just very interested. Luckily our friends are used to the fact that we've always had about 3-4 partitions of friends who rarely mix. Now, it's just one more. Now that we've been at it about a year, we're starting to get pretty comfortable with some others knowing. It started with a friend here, a coworker there. Then she told 3 of her college friends. They have a grapevine you wouldn't believe. This weekend will be the first time we've really seen any of them since then. Should be interesting and full of questions. We now have a policy of telling the truth if it's a direct question. Not "what are you doing tonight?", but "do you like girls?" (to her) or "do you guys have sex with other people?". We haven't had the direct question yet, but other people we've told either didn't say much or were very curious and interested. At an event last Friday night in AC, we were in a dance club and all the swingers had wrist bands to help identify ourselves. Two curious strangers walked up and wanted to know what the bands were for. They were pretty insistent. When she told them there was about 20 minutes of questions about the lifestyle. People around our age (late 20s, early 30s) don't seem too freaked out about it even if they don't think they could do it themselves.
  9. Yeah, really. Maybe all the rest of us guys are overthinking the situation. BTW, even though we never had an FMF, I did once of the pleasure of sleeping MFF in a bed. It was one of her close friends, at a shore house with way more people sleeping there than should be so space was at a premium. The above 3 points pretty much guided things and it sure worked for me. Even though I expected nothing to really happen, I was horny all night. And from what was talked about later that week, the friend was as well.
  10. I think only the two (maybe 3) of you can answer this question. What do you feel comfortable with? Could you deal with her in the middle? Are you sure she'll even sleep at the hotel all night? Last month we ended up sleeping at another couple's house, even though we were less than 10 miles away from home. They invited us to stay the night in the play room (mattresses on the floor). We figured they would end up in their room, but instead they slept with us. We ended up him-my wife-her-me. We were both ok with it the next morning. But let's just say no one exactly slept through the night. I'd imagine there'd be some middle of the night messing around, especially if she sleeps in the middle. Even though I'm a guy , my recommendation is to have some combination where the women sleep next to each other. Maybe it's just best to have husband-wife-friend at least until you're comfortable with the whole thing.
  11. I'm not even sure how much it's "couple-to-couple" vs. the many other variations possible. It certainly seems that straight females are in a very small minority. Mostly we play with one other couple at a time, and the girls always play together. It's the big attraction to swinging for many women. If she can bring herself to do it, you could try a couple with a bi female. I don't think any would do anything to make her uncomfortable. Also, maybe you need to be more proactive and send responses to other ads. I can imagine many couples with bi females passing an ad by because she's straight, but might be willing to meet if you asked. Many would say no, but that has to be one of the easiest reasons to accept a rejection. It's not like there's anything wrong with you, she's just not into girls. Obviously, read the ads to make sure you don't send messages to people who explicitly state they aren't interested in straight women.
  12. Don't worry MattMan, as the map shows, only hick yankees call it "pop". Those of us in the more populated, eastern areas call it soda. All those midwesterners call it pop. Coke is a brand name. When I ask for Coke, I want Coca-Cola, damnit. If I wanted a Pepsi, I'd have asked for crap in a glass.
  13. Wow... a Swinger's Amusement park... In my wife's words: FUNNNNN!!!!! Screw the mystique, this would make 1.5 hour ride lines worth it.
  14. Receptive anal sex is just plain more dangerous than any other sex, at least with respect to HIV risk. There was a time when we discussed making it off limits for her with other men. We never made it a rule. It has happened at least once. I'm the only one that gets unprotected access. I don't think anyone is considering it more risky just because of orientation, just that the entire group of 'gay men + bisexual men' is more risky because of the higher incidence of anal sex within that group and the larger percentage of HIV+ individuals in it. Personally, we felt the risk was acceptable within the lifestyle, even considering the likelihood of bi men on the down low. Once again, I don't think lifestyle-oral-bi men are really much of a risk. Maybe a couple more chances in a million than anyone else we meet. On the other hand, I'm not exactly convinced that there is a huge behavioral difference between gay and bisexual men in general. I'm certainly not well-acquainted with that group. But they aren't the direct concern in my life, only those in the lifestyle, who for the most part seem to not be into anal sex with other men.
  15. Nowhere in the report does it say that. Of course, the only mention of bisexual men is in hetero transmission to females, but the report clearly refers to "male-to-male sexual contact". It does not say homosexual or gay anywhere. Not trying to start a flame war here, but stating that the statistics are about gay men without providing a reference from the CDC is as bad as stating the statistics exist without providing a reference from the CDC. I'm specifically looking at tables 16 and 17. The tables are full of notes describing the groups in more detail, but none on that section to say it's about gay men. "Little is known about the population segment" does not necessarily have any affect on those stats or the real risks. I'm not sure it matters, and I'll take it to mean "male-to-male sexual contact" rather than "gay male sexual contact" until I see something from the CDC that says otherwise. I take it to mean they don't record that tangential statistic, in favor of the relevant act. Especially in light of potential bias healthcare and public health professionals might have against men who engage in homosexual sex. I'm sure HIV doesn't discriminate against gay men vs bi men. The issue comes down to 1) do they engage in the high risk activities (anal sex) and 2) do they generally participate with the same community as gay men (still the largest group of HIV+ individuals in the US). Regarding 1 sure, I'll give you that one. I'd accept that to be true for a large portion of bi men. Actual breakdown? I couldn't begin to guess. For 2, good luck. There's likely a lot of it for some, very little for others. Those bi-men who don't practice anal sex with men and stay completely within the lifestyle are probably as safe as lifestylers in general. Rereading this, I realize I might be coming off kind of harsh. I mean no disrespect to anyone, and I am not a homophobe. We have plenty of gay male friends outside the lifestyle. I just wouldn't fuck them. This isn't about what I think about people, this is about finding and interpreting some statistics. The question *was* about providing statistics about bi-men and AIDS risks. There apparently aren't good ones. However, bi-men fit quite easily into the group "those who participate in male-to-male sexual contact", and there are statistics on that. No, it doesn't correspond perfectly.
×
×
  • Create New...