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MrsO

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  • Content Count

    16
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About MrsO

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 09/24/1951

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    M. Female
  • Location
    Butler
  • Anniversary
    05/01/1982
  1. Well, I'll throw my hat into this discussion. My husband wants us to create a third profile because, as some people here have figured out, new profiles get more immediately noticed than old, stale ones. But here's another reason: creating a new profile with different descriptions might men you'll get to meet people you may have contacted previously who, for whatever reason, "rejected" you. Maybe age. weight. preferences. etc. We (and I use that term loosely) have been in initial contact with almost 300 couples/singles in 3 years. Met almost 40. "Played" with 5. I don't like the dishonesty or manipulation either. Those of you who used the term "desperation," are not too far off. He has a need to control and this is his way of controlling the odds. So, in the newest profile, I'll be described as bi-curious instead of straight (since it seems like most couples are looking for that); we'll be wild instead of moderate; new pictures will be posted. I feel like I'm on a runaway train and can't get off.
  2. We have met couples, too who were clearly 10 years older than what their profile said. Perhaps both of you are right, GoldCoCouple and Softtaild7, if people "fib" about their age, what else are they "fibbing" about? Sometimes, me thinks people try too hard in their profiles, especially when they say they have the most fabulous marriage ever, best sex life ever, all they want to do is spice things up a bit. I don't get it - if the recipe is five stars and tastes great, then why mess it up by adding other ingredients? In our case, not only is the age "stretched," but we try to act as if our marriage is solid. It's not. MrO is convinced that swinging will make everything better, even though everywhere you read and marriage counselors say it won't. A sad state of affairs . . . (no pun intended)
  3. Interesting discussion. We've met a fair number of people who are clearly not the age they post. In our case, my husband purposely describes us as younger because he thinks no one will be interested in us if we post our real ages - especially me. I'm 63, he's 59. He has us listed as 59 and 58. I don't like the deceit, but I don't dare challenge.
  4. Thank you, Mauijanedoe! You've been a wonderful resource and source of encouragement! I'll check out the website.
  5. Is there any other reason that you're dragging your feet other than you have a low libido, or is it the complexities of swinging in general? You're pretty perceptive, LFM2! The complexities scare me a lot! As far as the low libido, rx HRTs make me really nervous (side effects), so, something natural would be better. That said, a lot of this is in the head. Does he offer any fantasies for sharing with you? Is his mind conjuring up a different woman every night? He shares all kinds of fantasies with me - they all involve him watching me with other people. He has said he's not especially interested in himself being with other women, he wants to watch me. When I've said I want to be with only him, he responds with that doesn't work for him. When I've agreed to go to clubs with him, he has said there's no point in going if I don't engage other partners - he's not paying to go if I don't "do" anything. I've read so many posts on this website and profiles on SLS where couples say they are so in love with each other and won't do anything that each other isn't comfortable with. I'm trying to not be a rigid prude, but I have boundaries that I'm feeling confused and guilty about. One day I say to myself "Get over it and just do it" and then the next day I'll say "But I can't." Needleless to say, the seesaw effect is driving us both crazy. Yes, we have been to counseling. It wasn't very helpful. I'm open to any and all suggestions!
  6. LFM2, he does not share a profile with me here and if he has one of his own here, I don't know about it.
  7. Well, BiloxiCouple, that's a wonderful idea, but he's telling me that it's my responsibility and I have to fix the problem and it has nothing to do with him.
  8. Are there any good books/resources to read that enlighten or educate you about the lifestyle and/or ideas for increasing desire? Thanks in advance!
  9. Wow! What great responses! You all have given me some ideas that I will try. I am very nervous about hormone replacement therapy - "female" cancers scare the beejeebers out of me! If I could find something "natural," that would be the way to go. I do use Premarin cream, but that doesn't affect libido, at least not mine. Some of you have hinted at (without knowing it) that relationship issues may be a factor, too. I come from a pretty "religious" background and so swinging, although obviously many people enjoy it, well, I'm having a hard time getting into it. I hope more people respond with more suggestions. I have read all your posts with great interest.
  10. Hi! I'm new to this website and I'm here because my husband wants to get into swinging and I'm dragging my feet. I have read a lot of posts on a variety of topics and I'm impressed . . . and overwhelmed . . . . with all the responses. So many are well thought-out and sincere. I have a very low libido/desire for sex, am 61, and married for 30 years. My husband is of the opinion that if I have sex with other men my sex drive will increase. He wants me to be a "sexual animal" who will want/enjoy/crave sex. My question is, do any of you have suggestions/advice/ideas for how I can increase my libido? Thanks for your help!
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