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DiscreetDesires

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DiscreetDesires last won the day on April 28 2010

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About DiscreetDesires

  • Rank
    100 Posts Club
  • Birthday 12/20/1977

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Married Couple
  • Location
    Houston, Texas
  • Swinging Experience
    2 years together and 8 the female half has been in the lifestyle for 8yrs

Swinger Info

  • Favorite Club(s)
    The Mystery Zone

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  1. Pictures on SLS, we keep our faces hidden but our profile lists that we have pics to share. On other swinger sites, we are open about who we are because they have different restrictions to those who can view. SLS is just a bit too public of a site for us to have face shots up for the general public, and since we don't generally meet the most of people from that site, we do not see the need to have a paying membership.. hence we cannot store private photos. When we do see pics of a couple on a profile, we like to see both clothed and unclothed. The unclothed isn't that big of an issue really, but we do not care for all the "Here I am all wide and open" shots. Not that there is really anything bad about it, we just do not care for those type of shots. A little left to the imagination is always a good thing!
  2. Thank you! I'd rather think about them beforehand, than to worry about it afterwards!
  3. Sure it's normal to want to watch via whatever means. I wouldn't suggest not letting the guy know. That is wrong on sooo many levels! How would you feel if you found out that was done to you? That is a HUGE violation of privacy, and I wouldn't be surprised if one day the guy happened to find out that he was lied to and come back to kick your butt. Trust and Honesty.. live AND swing by it! I can understand your reasoning (most likely) behind it, in that you wouldn't want the guy to be acting just because he knows you are watching.. I get that. Maybe after meeting with a guy and you and your wife deciding on a partner, it could be discussed that this is a fantasy of yours. From there, if he agrees, maybe it could be something that you tell him that he "could" be filmed, but do not want to tell him when because you want to get that 'naturalness' of the moment and not an act. But I definitely would not do it without the man having prior knowledge or giving consent.
  4. It is great that he did think about it before fully jumping in. It's never a good thing to have the second thoughts after the fact, knowing that you can't take back what happened. Don't think that taking things slowly is a bad thing. It's actually a very good thing for you both to have time to communicate with each other and think things through fully. The first time you do get out to a lifestyle club or event, set a guideline that there will be no play beyond yourselves as a couple and just enjoy the environment to see if it's something that you both can see yourselves being a part of.
  5. Do you consider yourself straight-selective? This is one part of those "varying levels" that I just do not agree with. I am fully bisexual, meaning that I enjoy sexual encounters and relationships with both men and women, but there still needs to be an attraction there with either gender. I would never be sexual with someone that I am not attracted to. That is why I think it's funny when people say they are 'bi-selective". To me, it just doesn't make any sense. To me (and I may get some flack on this, but it is just my opinion and is really only worth the credit that I give it), there is Straight, Bisexual and Gay. Whether or not you enjoy certain activities or enjoy a relationship is really a moot point. Not all straight women enjoy having sex, being gone down on, giving head, or even like being in a relationship. Does it make them any less straight? Nope. It just means that they don't enjoy certain things. I do agree though, that when it comes to the lifestyle, any information pertaining to things that you enjoy doing, or not doing, should definitely be discussed with any potential play partners.
  6. I'm with everyone else! I don't see how not being sexually attracted to someone is racism. Would I call you anti-gay/prejudice/homophobe just because you are not sexually attracted to your own gender? Nope! Being attracted to someone is just not as simple as that.
  7. I would probably hold out on any seperate swinging until you both are able to do an actual full swap together. Possibly waiting until you are able to live in the same home. Neither one of you will know what your reaction to this will be, and with you being 4 hours apart from each other, this could possibly end up badly. I'd say hold out on it for a bit and if it's still something that you both would like to try after being in the lifestyle for a bit, then go for it!
  8. This particular topic is what brought hubby and myself to learn about this site and was glad to have found a home here where no question was "too taboo" to ask. We had posed the question on one of the sites that we are members of, and the question didn't go so well. (No one wants to think about it) I searched the internet in regards to that, and it led me here. We approach each and every aspect of the lifestyle with each other and talk throughly about things that could happen before they ever become a possibility. Hubby is V-safe, while I am still very fertile.. so it's a definite possibility with us. Neither of us would want to raise another man's baby while bringing drama into our personal lives with our family because he has had a vasectomy. When we are closer to reaching a full swap status, I am sure that we will discuss this further, but for now it has been left in the file cabinet. We know that we have a few possibilities being (all including condom usage): (a) Only playing with couples where the man is V safe, (b) not playing during my highest level of fertility, © If anything is suspected.. using a morning after pill, (d) finding a BC pill that would work for me, and (e) getting sterilized myself. Neither of us feels right about going the abortion route. While it may be a good option for others, it would not be for us.
  9. No advice, and I've never really heard of it, but it does sound intriguing!
  10. We have posted on CL and replied to ads as well. It just really got too frustrating as 98% of the ads are not from real people, but from sites looking for those desperate lonely people who are gullible enough to fall for the, "I don't like giving my picture out on the web, but you can go and look at my profile on this site HERE" bullshit. We have talked with a few, but only met one in real life and we are still friends today. If you've got a ton of time on your hands, and are willing to weed out all the mess, then that is the only way that it would be worth it to me.
  11. Ok MissKay.. I agree with you on that. There will be times when hubby and I will get on a roll of laughter in bed because of the funny sounds, and we can easily get back to business afterwards without a problem. He said that he does enjoy the sensation down below when I laugh. It's like the sensation of me having an orgasm.. or close to it, with the tightening of the muscles very rapidly. I can definitely see his point on that one.
  12. Sounds like you both had a wonderful first time. Congrats to you both, and hopefully every encounter afterwards will be just as fun!!
  13. Reverse racism? I looked up the definition, and it says racism against the majority. Is it this bad to where we have to have a definition for every little thing now a days?! To me, racism is racism.. it doesn't matter which race you are, or which race it is being discriminated against. If I would logically look at the word reverse racism, I would think that it is going in the opposite direction of racism.. which is a good thing. LoL.. guess it shows what I know. Racism does exist in the lifestyle and outside, but this particular scenario does not appear to be racism to me.
  14. I don't think this is necessarily racism. You mention that there were other white men attending both parties, correct? Well.. then it's not racism. Maybe there was something particular about you as a person that they did not find attractive or even some kind of vibe you were giving off. Are these your only experiences in 5 years? These situations happened 4 years ago, and maybe it's time you move past them. I'm not trying to be mean here, but sometimes people can hold onto negativity for way too long. This should be something to learn from and then take with you. If you know that you will be hurt to some degree if your woman plays, and you do not get to, maybe y'all should only play together. If your lady was completely uninterested in playing with you, then y'all should have left the party right then and there. That would need to be discussed! You both are each others' first and foremost and it should always be that way. I would NEVER think of shutting down and being uninterested in sex w/my hubby just to turn around and say that I wanted to have sex with someone else. Why did you both come so close to breaking up? Was it because you weren't having fun, but she was? Again.. this would lead me to think again, that you should both stick to playing together. Was there a reason that you could not join in on the fun she was having in the dark room? I am sorry about this, but I also have to agree with the hostess about the drama. I don't know about the lip biting part, but from what you describe, you paint yourself as the guy sitting in the corner fuming because your lady is having sex with others, but you aren't and then when you've finally gotten upset enough, you find her to demand that you both leave. This does sound like drama to me. You both need to talk it out and avoid situations like this in the future.
  15. Sounds like you've made a good decision Marcuss! Welcome to board and have fun on your journey together!!
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