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nllswing

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About nllswing

  • Rank
    Active Contributor
  • Birthday 12/24/1974

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    CT
  • Interests
    Wear your new clothes; fuck your new friends.

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    nllswing
  • Favorite Club(s)
    Caliente, Tampa
  1. The intellectual You need at least two of them in order to notice. They start talking with each other, one subject after another, and the hours pass by unnoticed. Eventually, somebody gets veyr tired and sleepy and it is time to call it a day and go home. They leave the party without having played, but possibly having made a new friend. Play usually occurs on a later date.
  2. 4) My life is a train wreck already, fuck it, let me drink, I don't care. And when I am drunk I do really stupid things. That was was, unfortunately, witnessed.
  3. Thought #1: Stay sober! Thought #2: When in doubt, see Thought #1. Joke aside, even more "experienced" couples can bring lots of drama when they sober up. Having consent retroactively withdrawn is one of the worst things that can happen to a couple after play. You suddenly learn that "she was not all that OK with her guy penetrating the other woman." It is sad that some people need to drink in order to justify their guilt feelings: "I usually don't fuck around, but I was soooooo drunk yesterdaaaaaay," i.e. "I am not a slut."
  4. Rejection hurts. A lot! At least for most people. It is natural, and as Fundamental Law pointed above, having a good perspective helps. Here are couple of examples of what happened to us within last week. I will use first person for the parts that involve strictly my experiences. 1. We met a couple during the day and the guy wore a swinger's pin on his hat. This was the most overt statement I have seen in a while. We approached them, chatted a bit about the lifestyle, and before parting I asked them about their SLS handle. At home, I looked them up and from their description I figured out that we were not going to be a match (they were looking for F/F play only or a single F for him). In any case, I wrote to them to say "hi." A couple of days later, the reply came as in "it was fun talking to you, buy play won't happen." Even though I knew that this was the only answer that made sense, I still felt upset and even a bit hurt. Only after thinking it through, I realized that it was for the better. 2. We are frequenting a summer nudist campground where many people play. We are still new there (several visits for 2 months) and haven't received the tour to all lifestyle couples. Saturday evening, I passed by one of the campers nearby and saw that three couples we knew were going to have dinner together and were preparing to do it in a camper at the other end of the campground. I stopped nearby to chat with a friend who was having a drink. During that time, I saw one guy rubbing his cock against the ass of a woman from a different couple. Another sucked heavily on some nipples, there was ass spanking, lots of laughing, and other foreplay. My playdar went nuts. As they made their way to the camper where they were going to have their dinner, my friend mentioned that the there couples were swingers, while he and his wife were not, and that he did not judge people based on swinging. He shared that when he has dinner with them, he stays until play begins, and than goes back to his place. There are few words that can explain how I felt at the moment. Sweetie and I have been several times already to this place and made lots of signals that we were not vanilla. And then suddenly, I see bunch of people whom I knew at least somewhat, were going to play and we were not invited. I felt sick, almost like a little kid who was left behind while all other kids were out having fun. Even then I knew that my feelings were irrational. These people did not know that we would be there (we had arrived five hours earlier). They knew each other for years, and have known the newest couple since last year. Also, I knew that even if they were swingers, that still didn't mean that they would want to play with us. Before they left, I tried to say "hi" and check the mood, but they were quite busy in their preparations and with each other, so I backed out and left them alone. My wife was not with me because she was doing some work in the unit we had rented for the weekend. Ten minutes later, having my wife in my arms, I was telling her how "everyone around plays except us!" Feelings are real, and there are there, regardless of whether they are rational or whether we are justified to have them. As such, feeling must be addressed. After that the night didn't go bad. We had some dance, of the kind you have when lots of naked people are put together. Next day we had a nice chat with some of the old-timers, getting to know each other better. Will be back there in a week . . .
  5. Pool crab No matter whether you visit the conversation pool in the morning, the afternoon, or in the evening, he is always there - the pool crab. This is a single older guy who, although not intrusive, is always ready to chat with you, whether single or a couple. He looks non-threatening, almost harmless, and often has a good sense of humor. As a result, he gets laid often enough to be motivated to keep hanging at the pool.
  6. I was thinking of writing a long and derailed review of our stay at Caliente but now I think that that I should just address the points I found most interesting. Caliente is currently a “clothes optional” resort, which means that nudity is not mandatory, except in a few areas, including the swimming pools. Caliente is a mix of a typical resort and a condominium association. There are large single family homes belonging to people who live full time at the resort, there are town houses and ordinary condos, also owned by full time owners, there are casitas, and finally, there are some hotel rooms. Accordingly, you will find a mix of people there - locals who live either full time at the resort or are “snow birds,” - locals who live outside Caliente but visit occasionally for the events, and - visitors, who to there for a few days, like Sweetie and I. Talking to some of the old-time residents shows that Caliente started as a “traditional” nudist or naturalist resort, which later started catering to “swingers.” Some of the initial residents were so dissatisfied with the change that they sold their properties and moved out. During our visit we saw no children, and the adults were in various stages of nudity. We saw very few single men. Contrary to some reviews, not all women were size zero. There were folks from all sizes and shapes, with the fit and better looking people being of a larger percentage. On some Thursdays there is a “singles” night, when singles from the are arrive to Caliente and gather to socialize around the swimming pools. This is not an event aiming for helping folk find a marriage partner. It is more of a social group. On Thursday evening, we were at the pool and several folks talked with us. One lady, 30-something had invited four male friends for something, which did not become clear. Another lady, liked us so much that we met on the next day. Thursday also has the “ladies night” which means free drinks for the ladies. The dance club was packed with folks of various degree of nudity. The dance starts around 8-9 PM and goes to after midnight. Women from the crowd were trying their pole-dancing skills on the three poles on the dance floor. We saw no sexual activity on the dance floor. We spent some time at the club, danced a bit and then went to the heated swimming pools, where we expected to a wild orgy, as presented in some reviews. Well, we didn’t find a party like that in “Eyes wide shut.” A couple was having sex by the pool and several women were giving blowjobs to their men in the hot tub. These all appeared to be existing couples and we saw no partner-swapping. On Friday the weather got cold. Quite cold for Florida in that part of the year. Optimistic from what we saw on Thursday, we expected that Friday night would be packed nevertheless, and that that “Eyes wide shut”-type of party may ensue. Carried away with other things, we forgot about the meet and greet that occurs every Friday between 5-8PM in the bar right after the entrance. When we visited the dance club that night, we were surprised to see how few couples were there. A couple told that this was “the slowest Friday” that have ever seen. Another couple of frequent visitors told us that the party on Friday is in the nearby resort “Paradise Lakes.” Well, this is a surprise. Lesson learned: have a car. In Caliente you have the option to have the rental car parked fro you in front of your unit. After the club we moved to the pool area. The air was cool, almost making it uncomfortable to stay nude. People hopped between the heated pools to stay warm. People were chatting in the pools and later several women gave blow jobs to their men, again no partner swapping. Saturday was the coldest day of all. Local folks were shaking heads with disbelief. We had planned from earlier days to meet newly-made friends so we kept busy for most of the day. There was some crowd at the dance club in the evening, but nothing special. Sunday was our last full day at Caliente. Expecting that there would be no late night activity (no dance night and many visitors leaving by the mid afternoon) we planned to take is easy and hang around the pool. This is the first time we tried the main swimming pool and found our that it was unheated, and too cold to have fun there. Right after lunch we discovered that there was yet another heated “conversation pool” and dipped in after we saw one of our friends there. Some time later a nearby couple got into conversation with us and after a while some mild play began. Then they suggested that we all move to the other conversation pool. After moving to the new pool and having more chat we were about to resume our cautious play. Then they said that they were going to get drinks from the bar and meet us at the previous pool in fifteen minutes. Later, my wife and I talked that probably the woman was not that interested in me, but was taking one for the team, because the husband was interested in my wife. However, we can’t tell for sure. As they were leaving, a pretty 20-sometiong stopped on pavement across the pool. Without much thinking I said out loud “Wow! She is beautiful!” mostly to myself. Then it happened. Apparently my exclamation was heard by others, because as I moved my eyes away from the 20-something beauty, I saw a woman in the pool who was looking at me. She was right up to my taste. She smiled and made a move forward to introduce herself. After less than 20 seconds we were already making out. My wife, I, the woman and her friend spent the next three hours completely oblivious about the world around us. This was in the mid-afternoon, and although nothing beyond kissing and petting took place, the next three hours were my most exciting for this vacation. Needless to say, we did not make it in 15 minutes to the other pool where the first couple was. At some point I saw with my peripheral vision that the husband had come again to our pool, but I was preoccupied with caressing what was sitting on my lap. I felt bad but there was nothing to do, being between a rock and a hard place. It appears that if you are interested in a couple and there is a response, go for it! Don’t goof around because this game is “now or never” when it involves visitors at a resort. Too much excitement to sleep that night. Today we travelled back, constantly thinking about this being the most fun and sexiest vacation we have had as a couple. Few other points: The staff, including waiters and shuttle drivers was extremely friendly and willing to help. I have never seen such willingness to please the customer. The price of the trip (plane tickets from NYC, four days in a casita, daily membership fee, and food) came about $2,500, give or take. We ate out almost all the time but drank almost no alcohol. The casitas are actually single-wide trailers with water and A/C. Ours was fine and did the job for a few days. There are people who live in the casitas year-round. There are grocery stores nearby and having a car/preparing food at home is a feasible option when the stay is longer. Conclusion: so far, based on our experience, the swimming pools are the place to meet friends and play-partners, beating other venues by large margin. Hang at the pool!
  7. Good luck with your relationships, JW6145 If all four of you handle the situation tight, Becca and you can have wonderful "us" time, while you still remain happily married. I saw this trend late and most of what could have been said is already said. One thing you may want to look up is "NRE" or New Relationship Energy. It is that wonderful feeling that we, humans, have when we get involved with a new partner. It is like a phase that eventually passes. Sometimes become too carried away and forget to use their best judgment. Just be aware of the NRE and think twice before you "cut" anything.
  8. The question is not very helpful because there is a huge variety of open marriages. Regardless the flavor, however, an open relationship agreement is a very powerful tool that requires skilled users. My wife and I have an open agreement in the last few years. I believe that, like in science, the correct answer to very complex problems is often elegant and simple. In our case, I envision my time as comprising three separate parts: work time, family time, and "me time." I choose how to spend the "me time" (when available) and may use some fraction of it on meeting others. Whatever happens in "my me time," cannot encroach on the other commitments. Not all families are strictly centered around similar tastes, the house, kids, and the mortgage. Sometime, people live apart during the week for work-related reasons. Yet sometimes, married couples have quite different sexual fetishes. Different solutions for different situations. \
  9. Thank you LM, I appreciate your help and let's hope that somebody will chime in.
  10. Lisa Marie and Michael, Thank you for the constructive criticism. We updated our ad following some of your suggestions. Happy New Year everybody.
  11. Thank you Michael, I appreciate your thoughts. The purpose of putting an ad in SWS is to meet a couple as a couple. I will take the out the single part. I had it there in case someone is interested because some of our tastes differ and will be hard to get "everything" from the same couple. I find older partners very exciting, while she does not. I am a bit surprised with the "other half" issue. Referring to one's significant other as "my other half" seems so common here. Again, thank you for the comments. I just wish we did not scare too many people away already.
  12. Hi, We put a profile (nllswing) at Swing Lifestyle a week or so ago. Any advice will be appreciated.
  13. Family is like a business partnership, except that more than just money is at stake. You should decide things together. It is not that uncommon for a marriage to face new issues as the years pass by. Having a libido difference emerge over the years, is something the two of you can decide how to deal with it if you plan to stay together. There is a book called "Opening Up" by Tristan Taormino. Get a copy and talk with your wife. In all cases, you need openness and communication. These are prerequisites for handling situations like this. Finally, there are many swinging couples (if you read the board) who have started the discussion of swinging with one being opposed to it. Good luck to both of you.
  14. Thank you all, people for the helpful responses. From what I read on this topic and from what I observed so far, I think that it was a mistake to write in my ad in a nonswinger dating site that I was married and had permission. It seems to scare a lot of people away right off the bat. Maybe it is better to have it off and disclose it a bit later, after it is more clear that the other side is interested.
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