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tankman101

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    17
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15 Good

About tankman101

  • Rank
    Contributor
  • Birthday 05/22/1968

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Tira's Man
  • Location
    New York
  1. IMHO, it has to do with the fact that most swingers want to be discreet because it has massive social consequences. Swinging is no where near being socially accepted and many people fear reprisal and harassment. Not everyone but a good majority. For military folks it's even worse as charges can be filed against you if you are found out. Swinging is pretty much open to discrimination and persecution. So unlike the homosexual community who is fighting for equality and acceptance (and slowly gaining ground) swingers enjoy no such movement and protections so most chose to remain discreet.
  2. IMHO that all depends, If I haven't had an orgasm in a few days, I'm only good for the 5-10 minute range. Now thats not a problem with me and the miss because we know how to push each others buttons and we both walk away satisfied. If we are meeting another couple, I have an issue (or fear) of "cumming to quickly" for my playmate. My wife thinks its silly but I don't want to be the guy who sticks in for a few minutes then its all over. So when we make a playdate, we have sex every night for 3 to 4 nights before. Then when we meet our friends, I put on a condom then I can last about on hour of penetration alone (not counting fourplay) There have been a few times I have thought to myself that maybe I'm over doing it...but no one has complained yet. (I suspect the other male halves we play with are doing something similar because no one is cumming in under half an hour. We play with 3 other couples on a somewhat regular basis - not all at the same lol, I wish...all separate unfortunately but we get a different flavor roughly every month sometime a little longer) The way I feel about it is this. When I am with playmates, it is about the sex so yes, it needs to be out of the ordinary. It varies from time to time but I really try to last as long as possible. The only real problem I have with this is that I am only good for one orgasm but at that point we have usually been going for a couple of hours so everyone is generally "done" and worn out. (ps - I would encourage males to "hit the gym" in order to get the rest of your body up to speed, an hour of straight pumping is not an easy thing to do if you are out of shape. I'm 40 so being in good physical shape is important anyway. All of your partners will love ya for it! I'm 210lbs and 16% body fat, nothing delights a female peer playmate then a guy who takes good care of himself and looks good without a shirt at our age...and can fuck her for an hour! Trust me on that.)
  3. Your going to have to give people a little more info to work with. How the heck should we know? What have you done? Whats your relationship like? What does she say then you bring it up?
  4. Well JD let me say this, I was in your shoes. I wasn't the one who initiated the swinging idea and I had a lot of reservations. So, set up your ground rules. They are very important starting out. If you are not "ok" with kissing,then agree not to do it. That may change in the future. Now, I feel something is missing without it and its something that can turn us off to a couple who doesn't want too. (Bar maybe someone new to swinging) I had a great time 2 weekends ago with a new couple and it was a ton of fun. Baby steps. First, if this is something you really want to get into, get your feet wet. Start as slow as you want and see how it goes. Sex with new couples is a HUGE decision. You can always change your ground rules as you become more comfortable. Make sure the people you start out with are people you LIKE and enjoy being with. Don't just hop in the sack with the first yahoo who says "yes". Have fun
  5. Forgive, but I'm puzzled with that percentage chance. How do you arrive at 50 -80%???
  6. I use to drive tanks, I'm a male and 101 is random. Clever wasn't it?
  7. 1. Who initiated the conversation? My wife (tira) 2. What reason(s) were given for wanting to swing? Basically, sexual exploration. Before we got married, I had several other relationships but I was the first my wife had ever been with. 3. Were those reason(s) TOTALLY honest? (i.e. it was for "her" fantasy when really and truly it was his) Yes 4. What was the initial reaction of the s/o? I blew my stack. I didn't really understand why she would suggest that. I didn't really know anything about swinging. We have been happily married for 15 years with 3 kids and an active sex life. I am very sexually driven and fairly open minded and once talked about it and I researched it, I understood what it was actually about. I had to face some very ugly parts of myself. Over the 15 years my sexual self confidence had eroded away and I was scared of everything, being to over weight, to old, penis to small (one doesn't whip out his fully working equipment in front of other people very often lol), jealousy and really just about every other crazy insecurity you could think of. 5. How did you start out? (soft swing, threesome (mmf or fmf) Full swing with another couple we have known for awhile and are good friends. We found out about them being swingers after we initially talked about it. We were very lucky to have friends who were already into swinging that we were able to approach. 6. What were your (both of you) feelings afterwards? After all of my worrying, we had a wonderful time. It felt completely natural and comfortable. We were both shocked in a way that there was no resulting conflict, jealousy, moral torment or really anything else just raw love for each other. We were very lucky that we had some great friends to share this with. 7. How do you (or do you) share the control of the lifestyle? We talk about everything together. Neither one of us really makes any final decissions. 8. How have your attitudes and/or misgivings changed? Our relationship is closer then ever before. After 15 years we are like to dating teenagers again. Our sex life, although good before, has gotten incredible. I actually need to ask for days off. Everything I worried about disappeared in an instant. My sexual confidence has returned and our relationship is stronger then ever. The couple we started with are still friends. Some weekends we get together with the kids, (theirs and ours make 6 total, talk about chaos) some weekends with other vanilla friends and some are for the four of us. We are very lucky.
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