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Chitowndk4u

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  • Content Count

    96
  • Joined

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32 Excellent

About Chitowndk4u

  • Rank
    Born Lifestyler
  • Birthday 07/01/1975

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    M. Male
  • Location
    Chicago
  • Occupation
    Musician/Engineer
  • Swinging Experience
    One year so far

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    EandCinChi

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  1. Oscar nominated actress Mo'Nique has come forth that she is in an open marriage. In her Barbara Wawa interview she said her and her husband have an open marriage.
  2. With all the great advice given in this thread, no one can tell you how to get over this issue or how to forgive yourself. You just do in time. Holding on to it is only going to cause more problems than it will solve. I live by a motto that says: Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you do about it. In short it me what happened is less important than how you handle it. Don't let one bad experience ruin it for you.
  3. I would imagine that most of the Hollywood types would be involved in the lifestyle in some way or another. Especially the actors since they have to make out with and act like they are having sex with people other than the person they are married to. I have heard the Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith are swingers.
  4. My wife says that we need more friends that are couples, but we don't meet them wherte we live because none of our couple friends have schedules that match ours or they just have totally different lives that we just aren't a part of. I mentioned to her that the one thing we did do in the subject we can't speak about was meet couples and could've struck up a good friendship with them. She didn't see what I was saying, of course.
  5. I really like your perspective on this. Since I've gained somewhat of a grasp on the lifestyle, I have come to accept that I'm mentally able to handle it. The wife? Not so much. I know that cheating is wrong. That is why I love swinging. It is a different mindset. I love it.
  6. I wouldn't want to run into co-workers or parents, siblings I wouldn't care about too much.
  7. Oh, our relationship is fine. I didn't mean to insinuate that it wasn't.
  8. Yeah, I'm giving her time. I just feel that since this event has happened, the least we can do is talk about it. All she says is "Why?, We're not going to do it, so why talk about it?" That in itself is frustrating because it's like she isn't interested in my point of view or even trying to understand me and what I have read, researched and learned. I have no selfish motives. I just know we both enjoy sex and have enjoyed sex with others together and are still as much in love with each other as we have always been. I feel like I'm being robbed of the memory of it because I feel it's kind of selfish to relive it in my mind and not share it with her. I want to share the memory with her. Not every time we have sex, but every once in a while. Just so we can remember the wild thing that we did.
  9. Well, we have done it (full swap) once, and a FMF 3some together and she did a FMF 3some on her own. I would like to do more in the lifestyle but she doesn't want to. I know that I can handle it and she can too, but I think she is fearful that it will wreck our relationship which has been strained until recently. Things have been great between us and we talk about about mostly everything. I say mostly because the subject of swinging just cannot be discussed. She has become very judgmental and standoffish when it comes up. I want to talk to her about her fears and concerns and where her mind is and ease her mind a bit. I think that she thinks that I will want it all the time and not want her anymore, and that couldn't be further from the truth. When I saw her with the other husband, it made me so horny for her. Her pussy was so wet and I just loved. I was right up under them (they were doggy) and I took a pic of them together while his wife watched.It was great. I still get hard thinking about it. The thing I want to do is at least be able to discuss it. Her tone has a finality to it that just makes me feel like she is totally closed to the idea, even though everything we have done together, she has set up. I'm frustrated because I feel we haven't had a real adult discussion and every attempt to has been met with hostility. I feel I can't talk to her and this is becoming a problem for me, not because I just want to be in the lifestyle and fuck a bunch of women. It's because we have never talked about that night and how much fun we had (other non-sexual activities included - no drugs or anything). So that's where I am.
  10. Thanks guys for the insightful comments. Keep them coming as I am learning a lot from you guys.
  11. Yeah I hear that. People need to lighten up, don't you think? If we were to free our minds, just imagine what we could do.
  12. This is agree with. I asked this to a person i just had a conversation with. This person says she wanted to have person that didn't want to share her, yet she cheated on her BF every chance she got. Still does. So, in essence she is sharing herself without her bf's permission. So I asked her: What is more acceptable, sleeping with someone without your s/o's knowledge, or having sex with your s/o right there doing the same? No answer. I just think it's wild that people can judge swinging negatively, yet can come up with all kinds of reasons to justify cheating which is more hurtful and destructive to a relationship.
  13. Actually, your reply was very insightful. Lifestylers are more common than vanilla people think, they are just more discreet about what they do. My wife for example, doesn't really know how many swingers there are in the world. While I don't try to force it on her, I would love for her to come to the board, post questions or even read through some of the things that are posted here. This board has been very good in helping me understand more about the lifestyle than I thought it would. I have found the people here helpful and a joy to associate with in my short time being here. I feel if she saw what I saw, she would at the very least understand it a bit more. And she has actually participated in it. I feel we as a people (race unimportant) have been conditioned to feel a certain way about certain things. Please don't get upset with me Julie. I am African American and I have found that white people are way more sexually liberated than we are. Black folks are getting into the lifestyle more as of recent, but white folks are light years ahead of us. To me this is due to religious upbringing. Not saying one is more religious than the other, the difference is we take things way too literally as opposed to everyone else. So, in our society, swinging is almost a no no. Ironically cheating is rampant. Please don't get mad at me for stating that. I just don't feel vanilla people have any clue how much they are missing out on by cheating on their s/o's instead of enjoy sexual play together.
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