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BCinIN

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    92
  • Joined

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52 Excellent

About BCinIN

  • Rank
    Active Contributor

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Male Half of Couple
  • Location
    Indiana
  • Swinging Experience
    less than a year

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    BCandC
  1. For us, we'd rather move things along quickly, heh. Too quickly to become friends with anyone. On the other hand, however, we definitely have to all get along on a personal level before anything happens. So I guess for us, it's necessary that the other couple have the potential to become friends--whether or not it actually ends up with friendship is the "if it happens, it happens" part.
  2. Lately, we've become strictly club-goers--the online scene just has too many what-ifs for our taste. At the club, you can see, meet, and evaluate what (and who ) you're getting yourself into before anything happens, and no one gets stood up. Of course, now that we found an even better club than our old one, this is just working out as well as could be for us, in many ways.
  3. I'm very sorry this happened, but I must say: it has probably nothing to do with you. First I'll answer your questions, and then I'll reluctantly tell a story about something that happened to me once that sounds eerily similar. 1. I questioned myself and everything I did, thinking that I had tried every trick in the book, that I have used on my husband (except for a whip). So, does this mean that my husband can and will fuck just about anything, which includes me? Am I that disgusting? Despite the myriad jokes to the contrary, I've yet to meet a man that would fuck anything. In fact, most men have decent standards, and won't go below them except on special occasions (like a single guy that hasn't gotten any for a year might). 2. Should my husband wait to penetrate, while waiting for a sign from me that I have successful penetration, before he penetrates the wife. Then calling a switch at the last moment, if the male cannot get penetration. (Which, by the way, I totally hate this options, because it feels so selfish..) I don't even think you should have to "demand" such a thing! In fact, your husband should (and probably will) wantto do that all on his own, for your sake. There's no way C and I would even THINK about having a good time unless we knew our other half was, period. That's what swinging is all about: everyone having fun. No taking one for the team, and no letting each other take one (even voluntarily!) for the team. We look out for each other first and foremost. 3. For us to just stop swinging all together, because I'm not what men want. (which again is a selfish answer, because obviously the women like my man, and this may not be what Ed wants, but will do, if I ask.) I really doubt that's true. You have most likely read too much into this situation--an experience C and I had once might shed light on this, as embarrassing as it is for me to tell. Edit: deleted a bunch of stuff that didn't apply once I saw that the guy's stage fright was the problem.
  4. It hasn't come up, but I'd say "we're swingers. Heh." Then again, being shunned by society--or, for that matter, any of its more boring/uptight members, which includes the people who gasp at the mere mention of swinging--is truly at the bottom of my Things to Worry About list. At first I did worry about it...but eventually I decided I'd rather be despised for what I am than liked for what I'm not. This doesn't mean I advertise it (especially in places like work), but if anyone asked me, I'd say yes without hesitation.
  5. Smoking's great. Only smoking when we drink (weekends) is even better--our health, even after 15 years, hasn't had any detrimental effects. Having all week to heal works wonders. Most of the people we know who smoke all the time, on the other hand, have developed minor problems (smoker's cough, low energy, run out of breath quickly, etc.). We prefer smokers, and since that's all we search for, honestly we've never met any nonsmokers (the club we go to is a smoking club as well). But who knows what the relative percentages are? I personally wouldn't adjust my habits for other couples who didn't like smokers--after all, the idea is to find compatible people, right? Everyone has a lot more fun when no one has to surrender any habits for the evening.
  6. We're same-room same-bed, so with us it's a foregone conclusion. Neither of us wants to be left out of the action, and we both want to be very involved in each other's fun. We got into this to do it together. Is that selfish? Not in my book. What is selfish to me is going and playing on my own while knowing that my wife is being left out, and vice versa. Even if C was willing to sit out and take one for the team, I wouldn't put her in that position.
  7. I seriously doubt there's anything to worry about. 500,000 men per year in America get vasectomies. If it increased the total risk to anything about a negligible amount, the disease would be a lot less than rare now. I think this is another case of a "researcher" wanting some grant money.
  8. At this rate, with all these new risks these "researchers" are discovering, I can't help but think I'm going to die someday. Nah, can't be.
  9. The "internet brings out the asshole in many" point reminded me of something funny. There has been one (thankfully only one) SM we've had a problem with. This was on SLS, which recently added some sort of chat feature we never use. One day, browsing the profiles, a window pops up and says "'suchandsuchSM' wants to chat, will you accept?" I clicked "yes" and the following ensued. SM: hey how r u i have big dik Me: Uh huh. SM: i hav big dik pleez ur women good Me: All of them? That's funny, I didn't know I had more than one womAn. Well, I did come home drunk that one night and saw two in my bed side by side, but they both looked suspiciously like my wife. SM: wut wrong wit u? Me: I seem to be having a problem satisfying all of my many women, apparently, and desperately need YOUR help...does that about sum it up? SM: y u hab many woman and cant pleez? Me: Well, according to my recently hired internet psychologist/problem solver...actually I'm not quite sure. What is your expert opinion on this conundrum, doctor? SM: u r a dik bye (end transmission) Needless to say, I immediately vowed to always accept chat invitations in the future--I mean this is the sort of entertainment you just don't get anywhere else, you know?
  10. MAJOR red flags here. I can see a lot of problems for you particularly in the near future should you accept this situation, unless you like being a pushover. I hate to be so blunt about it, but that's honestly all this is: they want you to let them have their way with your wife however they want, and for you to just take a hike! Very bad news in my opinion. My advice is to look for a couple that will respect both of you and your wishes.
  11. Most couples we've met aren't into it, but for some reason they often don't specifically mention it in their profiles (in person they usually do). We're not into it either.
  12. We're sitting here talking about this, and we're on the opposite end of the spectrum than the majority here. Kissing is not "part of sex" at all--in fact, it's something that is most commonly done outside of sex, and between couples. To us, kissing is something intimate, and romantic...and romance is best kept separate from swinging.
  13. After having a more than two-hour commute for several years, the prospect of driving up to 200 miles is nothing to me (our favorite club is about 180 miles away, too). So I answered 200 or less. I can't see going 500 miles, but who knows? Under some sort of circumstances, I might consider it. We both like road trips anyway. Edit: after reading Tybee's post, I'd have to say I totally agree--we'd drive a lot farther to a club than to meet just one couple.
  14. Uck. Not another guy's load. But I've never objected to my own sloppy seconds.
  15. Non-smoking usually means "all the time." And like Alura said, you can't fool anyone. My wife and I only smoke when we drink, and a lot of people who don't know us well don't even know we're occasional smokers, but if you smoke regularly, they'll know for sure. We tried to solve the smoking vs. non-smoking compatibility problem on SLS by selecting "I ONLY want people that smoke" and "I ONLY want people that drink" only to discover that SLS doesn't modify your searches based on those selections! So we have to do things the old fashioned way, and check profiles. We've found a few awesome profiles only to find "we're only interested in non-smokers" near the end, and man does that suck. Not only did we waste our time reading all those profiles, but it all could have been prevented with one little change to the way their searches worked. Oh well...
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