Jump to content

2TexasTornados

Registered
  • Content Count

    68
  • Joined

Community Reputation

16 Good

About 2TexasTornados

  • Rank
    Active Contributor

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Texas

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

  1. Mr. 2TT here. I'm very impressed with the time and effort this community is investing in our relationship. I am not angry, and am careful to not be perceived as such. I would characterize my disposition as disappointed. When I opened our marriage to swinging, I had every confidence that Mrs. 2TT would never attach to a casual sex partner. I had every confidence that I had her emotional love exclusively, and that our love was well protected. I have to agree that Mrs. 2TT is indeed a SUPERWIFE, as she has said herself. She makes my life easy. She handles kids and household and our business with no demands from me. I will never know another woman like her. Good question. I felt like constantly trolling the internet for new people for sex was dangerous, and it felt slutty. Meeting new strangers and trusting them to be D&D free would eventually lend itself to a disastrous mistake. I wanted a close, secure couple that we could trust, see regularly and look forward to weekend parties with them. A poly relationship embodied that for me. We would be equally involved with some yet unknown couple that would add fantasy to our lives. Our emotional love, after all was secure and not available for distribution. Our friendship with this couple has always been driven by Mrs 2TT friendship with Mr P. Mrs. P was always there, but really just part of the scenery. She and I never spent time together outside of the group, and I never had a sexual attraction to her. You might say she was part of the scenery. This summer I was challenged to seduce her as part of the game of introducing this vanilla couple to our world of recreational sex. I succeeded easily. I understand now that she has an affinity for me that is strong, and she chats with me daily. We've developed a great friendship that includes flirting and the expectation of sex. For me it's simple swinging. I don't love her, and would stop if asked at any time. I don't want more than what it is now. My wife and Mr. P have established a marriage-quality relationship. He's inside our secure fortress of emotional love. I'm now sharing my wife's emotions with another man. Mr. P has always been a good friend, but now I see him as a competitor. He's identified my wife as his soul mate, and would leave Mrs. P for my wife if given 1/2 the chance. So now the only thing that keeps my marriage to Mrs. 2TT secure is her devotion to me. But my entire security perimeter has been breached, and I have these two lovers-in-waiting moving about the cabin freely. Sometimes I think Mr. P used his wife as a Trojan horse to gain unrestricted access to my wife. As a side note- Mr & Mrs P have had a rocky marriage in the past, and he's a lawyer making a quarter million a year. Neither of which help my case. If Mrs 2TT dedication to me wavered, I'd be instantly ruined. In every category. One of the things that went wrong was our vacation in Vegas. We had just established the sexual grounds 2 weeks earlier. Mrs. 2TT and I had always been same room swingers, but Mr. P successfully negotiated a closed door separate room overnight love-a-thon. And then made it ALL 4 NIGHTS! That right there pushed me too hard, and left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Make that terrible. I went off on the 3rd day with Mrs. 2TT and to her credit she handled it with remarkable maturity. At the time I pulled the all-stop lever, but softened later when the rum wore off and reluctantly allowed them a closed door session with a 1.5 hour limit. I was afraid of damaging her commitment to me, and in doing so would lose the whole woman. I'm still in danger. The original fantasy is over. She's offered to "whore herself out" to satisfy my fantasy. Anyone would agree that's a terrible idea. There aren't any good solutions at this point. I'll never be allowed any involvement with her and Mr. P. And I'm not going to pressure her to whore herself out, so my fantasy has been deleted to make room for her new husband. If I stop this Mrs. P will be hurt, Mr. P will be resentful, and Mrs. 2TT never be the same. That friendship would be over, my marriage damaged, and I will be the bad guy. If it goes on ahead Mrs. P will continue to be happy, Mr. P and Mrs 2TT will be free to continue chipping away at my marriage and I'll be left with a self-defeating worry that consumes my happy-go-lucky demeanor. Excellent advice. We've talked quite a bit lately. So much so that she calls me the one-topic-wonder now. It usually ends in one of us crying. and I take the blame for all of this. I started the swinging, and I encouraged inviting our vanilla friends even after having been warned that Mr. P (but she really meant herself) wouldn't be able to manage the attraction. I think I'll become a motivational poster for having defacing the most beautiful thing I've ever had. I've lead a charmed life, and this is the only time I've ever wanted an undo button. I'm confident we'll survive this, I just wish I knew how.
  2. This is the Mrs. again... couplers, I like your style! A little more background so you may all better psychoanalyze. I do appreciate the input so far. My husband and I got together on the heels of a break up from a guy who was too controlling for my tastes. Not violently so. Just annoyingly so. I came from a very abusively strict childhood, so I was in no way interested in a man controlling me. My husband was his own man, and let me be my own woman. He NEVER told me how to dress, what to say, when to leave a party, etc. He ALSO never got the least bit jealous, which my 20-year-old self was a little put out about, but I was willing to accept his oblivion since it meant he'd never boss me around. Later, I very much appreciated that he wasn't jealous, and now I believe it was just part of being young and being too green to know that love doesn't have to mean possession. For many years into our marriage, this continued. He always enjoyed knowing I had close friendships with men, including my ex-boyfriend. He allowed and even encouraged hours-long conversations to which he was not privy. He thought it was great that I had them, and that they had me. Not once in all these years did I ever cheat on him, nor even contemplate it. He trusted me, and I never messed up. I loved him for trusting me. When he first introduced swinging, I had knee jerk reactions from the old days - jealousy. I thought I had been so careful to avoid sharing this one thing - sex - and now he was going to hand it out. But the more we talked and the more I thought, I realized it was silly. I had my husband, he had me... I was already sharing intimate parts of myself emotionally with others (male), so why not "let" him share himself physically? I shed it all. I genuinely walked away from ALL jealousy and never felt a twinge since. Emotional, physical... I LOVE to think he's sharing with someone else, whomever that may be. I think it's great if he can find the kind of deep bonds that I have with others. But now he says things like,"Don't you CARE? What if I got this close with P's wife? Wouldn't that alarm you?" So, this is what we have: He never cared about my emotional bonding before. He was never the least bit jealous and never seemed to expect me to be. He was always open to swinging, even though we spent 12 years monogamous. So, he didn't care about sharing himself (or me) with others physically. He started out our marriage already pretty liberated in his way of thinking, and as the years progressed, he got more liberated... and NOW, he wants me to find it in myself to be jealous if I imagine myself in his place, of having a loving relationship with a playmate. I can't manufacture such a thing. Also, he was the one who said recently that he was feeling like standard swinging wasn't what he was after, that he'd prefer an exclusive "poly-type" relationship (his words). Once we got there, and he realized his half of the quad wasn't the same brand of connection that my half is, he wants to revert back to standard swinging. To be honest, I feel like a tug boat tied to his ship that keeps suddenly changing course, and I'm getting whiplash from the turns. I've always tried to take care of him and his emotional needs. I respect every "rule" and have imposed none on him. After the Vegas trip, he told me it was all over with P and his wife, and told me I would only be allowed to hold hands and nothing else. I was upset in the moment, and so chose not to discuss it at the time. I accepted his new ruling and was prepared to move on. Days later, he let up and said he'd be OK with continuing, as long as there were no more overnights. I agreed, and have since followed his brand new 1.5 hour rule. As for P's wife - it's not that I have no concern for her feelings, it's just that she's not concerned. She easily and quickly shed all the trappings of monogamy and has openly accepted the concept of open marriage - right now my husband is her only playmate, but she knows she can entertain others if they come along, and she's fine with P doing the same. Anyway, that's the fill in for the "fast forward to present day" in my husband's first post. He has "offered" to get his fix (of watching/same room) by going back to our other playmates in the meantime, and then when we get together with the main couple, he'll just let us all have alone time like we have been. But I wonder if it's going to make him "hate" it any less, just to know he's getting some payoff elsewhere... A work in progress, you could say!
  3. Hi, all. I'm the Mrs. of 2TexasTornados. We HAVE talked about all this, and at length. We've always been talking to each other along the way about all of this. Nothing my husband said in his post is new to me. When we started swinging, I was a reluctant player. I'm not at ALL a prude and have always been a firecracker in our own bed, but I don't enjoy group sex, I don't enjoy being watched. I don't enjoy girl-on-girl. However, I don't DISLIKE it enough to overrule his love for it. SO, I did all of those things. I was happy to see him so happy, so it was a small price to pay. The husband of our current couple (I'll call him P) has been my best friend for 18 years. I met him in college, before I met my husband. Several times back then and up to the present, he and I have expressed that we have always had a connection that was more than friends. But neither of us wanted to "mess it up" with romance back when it was an option. Plus, back in college, I was already dating my husband by the time P had broken up with his girlfriend. So he and I were never completely "single" at the same time. I've told my husband this, and I'll say it here. The kind of love I have for P, I've had since 1993. I don't feel any more bonded to him now than I have all these years. It was just mostly unspoken. P told me that he had always kept HIS feelings for me well hidden because he was respecting my marriage and our friendship by never even attempting to cross that line. It's not puppy love, nor any sort of dopamine inspired addiction. We are not going to run off together. We can love our spouses and each other, and have been with no issues and no life changes. I'm still superwife, if I do say so myself. My husband and I still have all the sex we've always had. I still cook, clean, mow the lawn, take care of the kids. We still have couple time, cuddle time, nothing about our marriage has suffered in my opinion, EXCEPT that my husband insists that I've killed his dream of seeing me with other men, by honoring P's preference that he not play in a group setting. A while back my husband said he'd like to move from standard swinging to polyamory, because we got along SO well with P and his wife. This was after I had repeatedly "warned" (more like advised) him that P and I had always had a very close bond, and I was sure that adding sex to that bond would put it on another level quickly. The very first night I told P that we had been swinging, he told me that he had secretly been in love with me for years. I immediately told my husband this the first night. My husband didn't want to back off, even after knowing that. He just wanted to get started on the playing pronto. Now that HE has decided polyamory isn't working out for him, he wants to stop. I just want it to be clear (because there are ALWAYS two sides to every story), that I didn't run off on some wild hair toward polyamory without him. Ever since we started swinging, it has been him making the requests/rules, and me following. This is the VERY first request I've ever made (that P and I are allowed some alone time) and I've tried very hard to pick up my stuff and keep following my husband around on his changing ideas and requirements. My husband can insist we stop, and I guess as of this morning, that's the plan. But P and I will still be bonded. I think my husband's greater sadness is that I'm no longer interested in "NSA" swinging now that I found poly is my better fit. The thing is, from the start, my husband has pushed me into things he thinks is a great idea (like playing with P even when I told him it was going to head toward expressed love), then when things don't pan out like he fantasized, he wants to be able to pull my plug and undo my emotions. I can go on indefinitely loving both men. I have for years. I do have some level of discontent that my husband can pull the rug out from under me, when I've asked for so little along the way and have gone out of my way to fulfill his fantasy needs. P is not comfortable with "on display" sex, and I think 1.5 hours every month or so isn't too much to ask. But my husband does, and of course if he makes me choose, I choose what he wants, over what P wants. But P will never have same room sex, so it will just stop. Thanks for listening to my side.
  4. My wife and I have been married for 14 years and began our journey into swinging over 2 years ago. We have a model marriage, rock solid and exceptionally sexually charged. It all started when our best (vanilla) friends asked my wife to video them having sex, and she was shocked. We discussed it, and I really liked the idea. It didn't happen, but we began discussing our private fantasies. My ultimate fantasy is to watch her having sex with another man. That desire took us down the road to swinging. We found our first swinger couple online, and became full swap. Only rule: We play together; same room sex. On that bases, we're able to signal each other if anything negative comes up. Fast forward to present day. We've had a mutual (married) friend that we've known since college (15 years). This summer my wife confided in the guy of the other couple that we were swingers. He thought the idea was tantalizing, and immediately started introducing the idea to his wife. Within two months all the ground work had been laid and I ended up giving his wife a massage that ended up nude and I had sex with her (completely sanctioned by our spouses). We were alone in the living room late at night- the other two had left us alone because I was working on my assignment. Upon notifying my wife and the other husband, they went directly to the upstairs bedroom and caught up. This stretched our same room swinging rule, but since we were introducing vanilla friends to the wide world of recreational sex it was acceptable. By chance we had already planned a mutual vacation in Las Vegas for the following month. In all the hot discussions with our friends with new benefits we ended up negotiating an overnight wife swap. All three of them wanted it, and I decided since it was Vegas, lets try it all. One night became all 4 nights almost right away. I didn't want that, didn't like it, but I reserved judgement. I wasn't going to be the Debbie Downer of the group in Las Vegas. So we went ahead as planned. 4 nights of separate closed door sex. I couldn't believe I had gotten myself into. Now my wife and her (boy)friend of 15 years have all but established our group as a polyamorous. They only play behind that goddammed closed door, and I hate it. I have the same privilege with his wife, but for me I only consider myself a NSA swinger. Not a closed polyamorous "I love you" relationship. My wife is in love with this guy, we see them on 6 week intervals (240 miles separate us) and I don't know what to do. It's so far along now that I'll destroy the friendship if I pull the All-Stop lever now. I don't see the other-wife that I've been assigned as being in the same attraction class as my wife. He, on the other hand is ga-ga over my wife, and they have talked up a bond that rivals my own marriage. She's admitted to me that they're saying their I-Love-You's behind that damn closed door. I've imposed time limits on them now, 1.5 hours is it behind that door. My wife respects that and follows it, but I know she (they) want more and likely resent it. I'm iron clad on that, and have shut out all discussions about more time -> all night swaps again. If I had foreseen any of this when we started swinging 2 years ago I would have squashed it. But now I'm here, and I'm conflicted. I can suppress my (is it jitters? jealousy?), but it keeps popping up and I become moody over the worst case scenario of those two running off and starting a bakery together. I don't want to stop what's possibly a good thing, but my primary fantasy has been permanently removed: watching my wife enjoy sex with another man. I've deleted all our swingers profiles on the lifestyle sites in protest. I might just passively remove myself from the group. I'm so afraid of damaging my awesome marriage over this. Tell me, what would you do?
  5. My husband prefers a full bush on me, but I keep it shaved at the lips and then very trimmed just above (the landing strip). I'd do that no matter what was in style.
  6. I did, but only with one boyfriend and we had been together all of junior high and then high school, when I finally gave in at 17. I don't regret it. The Mr. waited till college, and I was his first. His second wasn't until we had been married for 11 years and started this whole swinging thing.
  7. I've never even heard the myth about thumb rings. I've worn one for at least 10 years before we became swingers!
  8. We both work at the same job as owners/managers of a tech service business.
  9. I've worn them on either. I don't think it matters.
  10. My husband had his done 4 years ago when our 3rd child was an infant. For him, it was very easy, and he was back to work on Monday (Friday vasectomy). We were back to sex on Tuesday, if I recall. Now that we're in the lifestyle, I wish I had gotten a tubal also, while I was already "on the table" for the c-section, but we're business owners and therefore self insured, so I never went back after the fact to have it done. I still may someday, because I don't want to be on the pill "forever", but don't want to have a condom as the only birth control when it comes to partners.
  11. Jim Carrey is a comic actor. Liar Liar The Mask Bruce Almighty Ace Ventura Pet Detective
  12. Location: Anywhere from next door to about 30 miles away. We don't like to use up a lot of time driving, and aren't uncomfortable with them being "in the backyard". Friends in addition to swing partners: Yes, either just enough to have a few good non-sex conversations, or good enough that our kids all have sleepovers, we as families barbecue in the yard, go see July 4th fireworks together, etc. Age, Body type/build, Interests: Age isn't that important, but we like people in our "stage" - settled, with kids, long married, but not "retired" and rocking on the porch yet. Body type is also not hugely important. I've seen attractive people of all body types, it's more about chemistry. As for interests, we'd like to bowl, have casual get togethers at our house, see a movie, take the kids to Chuck E Cheese or the park, ride motorcyles, camp, go on bike (bicycle) tours, etc. We have all kinds of interests and usually manage to find a few in common with just about anyone.
  13. I take it to mean they don't want to play with parents. I've read some profiles that are a lot more blatant. Something like "we don't have kids and aren't interested in people who do. We don't want to talk about little junior's activities!" As a parent of 3 and yet still VERY much a woman who can leave ALL the mom stuff and conversation behind to have adult fun with my husband and/or other adults, I resent statements like that. BUT at least I know that if someone is that narrow minded about the kind of fun they could have with us based on the fact that a separate part of our lives differs from theirs, I really am not interested in them anyway. Movin' right along. We have in our profile that we are parents but get along with the "kidless" just as well. To show that we can find enough common ground in either crowd. To me, whether or not you are a parent has almost nothing to do with sexual compatibility.
  14. I'm a woman and only bi-curious at best, so I don't really have a thing for other women's feet, but I do consider them something to "dress up" on myself, so I wear toe rings year round and try to keep them painted neatly all the time. I wear "strappy" sandals as much as possible, and heels when I wear a skirt or dress. I have proportional and nicely shaped toes, so I figure I should milk the best features! DH doesn't really care about feet, but I don't mind. He's not a "leg man" either and wouldn't you know it, that's one of my best physical features!
×
×
  • Create New...