I agree with you and some of the others that this statement by itself is flawed, but I can totally understand how someone might come to that conclusion. The reason I say that is that based on the people we have played with over the years, not always, but more often than not, the people who are adamant about, "same room only" have issues that would indicate to me that they probably shouldn't be swinging. We have met very few people that were, "same room only" that I would say were comfortable with everything about swinging but just preferred to play only in the same room, in contrast to the majority who we have met who were just to insecure with each other to play separately. We have met even less, like 2 or 3 couples in 5 years that were, "same room only" and any fun to play with. Frankly, most, "Same room only" people we have played with that didn't have issues, were so into seeing each other play that it was obvious we were just a minor but necessary tool for them to fulfill their fantasy, and for us these experiences sucked. In fact, now days when it is obvious that the couple we are withs only interest is seeing each other play, we just get dressed and leave.Originally Posted by r_poseidon
Ok enough on that, now to answer your actual question of which do I prefer and why. That is an easy one, separate room is what I prefer. As for the reason why that is also quite simple even though their are several reasons, I will list them in order of importance to me;
I like separate room because in all of our experiences playing with others in swinging we have never had a bad experience when playing in separate rooms. This is not to say we have had no good experiences playing in the same room as we have on many occasions, but with our same room experiences I would guess it has been good about 15% of the time, whereas, with separate rooms it has been good 100% of the times we have done it.
Easier play coordination is also an advantage of separate rooms. Just as it is hard to find four people who all find each other attractive enough to have sex with, it is also at least equally as hard to find people who are into the same things once the clothes come off and also progress at the same speed. When playing same room it is always a compromise. I can't tell you how many times we have had a play session where the other guy got done before I did and then he and my wife sat their and watched us. Being a non-exhibitionist who actually doesn't like being someone else's entertainment, when this happens the experience is less than good for me.
Separate room play allows you the comfort level to try things you wouldn't do if in the presence of your spouse. We recently played with a couple in separate rooms where Mrs. GT got to try some things that, quite frankly, we both agree would have left us both convulsing in the corner with fits of laughter, heck when we got home and were doing our traditional after play retelling to each other of the nights events, we were both cracking up over what my reaction would have been had I been there to see it, yet at the time she got totally into it and thoroughly enjoyed it. Another time I was with a playmate and in the middle of it she decided she wanted to have sex in the shower. After I got over thinking maybe I stunk or something, we had sex in the shower and it was a blast. These things just aren't possible if one is, "same room only".
It is kind of funny how things change over time, when we first started swinging one of our major turn-ons was to see the other having sex with someone else. Now after many experiences, both good and not so good, under our belt, this fantasy has evidently been filled adequately for both of us because seeing each other with someone else just doesn't get us excited like it used to. This does not mean we will not play same room any more, or that we don't enjoy playing same room. We still do, but not for the same reasons as when we first started. Like most everyone else, when we first started we were, "same room only" now days, we prefer separate rooms given a choice.