How many couples do both same room and separate room?

[SilkyWmn]

Hello I am new here but wanted to say that my hubby and I have been swinging for 6 yrs now. We finally decided to swing seperate and so far so good. No problems so far have arised from this. We have talked about who we are comfortable with and have to have permission before things start. But its all in the communication or it won't work.

[BradAndJanet]

Originally posted by leftcoastcouple
...Having said all that, have there been threads in the past specifically about "same room vs separate room?" As the wife and I consider swinging, I've found just about every answer and discussion I've looked for on this fabulous board, except this one. And it's something she and I have slightly different opinions on and need to discuss further. Any help?

Here are a couple I've found (the second one has additional links in it

Same room couples?
1st time swap.. same room or separate boudoirs??

We've done it both ways. Each is different, but fun it it's own way.

I found separate rooms to be quite exciting, because there's something almost illicit and 'naughty' about being alone with another woman. There's also the element of not knowing what J is up to and my imagination runs wild.

Same room, however, has been great too, especially in threesome and foursome combinations. Wow! Someday, I'd love to try more-somes

Variety is what I really like, so we'll probably continue to do both, depending on circumstances and our moods.

-B

[leftcoastcouple]

Thanks, BradandJanet. Appreciate the help. With Julie's links included on the link you provided, I've got a starting point. Plus, stupid me had not yet tried a Boolean search, and now that I have, I've found even more useful threads.

You've also given me food for thought by suggesting it doesn't have to be an "either/or" proposition. As you say, each has its own elements of excitement to offer, and employing them at different times could offer variety and different sorts of fun.

Until now, as my wife and I have discussed this, I've been biased toward same room. But you reminded me, as I related in the "Green Eyed Monster" on the HELP board, how "not knowing" nearly drove me insane with lustful thoughts when my wife years ago spent the night on several occasions with a male friend of ours. The first night she did so may well have been the horniest 18 hours of my life, as the mix of jealousy, lust, and overwhelming curiosity had my mind running absolutely wild. Having that experience again simultaneously mixed with my own swapping encounter sounds like a whole lot of fun.

Ah, so much to think about. And all fun to think about, too!

[BettyAnnMBSC]

We always play together. That doesn't mean we both have to be in the same room or even be active participants, but we are always within range of each other.

We (like many others) have found that this very much diminishes the chance of serious emotional attachments and jealousy.

We've found too though that sometimes we find ourselves with a partner that we can react to differently (or the partner reacts differently) if the other is not in the room at the time.

An example: About a month ago, I loaned my hubby to a very inexperienced young friend of mine for her "first lesson". She was concerned that I would laugh at her lack of knowledge were I in the room that first time so I watched TV in the living room. [hubby taped the experience and then gave her the tape afterwards and said "we can destroy this right now or you can give it Betty..." she gave me the tape and we watched it together ] She is now a regular FMF playmate.

My point is that we were both present (just not in the same room)at the time and there were no secrets at all. Had she wanted to go to a motel room alone with him or to visit while I wasn't home then that would have been a no-no.

Another example of how "together" can mean different things to different people.

[Alura]

We've each tried playing separately once but decided it was not as much fun. We feel the same way about separate rooms, although we've done that a lot. One couple we played with for a long time preferred separate rooms, at least the wife did. We'd really rather be together in the same room, but we can be flexible.

Mr. Alura

[2newbies]

our first experience was seperate. i was with someone first. a few days later he was with someone. we of course shared the experience by talking about it, which was very hot.
we have decided that we would rather be together from now on. it is more fun to watch what is going on. we haven't ruled out the single thing, but it will probably be while the other watches...and maybe joins in...lol .

the more the merrier.... .


k and g

:evil:

[tamster6584]

Hmm, what a variety of topics rolled into one!

My hubby and i have been swingers and partners for almost two decades. I don't think there is a variation of meetings that we haven't tried. Do we have a preference? Yes, we prefer to meet with other couples, as a couple. What we do from there, depends on everyone's comfort levels. Same room or separate room, both are fine, both have their advantages and disadvantages. Same room, you can watch your partner (which those voyeurs out there, like me, will understand the appeal of!). But, its not as intimate, and focussing on whats going on just with yourself can be difficult. Separate room, you lose the lovely sight of your partner enjoying giving and receiving and trading all the fun they are having, but you gain the benefit of privacy and less thereby less distractions.

Now, as for the other question, playing as a couple or playing separately. For years and years, we only played together. As we have grown older and more mature, and more secure with each other, we do sometimes play without each other. There are many rules and restrictions we abide by, though. We only play individually with couples (or part of a couple) that we have been with together, or have known well enough to feel safe with ( or that we our partner is safe with). We don't play with someone alone without the knowledge and approval of the other. We always let each other know when and where we will be. We always leave contact information. And, we ALWAYS have safe sex, just as we would if we were playing together. And another big rule, we don't EVER play with someone who's playing without the approval of THEIR partner. That's not swinging, in our opinion its cheating. We're here for everyone's fun, not to ruin people's lives or help them ruin someone elses.

*PHEW* that was long winded! Pardon me, while i get down off my soap box; it was starting to work its way under my feet there for a few minutes.

*wink* Tami (and Charlie!)

[2newbies]

we feel the same way playing without partners knowledge. that is cheating. we have decided that we would rather play together. if we do play seperate, it is people that we know and trust. we also try to make friends with the couples we want to play with before we actually play, that way we know if we are compatible.


:evil:

[Miss_Piggy]

Originally posted by tamster6584

*PHEW* that was long winded! Pardon me, while i get down off my soap box; it was starting to work its way under my feet there for a few minutes.

heeheehee. See how this smilie could come in handy:

[webbguy]

We play apart, since we live 600 miles away for now, we talk everyday. We are very careful of who we play with, and enjoy talking about it!