"We play together, with no exceptions!"

[LikeMinds321]

I regularly see statements in profiles - rather angrily stated - that a couple absolutely will NOT play without the other present. Often they add, "Don't even ask!"

I have always presumed that a couple plays together unless they state otherwise.

Even when Mr LM and I state in our profile that we WILL play alone on ocassion with couples we know well, no one has ever been so bold as to ask either of us up front to play alone with them. We offer and nobody bites.

Couples: How often are you asked to play alone? Is this really a rampant problem in the lifestyle?

If you put a "won't play alone" statement in your profile, what prompted you to do it? I wonder if it isn't one of those things people think they are supposed to put in a profile, but doesn't need to be there.

LM

[tribbles]

Consider how many are looking for single bifems.

Then figure they can't find their unicorn so go looking for bifems who are part of a couple.

It's been a problem here. Even with statements like 'we only play together' in our profile.

One couple with a new profile asked me and I let her know I understood it to be inappropriate to ask when that's in the profile...she told me how hot she was and how not hot I was for even trying to let her know it was rude to ask. And told me she has lots of success and I was out of line to do more than say "no, thanks" to her kind offer.

Then she blocked me.



Now I'm much less likely to explain to anyone anything and I just ignore the emails. I'm not going to play with 'em anyway so why be nice when they can't read or don't believe what they read in a profile?

S

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by tribbles

It's been a problem here. Even with statements like 'we only play together' in our profile.

S

If it is still a problem even with the statement it would seem that as is most often the case, people don't read profiles carefully, if at all.

LM

[good times]

We have had it happen often enough that we know it happens, but not often enough for it to seem like a problem. Funny thing is, it has always happened at clubs to us, I don't recall it ever happening through our SLS add, but it may have and I just don't remember it. We get a lot of emails through our add and 99% of them get a, "no thank you" for some reason or other, so it may very well have happened before. The main reason most people get the, "no thank you" response is because they obviously didn't read our add, so I am skeptical that anything of this sort one puts in an add will actually do any good.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by good times

We have had it happen often enough that we know it happens, but not often enough for it to seem like a problem. Funny thing is, it has always happened at clubs...

I can see this happening at clubs very easily. The people you meet at clubs won't know what you will or won't do until they ask.

We've even come across couples where both Mr LM and I don't click with both of them on a sexual level, but we would like to be able to invite one of them to join us, or make available one of us to join them. How to approach that idea without offending a couple is beyond us. So we have always ended up with a no go. It's too bad, because finding all four people who click has always been a challenge for us.

We are now seeking out more opportunities to get involved in small private parties or join a playroom with a few couples we know and are comfortable with. This way, we are comfotable moving around to the people we want to be with. There isn't the pressure for me to play with Mr X if I don't want to, even though Mr LM is playing with Mrs X.

LM

[ohash01]

I don't think it's a PROBLEM...but I have been asked...hmm...3 times, maybe?...in one year if I'll come out to play without J. The answer is always "no thank you"...only one person didn't "get it".

I don't think we have that in our profile. It's very obviously a profile for 2 people...so I guess most people that are looking for single ignore us. Which is fine by me

[iapr]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

I can see this happening at clubs very easily. The people you meet at clubs won't know what you will or won't do until they ask.

We've even come across couples where both Mr LM and I don't click with both of them on a sexual level, but we would like to be able to invite one of them to join us, or make available one of us to join them. How to approach that idea without offending a couple is beyond us. So we have always ended up with a no go. It's too bad, because finding all four people who click has always been a challenge for us.

We are now seeking out more opportunities to get involved in small private parties or join a playroom with a few couples we know and are comfortable with. This way, we are comfotable moving around to the people we want to be with. There isn't the pressure for me to play with Mr X if I don't want to, even though Mr LM is playing with Mrs X.

LM

This is almost a separate issue from the original post on profiles and one that is a bit more touchy. If you do know a couple that in theory are ok to play separately but you are only interested in one of them, I do think it would be a powder keg to ask. It would be one thing to invite one member of the couple over one time and then to ask the other at another time but it is a whole other ball of wax to say that you would like one but not the other...ever.

We do not play separate but if we did I would be a bit miffed if a couple said they wanted the mrs but not me. I suppose if it was a remarkably open minded couple and you had a very close relationship with them to begin with anything is possible but I can't see it happening very often. I think your all or none approach is by far the safest option. True it is hard to get 4 people to mesh but when it happens it makes it all worthwhile.

[Greg & Sheryl]

It's rare that we get asked if we play alone, but when it does happen, we let them know that we don't and that's the end of it. Surpisingly, it's usually Greg rather than Sheryl who gets asked. Either way, it's never been an issue that we felt compelled to address in our profiles.

[prettylady]

Dog and I had our big, lets lay down the rules talk this weekend. As many of you know I am new to this and have not played yet. The chance is right around the corner and I am looking forward to it.
We have taken different sincerios(sp?) you know what if this or that.
We have decided until I am comfy the big No thank you will be put out there to any offer of seperate room play. If I trust my playmate then maybe ya.
Now similar problem as the ignore to couples only. I know people dont read the profiles or responce to emails. Dog and I are fit people looking for fit people. Not super models, just people who enjoy an active lifestyle, we are forever getting emails from people who don't come anywhere near what we are looking for. Theres a comment like you are really hot, wana play this weekend. UMMM no and I have said no to one couple 5 times and I still get an email from them. WHY??
We have it stated that Dog is allergic to nicotine, and yet we get email from smokers.
Now if and only if there is a serious connection Dog has said he will load up on allergy meds to get him through the night, but not a total stranger.
I love to read the profiles, I find most of them interesting, some funny, and some I think what the heck are they talking about. So really as great as some of the pics are. The profiles are where its at.
I am not a fan of choosing a book by its cover. If the profile fits and they are a fun couple I can get past most all outward apperances.
Read the profiles people you could be missing your next great date if you only check out the wrapping and not the package.
It is getting late and I tend to ramble when I am tired so I will stop.
Your friend,
Prettylady

[MrsVan]

MrVan and I have actually only ran into this type of issue with single males and that is why we have this listed in our profile. We have found single guys that I may have had an interest in however once we would get to talking to them we would find out that they wanted me to meet them alone. That is not going to happen! I do not play with a single guy without MrVan not only because of how that would feel or look to me but also for safety issues.

MrVan and I do play seperate with couples when we are fulfilling a 3some with that couple. It is not something we do all the time but we do enjoy to be able to do a 3some every now and then with another couple.

MrsVan

[flkeyscouple]

We play together only - and it says that in our profile. In fact, we are so strongly opposed to playing apart that when we are checking out others profiles we will choose not to play with a couple if their profile says they routinely play alone.

This lifestyle, in my opinion, is to add to OUR already wonderful sex life - playing alone doesn't add to OUR anything.

Now I'm not saying we wouldn't do a 3some with another couple we've already met and played with. But normally - even in the 3some - the fourth is there watching. That, to me, is still together.

So, to get back to the OP question, we feel the statement that we play together only IS needed. We've still been solicited to play apart, but that is because so many people simply do not READ the profiles!

Sarah

[WesternSwing]

When we first got into the lifestyle we had the "we only play together" statement in our profile, but is was buried in the text and wasn't the predominate thing you'd see.

We've since changed that policy and our profile reads "we do play solo on occasion."

We've only occasionally had a request to play solo, and usually it is a single male asking to play solo with Mrs. WS. But, this has only happened a couple of times in the past three years.

We have had plenty of single males state they want to play with us together than once a dialog is started try to squeeze me out of the picture to play with Mrs. WS alone, I believe because they have a phobia about not being the only penis in the room or having sex with someone's wife with that someone in the room.

We politely decline these folks and move on.

Mr. WS

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by flkeyscouple

We play together only - and it says that in our profile. In fact, we are so strongly opposed to playing apart that when we are checking out others profiles we will choose not to play with a couple if their profile says they routinely play alone.

Being that we are a couple that plays solo I have to ask this:

Why is it you won't meet a couple that plays solo? What specifically is it about this type of a couple that is unattractive to you as potential play partners?

Mr. WS

[flkeyscouple]

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

Being that we are a couple that plays solo I have to ask this:

Why is it you won't meet a couple that plays solo? What specifically is it about this type of a couple that is unattractive to you as potential play partners?

Mr. WS

Ya know, I almost didn't write that sentence because I was sure it might be taken wrong. What I am TRYING to say is that we, personally, think this whole lifestyle is to add spice to OUR lives, and we therefore stay together through the play - normally at least in the line of sight of the other.

When we are looking through profiles and we don't know anything about the other couple, and their profile says they routinely play apart, we skip them. Because we don't know anything about this couple, how do we know that we won't end up part of some drama. It's just not worth it, in our opinion, when there are so many others out there that seem more our type. We KNOW we are passing on some couples that could be wonderful and secure. But we also feel we are passing on some that might lead to drama. Does any of that make sense?

I guess the whole 'yes, we are a couple but tonight my wife is not feeling good so she's staying home, but I'm still planning on meeting you' type of situation makes us leery of couples that say they routinely play alone.

Now, in your case, Western Swing, I haven't looked at your profile but it seems to me that you said your profile says 'on occasion' you play apart. That is not 'routinely' play apart. I doubt we would have skipped your profile because of what you said, but to be honest, if we found another profile that looked equally interesting and said 'we only play together', we would have put more emphasis on that profile!

I hope this explains my thought process without insulting anyone!

Sarah

[VanHlebar]

Like MrsVan already stated, we usually only get this from single guys. We did however get asked once from a couple if we would mind if MrsVan played with them. At the time, we were extremely new the the LS and I wasn't ready for that yet.

Now though, I am more than happy to lend MrsVan out to couples that we have met and played with and gotten comfortable with so that they can have FFM 3some. We know how difficult it is to find that elusive single bi-female and well, if MrsVan is interested why not let them enjoy themselves? The key for both of us is that we have to have already met and played with the couple and most likely we had to have played a few times to establish a comfort level. I don't mind being left out if it is by my choice, but not if I feel I am being forced out.

When this happens sometimes I will go with MrsVan and watch or take pics if they want, sometimes I will stay home and watch via Webcam if the couple has one or sometimes I will just stay home and hear all about it when MrsVan gets back. facelick

-Van