Where Do You Draw The Line?

OhioCouple · 07-08-2002, 01:51 PM

We have been swinging with this couple since we started and have become fairly good friends. We chat often, e-mail or phone each other, IM and that sort of thing talking often about non sex related issues, kids, life etc.

On an outing several weeks ago, we agreed to go to seperate rooms for sex which none of us had a problem with. (We were at a club).

The sex was great as usual, but the difference came when he wanted to lay in bed and discuss personal matters as if we were either lovers or married to each other. This made me very uncomfortable. As I didn't want it to appear as one of those WHAM BAM THANK YA MAA'M kinda thingies (how I love that word)

, I let him talk for a little bit and then started suggesting that we should go and find out what the rest of the crew was up to and proceeded to encourage getting dressed and leaving the room.

I believe he was just trying to get some things off of his chest, but I felt that it should be reserved for his wife either privately or at the table with all of us, in conversation and not in a private area with me after we had just had sex.

I suppose my question is, does getting to know your partners well, create a potential problem? Has anyone else experienced this?

My husband and I talked about this and have come to the agreement that we will not swing in separate rooms with this couple again as in talking about it, I found out that his wife had been chatting with him online about things that he felt he should not be a listening ear to also.
Is this what they call the clinging vine type?
Although they don't seem to be that way, or is it just that the comfort level is there?

Any input on the topic would be greatly appreciated!

Lori

m & j · 07-08-2002, 02:08 PM

my first impression is to wonder what kind of personal matters? i don't mean to pry, but, you say you all have been intimate, and friendly, discussing non-lifestyle related topics. that does lend toward the comfort level being there as ou have asked.
but again, not understanding the context, i would say, like in any other situation, gracefully change the subject, make a joke/evade with humor, or simply say that there are some things better left unspoken.
btw, love your signature. who's the author?

OhioCouple · 07-08-2002, 02:48 PM

M&J,

I probably didn't phrase my questions correctly. By personal matters, I didn't mean anything that we probably hadn't talked about before as a group, but it was the fact of kicking back and just wanting to lay there and talk like you would intimatly with your significant other after great sex. That is what made me uncomfortable. Had the conversation been one that was shared with all of us in a non-intimate environment, I would have been fine with it and kicked right in with opinions etc. Perhaps it is just me? I only know that it made me uncomfortable.

As for the signature line, my youngest daughter sent that to me several weeks ago as sort of a pick me up...I have no clue who the author could be or if she wrote it her self. She is a journalism major.

Lori

***JustAskJulie*** · 07-08-2002, 02:55 PM

quote:
Originally posted by OhioCouple:
M&J,

I probably didn't phrase my questions correctly. By personal matters, I didn't mean anything that we probably hadn't talked about before as a group, but it was the fact of kicking back and just wanting to lay there and talk like you would intimatly with your significant other after great sex. That is what made me uncomfortable. Had the conversation been one that was shared with all of us in a non-intimate environment, I would have been fine with it and kicked right in with opinions etc. Perhaps it is just me? I only know that it made me uncomfortable.
Lori

Lori,

When the 4 of you play together as a group (say at one of your homes) do you all just kick back afterwards and talk while still lying around the house naked?

As long as the issues being discussed weren't things you wouldn't otherwise talk about I don't see it as a major problem but I can understand how you could feel uncomfortable. That being the case since you are all good friends perhaps the 4 of you should sit down and talk to each other as a group and establish some comfort zones.

Obviously you consider these people to be friends outside of the sexual issues and evidently they feel the same way about you, if not a little moreso. To the point where they feel as comfortable just lying around naked talking as they do having sex with you or going out to dinner with you.

OhioCouple · 07-08-2002, 10:02 PM

Julie,

This I am sure is something within me, because yes, we do kick back and talk about whatever when we are all together. Usually though, we are cuddled up with our spouses. This just was really strange to me and a lot could have to do with the fact that it was the first time that we had gone solo. Nothing was discussed that we don't talk about on a regular basis via other outlets.

I suppose the newbie in me is coming out.

Lori [Frown]

Quin · 07-08-2002, 10:38 PM

quote:
Originally posted by OhioCouple:
Julie,

This I am sure is something within me, because yes, we do kick back and talk about whatever when we are all together. Usually though, we are cuddled up with our spouses. This just was really strange to me and a lot could have to do with the fact that it was the first time that we had gone solo. Nothing was discussed that we don't talk about on a regular basis via other outlets.

I suppose the newbie in me is coming out.

Lori

Lori,
I think I know what you're talking about and yeah, I think it's probably a good idea to not go separate ways again but the four of you to remain in one room. This kind of intimate,loverish kind of chit chat afterwards is the very reason I prefer to have more than me and the person in the room. Of course tho, with me, the more the merrier. [LOL]

So that situation usually doesn't come up but it has once or twice when I was with this one wife in particular (her husband encouraged us to be together even when he was present and well, we did [Angel or Devil]

). With her, I was able to tell her that it made me uncomfortable (especially if she was talking about him, even tho it wasn't anything bad). She was cool about it, tho I don't know how a male would react if I had said the same thing to him. I'm one all for avoid certain circumstances if at all possible and the best way to do this would be not to be *alone* with him.

VOTE FOR JULIE!! [Blowjob]

Quin

OhioCouple · 07-09-2002, 12:57 AM

Thanks for the support Quin. I was beginning to think I was nuts or something. The M half said I was being phobic although we both agreed to not swing separately with them again. You expressed it exactly when talking about the intimate chit chat. May as well have lit a ciggarette and poured a scotch, and reflected on the day at hand, like something out of a 1930's movie. For me it crossed the boundries.

I do consider myself to be very sexually open, but I am not open to intimacy with another person in the bedroom alone. That is what I have a husband and friends for.

Heck, this whole thread gets me darn near as much as the Pledge of Allegience, but in a different way! [ROFL]

At least I know I am not crazy!

Lori

incommunicado · 07-09-2002, 01:52 AM

I understand how you feel. When I was in college, I was sleeping with a friend of mine, briefly. The sex was great and she was enthusiastic and generous. But, afterwards, she would get all affectionate and cuddly, wanting me to stay the night and cuddle like we were dating. It made me feel awkward, like she had to pretend afterwards, just for a little bit, that there was more to us than friendship and sex. I figured there had to be compromise between full after-glow, and jumping up, pulling on my clothes and saying "I gotta go...I got a...thing." but I never figured it out.

But, now I think I understand better. You have (if I don't misunderstand your postings) formed a friendship with these people. You are intimate on more than just a sexual level. They may be more comfortable letting the intimacy of friendship cross over into the bedroom, because, you are still friends. You, however, are weirded out by this, thinking there is more to it. If you were playing golf or bowling, the conversation might be the same. Why should it be different if you are having sex?

I wouldn't sweat it unless they start start talking about relationship problems or showing strong signs of getting romantically attached.

Hope this helps.

OhioCouple · 07-09-2002, 09:06 AM

quote:
Originally posted by incommunicado:

If you were playing golf or bowling, the conversation might be the same. Why should it be different if you are having sex?

I wouldn't sweat it unless they start start talking about relationship problems or showing strong signs of getting romantically attached.

You are exactly right, and this helps me to understand it a little more. I suppose there really isn't any difference as neither of them have talked about relationship problems, it has just been "normal" topics that we always talk about, but we had always done them in a group setting.

They have been swinging for several years, where as we are relatively new. I suppose I just freaked as it was a new experience to me. Mind you I did not relay this to them, and we do still talk often, sometimes daily via e-mail or IM, etc., and if we were to stop swinging today, I firmly believe that we would remain friends.

Just another level of learning I suppose.

Lori [Eek!]

***JustAskJulie*** · 07-09-2002, 10:45 AM

quote:
Originally posted by OhioCouple:
Thanks for the support Quin. I was beginning to think I was nuts or something. The M half said I was being phobic although we both agreed to not swing separately with them again. You expressed it exactly when talking about the intimate chit chat. May as well have lit a ciggarette and poured a scotch, and reflected on the day at hand, like something out of a 1930's movie. For me it crossed the boundries.
....
At least I know I am not crazy!

Lori

Nah, definately not crazy

We all have our own boundaries for what makes use feel uncomfortable and what doesn't. My earlier posts were more about the idea that I didn't think HE was crossing a boundary by talking to you that way (at least not a boundary that had previously been set). However, this event has shown you that you need to set a boundary there.

For me I can't deal with other partners being really intimate with me in other ways. Soft touches and carresses seem a little too intimate for a casual sexual encounter to me and always make me feel uncomfortable if someone starts that.
Lying in bed talking to them that way may make me feel that way as well depending on who it is. I tend to be more like a guy when it come to sex tho. "ok we're done I can go now..." Reminds me of "When Harry Met Sally" and Billy Crystal talking about how long does he have to lay there in bed with her once the deed is done.

OhioCouple · 07-09-2002, 01:15 PM

quote:

For me I can't deal with other partners being really intimate with me in other ways. Soft touches and carresses seem a little too intimate for a casual sexual encounter to me and always make me feel uncomfortable if someone starts that.

I tend to be more like a guy when it come to sex tho. "ok we're done I can go now..."

Julie,

That is EXACTLY how it felt in addition to the conversation. I do not think it was anything meant out of looking for a romantic connection of any sort, but it just felt strange.

You are right about setting the boundries for the next get together, and I am sure that over the course of our chatting we can establish that in a manner that will not offend anyone as we do not wish to do that. They are very nice people.

I do think tho that I am one of those types that may tend to say "ok, we are done now, can I go?". Perhaps that is my way of seperating non-marital sex (sorry if that sounds so harsh), from friendship and the relationship with my husband.

Any luck on the kissy face graemlin yet? LOL

Lori

incommunicado · 07-09-2002, 01:56 PM

Where as my wife and I are the opposite. We need to connect on a mental and emotional level and have sex that is both passionate and caring. We want to be able to hang out afterwards, or get dressed and go see a movie or whatever. We don't like sex that ends with "well, thanks, gott go."

We are essentially looking for the same thing in our extracurricular sex partners that we would look for in a relationship. It's simply understood that the emotional line beyond friendship will not be crossed.

OhioCouple · 07-09-2002, 02:23 PM

quote:
Originally posted by incommunicado:
Where as my wife and I are the opposite. We need to connect on a mental and emotional level and have sex that is both passionate and caring. We want to be able to hang out afterwards, or get dressed and go see a movie or whatever. We don't like sex that ends with "well, thanks, gott go."

We are essentially looking for the same thing in our extracurricular sex partners that we would look for in a relationship. It's simply understood that the emotional line beyond friendship will not be crossed.

I may have given the wrong impression here. We both prefer to "know" our swinging partners, and we do participate in non-swinging activities, chit chat etc both before and after with each couple that we swing with. The original post referred to swinging solo and being intimatly alone with the other partner. Julie's post which I think you are referring to stated "casual sexual encounters". If a casual encounter that I met up with, whether it be at a club private party etc....started to caress or hug on me after just meeting me, I would be HIGHLY turned off.

Score 0 for the parties involved.

Lori

***JustAskJulie*** · 07-09-2002, 02:30 PM

By casual sexual encounter I mean pretty much any sexual encounter that isn't between me and my hubby for the most part. But not just limited to just met em fucks or the like.

For me, it's just that those extra touches and looks and what not tend to signafy too much of an attachment from the other person. I have no problems seperating sex from emotions and when I am with other people I prefer them to be able to make that seperation as well. If they can't then there is too much of a possibility of emotions becoming a problem later.

quote:
Originally posted by OhioCouple:

Any luck on the kissy face graemlin yet? LOL

Lori

How are these? [Kissing]

OhioCouple · 07-09-2002, 02:48 PM

Love it Julie! I owe ya one! [Kissing]

[ 07-09-2002, 02:50 PM: Message edited by: OhioCouple ]

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07-08-2002, 01:51 PM	#1 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,619 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	Where Do You Draw The Line? We have been swinging with this couple since we started and have become fairly good friends. We chat often, e-mail or phone each other, IM and that sort of thing talking often about non sex related issues, kids, life etc. On an outing several weeks ago, we agreed to go to seperate rooms for sex which none of us had a problem with. (We were at a club). The sex was great as usual, but the difference came when he wanted to lay in bed and discuss personal matters as if we were either lovers or married to each other. This made me very uncomfortable. As I didn't want it to appear as one of those WHAM BAM THANK YA MAA'M kinda thingies (how I love that word) , I let him talk for a little bit and then started suggesting that we should go and find out what the rest of the crew was up to and proceeded to encourage getting dressed and leaving the room. I believe he was just trying to get some things off of his chest, but I felt that it should be reserved for his wife either privately or at the table with all of us, in conversation and not in a private area with me after we had just had sex. I suppose my question is, does getting to know your partners well, create a potential problem? Has anyone else experienced this? My husband and I talked about this and have come to the agreement that we will not swing in separate rooms with this couple again as in talking about it, I found out that his wife had been chatting with him online about things that he felt he should not be a listening ear to also. Is this what they call the clinging vine type? Although they don't seem to be that way, or is it just that the comfort level is there? Any input on the topic would be greatly appreciated! Lori
	__________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

07-08-2002, 02:08 PM	#2 (permalink)
m & j Active Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 14 Location: florida	my first impression is to wonder what kind of personal matters? i don't mean to pry, but, you say you all have been intimate, and friendly, discussing non-lifestyle related topics. that does lend toward the comfort level being there as ou have asked. but again, not understanding the context, i would say, like in any other situation, gracefully change the subject, make a joke/evade with humor, or simply say that there are some things better left unspoken. btw, love your signature. who's the author?
	__________________ he is m, she is j

07-08-2002, 02:48 PM	#3 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,619 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	M&J, I probably didn't phrase my questions correctly. By personal matters, I didn't mean anything that we probably hadn't talked about before as a group, but it was the fact of kicking back and just wanting to lay there and talk like you would intimatly with your significant other after great sex. That is what made me uncomfortable. Had the conversation been one that was shared with all of us in a non-intimate environment, I would have been fine with it and kicked right in with opinions etc. Perhaps it is just me? I only know that it made me uncomfortable. As for the signature line, my youngest daughter sent that to me several weeks ago as sort of a pick me up...I have no clue who the author could be or if she wrote it her self. She is a journalism major. Lori
	__________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

07-08-2002, 02:55 PM	#4 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,288 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	quote: Originally posted by OhioCouple: M&J, I probably didn't phrase my questions correctly. By personal matters, I didn't mean anything that we probably hadn't talked about before as a group, but it was the fact of kicking back and just wanting to lay there and talk like you would intimatly with your significant other after great sex. That is what made me uncomfortable. Had the conversation been one that was shared with all of us in a non-intimate environment, I would have been fine with it and kicked right in with opinions etc. Perhaps it is just me? I only know that it made me uncomfortable. Lori Lori, When the 4 of you play together as a group (say at one of your homes) do you all just kick back afterwards and talk while still lying around the house naked? As long as the issues being discussed weren't things you wouldn't otherwise talk about I don't see it as a major problem but I can understand how you could feel uncomfortable. That being the case since you are all good friends perhaps the 4 of you should sit down and talk to each other as a group and establish some comfort zones. Obviously you consider these people to be friends outside of the sexual issues and evidently they feel the same way about you, if not a little moreso. To the point where they feel as comfortable just lying around naked talking as they do having sex with you or going out to dinner with you.
	__________________ Julie - your hostess The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

07-08-2002, 10:02 PM	#5 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,619 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	Julie, This I am sure is something within me, because yes, we do kick back and talk about whatever when we are all together. Usually though, we are cuddled up with our spouses. This just was really strange to me and a lot could have to do with the fact that it was the first time that we had gone solo. Nothing was discussed that we don't talk about on a regular basis via other outlets. I suppose the newbie in me is coming out. Lori
	__________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

07-08-2002, 10:38 PM	#6 (permalink)
Quin Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,136 Location: Ohio Status: Single Female	quote: Originally posted by OhioCouple: Julie, This I am sure is something within me, because yes, we do kick back and talk about whatever when we are all together. Usually though, we are cuddled up with our spouses. This just was really strange to me and a lot could have to do with the fact that it was the first time that we had gone solo. Nothing was discussed that we don't talk about on a regular basis via other outlets. I suppose the newbie in me is coming out. Lori Lori, I think I know what you're talking about and yeah, I think it's probably a good idea to not go separate ways again but the four of you to remain in one room. This kind of intimate,loverish kind of chit chat afterwards is the very reason I prefer to have more than me and the person in the room. Of course tho, with me, the more the merrier. So that situation usually doesn't come up but it has once or twice when I was with this one wife in particular (her husband encouraged us to be together even when he was present and well, we did ). With her, I was able to tell her that it made me uncomfortable (especially if she was talking about him, even tho it wasn't anything bad). She was cool about it, tho I don't know how a male would react if I had said the same thing to him. I'm one all for avoid certain circumstances if at all possible and the best way to do this would be not to be alone with him. VOTE FOR JULIE!! Quin
	__________________ One thing about me is that I'm consistant in my behavior, my thoughts, and my posting. I don't sell out or change for any reason outside of my own self wanting to. What you see is what you get: today, tomorrow and every day after that.

07-09-2002, 12:57 AM	#7 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,619 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	Thanks for the support Quin. I was beginning to think I was nuts or something. The M half said I was being phobic although we both agreed to not swing separately with them again. You expressed it exactly when talking about the intimate chit chat. May as well have lit a ciggarette and poured a scotch, and reflected on the day at hand, like something out of a 1930's movie. For me it crossed the boundries. I do consider myself to be very sexually open, but I am not open to intimacy with another person in the bedroom alone. That is what I have a husband and friends for. Heck, this whole thread gets me darn near as much as the Pledge of Allegience, but in a different way! At least I know I am not crazy! Lori
	__________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

07-09-2002, 01:52 AM	#8 (permalink)
incommunicado Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 198 Location: Baltimore, MD	I understand how you feel. When I was in college, I was sleeping with a friend of mine, briefly. The sex was great and she was enthusiastic and generous. But, afterwards, she would get all affectionate and cuddly, wanting me to stay the night and cuddle like we were dating. It made me feel awkward, like she had to pretend afterwards, just for a little bit, that there was more to us than friendship and sex. I figured there had to be compromise between full after-glow, and jumping up, pulling on my clothes and saying "I gotta go...I got a...thing." but I never figured it out. But, now I think I understand better. You have (if I don't misunderstand your postings) formed a friendship with these people. You are intimate on more than just a sexual level. They may be more comfortable letting the intimacy of friendship cross over into the bedroom, because, you are still friends. You, however, are weirded out by this, thinking there is more to it. If you were playing golf or bowling, the conversation might be the same. Why should it be different if you are having sex? I wouldn't sweat it unless they start start talking about relationship problems or showing strong signs of getting romantically attached. Hope this helps.

07-09-2002, 09:06 AM	#9 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,619 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	quote: Originally posted by incommunicado: If you were playing golf or bowling, the conversation might be the same. Why should it be different if you are having sex? I wouldn't sweat it unless they start start talking about relationship problems or showing strong signs of getting romantically attached. You are exactly right, and this helps me to understand it a little more. I suppose there really isn't any difference as neither of them have talked about relationship problems, it has just been "normal" topics that we always talk about, but we had always done them in a group setting. They have been swinging for several years, where as we are relatively new. I suppose I just freaked as it was a new experience to me. Mind you I did not relay this to them, and we do still talk often, sometimes daily via e-mail or IM, etc., and if we were to stop swinging today, I firmly believe that we would remain friends. Just another level of learning I suppose. Lori
	__________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

07-09-2002, 10:45 AM	#10 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,288 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	quote: Originally posted by OhioCouple: Thanks for the support Quin. I was beginning to think I was nuts or something. The M half said I was being phobic although we both agreed to not swing separately with them again. You expressed it exactly when talking about the intimate chit chat. May as well have lit a ciggarette and poured a scotch, and reflected on the day at hand, like something out of a 1930's movie. For me it crossed the boundries. .... At least I know I am not crazy! Lori Nah, definately not crazy We all have our own boundaries for what makes use feel uncomfortable and what doesn't. My earlier posts were more about the idea that I didn't think HE was crossing a boundary by talking to you that way (at least not a boundary that had previously been set). However, this event has shown you that you need to set a boundary there. For me I can't deal with other partners being really intimate with me in other ways. Soft touches and carresses seem a little too intimate for a casual sexual encounter to me and always make me feel uncomfortable if someone starts that. Lying in bed talking to them that way may make me feel that way as well depending on who it is. I tend to be more like a guy when it come to sex tho. "ok we're done I can go now..." Reminds me of "When Harry Met Sally" and Billy Crystal talking about how long does he have to lay there in bed with her once the deed is done.
	__________________ Julie - your hostess The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

07-09-2002, 01:15 PM	#11 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,619 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	quote: For me I can't deal with other partners being really intimate with me in other ways. Soft touches and carresses seem a little too intimate for a casual sexual encounter to me and always make me feel uncomfortable if someone starts that. I tend to be more like a guy when it come to sex tho. "ok we're done I can go now..." Julie, That is EXACTLY how it felt in addition to the conversation. I do not think it was anything meant out of looking for a romantic connection of any sort, but it just felt strange. You are right about setting the boundries for the next get together, and I am sure that over the course of our chatting we can establish that in a manner that will not offend anyone as we do not wish to do that. They are very nice people. I do think tho that I am one of those types that may tend to say "ok, we are done now, can I go?". Perhaps that is my way of seperating non-marital sex (sorry if that sounds so harsh), from friendship and the relationship with my husband. Any luck on the kissy face graemlin yet? LOL Lori
	__________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

07-09-2002, 01:56 PM	#12 (permalink)
incommunicado Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 198 Location: Baltimore, MD	Where as my wife and I are the opposite. We need to connect on a mental and emotional level and have sex that is both passionate and caring. We want to be able to hang out afterwards, or get dressed and go see a movie or whatever. We don't like sex that ends with "well, thanks, gott go." We are essentially looking for the same thing in our extracurricular sex partners that we would look for in a relationship. It's simply understood that the emotional line beyond friendship will not be crossed.

07-09-2002, 02:23 PM	#13 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,619 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	quote: Originally posted by incommunicado: Where as my wife and I are the opposite. We need to connect on a mental and emotional level and have sex that is both passionate and caring. We want to be able to hang out afterwards, or get dressed and go see a movie or whatever. We don't like sex that ends with "well, thanks, gott go." We are essentially looking for the same thing in our extracurricular sex partners that we would look for in a relationship. It's simply understood that the emotional line beyond friendship will not be crossed. I may have given the wrong impression here. We both prefer to "know" our swinging partners, and we do participate in non-swinging activities, chit chat etc both before and after with each couple that we swing with. The original post referred to swinging solo and being intimatly alone with the other partner. Julie's post which I think you are referring to stated "casual sexual encounters". If a casual encounter that I met up with, whether it be at a club private party etc....started to caress or hug on me after just meeting me, I would be HIGHLY turned off. Score 0 for the parties involved. Lori
	__________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

07-09-2002, 02:30 PM	#14 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,288 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	By casual sexual encounter I mean pretty much any sexual encounter that isn't between me and my hubby for the most part. But not just limited to just met em fucks or the like. For me, it's just that those extra touches and looks and what not tend to signafy too much of an attachment from the other person. I have no problems seperating sex from emotions and when I am with other people I prefer them to be able to make that seperation as well. If they can't then there is too much of a possibility of emotions becoming a problem later. quote: Originally posted by OhioCouple: Any luck on the kissy face graemlin yet? LOL Lori How are these?
	__________________ Julie - your hostess The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

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One Line Replies	jcbicouple	Doing the Personals	13	11-18-2003 08:43 PM

07-09-2002, 02:48 PM	#15 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,619 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	Love it Julie! I owe ya one! [ 07-09-2002, 02:50 PM: Message edited by: OhioCouple ]
	__________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

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