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  1. #16
    Swingers Board Addict fun4Ds's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Current Predicament

    [QUOTE=Ave Satanas;301960]:
    I go by the name Ave Satanas
    ,

    why?... please do tell.. if you woudnt mind.

    it seems important to you, that we know who you are. before we hear what happned in your thread.
    Last edited by fun4Ds; 01-16-2008 at 02:37 AM.

  2. #17
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    Default Re: My Current Predicament

    Actually, mentioning that I go by that name was more of an introduction than anything else, it wasn't really relevant to the thread.

    But if you're curious about the name itself, it is a term used in a religion I practice. I don't name it too much because doing so is akin to trolling anyone who is Christian, and I don't want to alienate myself or anyone else. Suffice it to say that it is written in my bible that practitioners of my religion are welcome to engage in all manner of sexual activity, be it heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, asexual, or polysexual (which I know isn't a word but should be, because it describes swingers pretty well).

    I should also take this moment to address something I had missed, which was LikeMinds mentioning that in some of my older posts I had described myself as a jealous, temperamental, and so on. I assure you that this has changed pretty dramatically for the most part. Did I mention that we engaged in MMF activities prior to this current situation that went pretty well. The only reason those stopped is we felt that we were hindering the third party from ever getting a steady girlfriend, and chose to stop for his benefit.

    I've actually gotten over jealousy completely. The whole protectiveness and temper thing... Look guys, I know I shouldn't have hit him. There were better things to do. I made a bad decision because I was seeing my girlfriend cry, and thankfully got out of it better than I could have. But there are a couple of issues I have, because there seems to be a lot of focus on my maturity because I hit a guy. First, I wouldn't have hit any guy in that situation, but circumstances were different here. I'm still great friends with this guy, I can't stress that enough, and I'm not going to hit him if the exact same thing happens again. Maybe the hitting thing comes with youth and being stupid kids, but I never had any intention of beating him to death or anything. It was a frustration thing, a stupid thing to do, but I refuse to believe that I'm the only guy on Swingers Board who's given another guy a punch in the noggin.

    I'm having an issue, because while the anonymity here means that's I can safely ask for good advice from everyone, it also ensures that none of you TRULY know me, and I think that it kind of skews your opinion about me and my behavior due to this situation. Honestly, I don't hit dudes every day. I actually spend a lot of time breaking up fights (I work at a middle school), and if it had been any one of you I was swinging with in this situation, I can promise I wouldn't have hit you. It was a friendship thing.

    I've just now become paranoid that I'm persona non grata because of what I did, and the whole fact that an hour later we were playing video games and everything was cool is being ignored. I want to made sure I'm not thought of too badly.

  3. #18
    Swingers Board Addict fun4Ds's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Current Predicament

    i think you should worry more about growing up, and having a good healthy relationship with a woman you love, and respect, before you pursue the swinging lifestyle.

    feel free to post how things go the next time.
    Last edited by fun4Ds; 01-16-2008 at 06:38 AM.

  4. #19
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    Default Re: My Current Predicament

    I'm having an issue, because while the anonymity here means that's I can safely ask for good advice from everyone, it also ensures that none of you TRULY know me, and I think that it kind of skews your opinion about me and my behavior due to this situation.
    Sad fact of message boards. We don't know you and you don't know us. It also means you get what you get outta it.

    You have had no drama, good MFM's but you have also had drama with a single female? And now a couple?

    Go thru, in your mind, how each situation turned into drama and issues and consider what you and your g/f could do different to stop the drama...you can not change others but you can alter how you two view things and lessen your and her distress.

    Do not blame any of your responses on the others, take full responsibilty for how you act and react and figure out what you could think and do different.
    Evel Knievel died of natural causes.

  5. #20
    Is it too cold for beer?
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    Default Re: My Current Predicament

    Punching anyone for an imagined slight is immature no matter what YOU want to believe. Swinging should be (at least it is for us and anyone that we socialize with) about enhancing our sex, not replacing it. If we are in a siuation (as we have been on occasion) where things do not work as we want or expect we just adjorn to each other. That is where things have started and where they will end. I get pissed if someone slights Mrs. Cpl, btu I also would be MATURE enough to realize that if he had "issues" the night before, he may have them this night too, and Mrs. Cpl can always get me where I need to be even if someone else can't. I don't care how old you are, but grow up.

  6. #21
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    Default Re: My Current Predicament

    You said you just met the guy and then you talk about how great friends you are. Enough to hit him, but yet you guys are so close that you understand each other and he forgives you.. ahh ok..

  7. #22
    Swingers Board Addict safireblues's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Current Predicament

    This is the most terrifying thread I have ever read. You don't swing with co-workers, you don't expect foursomes, you don't call people who love their girlfriends and express that "gay", you don't make fun of someone for feeling weird and missing his girlfriend, you DEFINITELY don't ever punch someone...

    I don't even know where to start with this except you and your girl should come with a warning label and huge amounts of caution tape.

  8. #23
    Swingers Board Addict Tybee Swing's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Current Predicament

    Quote Originally Posted by Ave Satanas View Post
    The next morning the other two come wake us up super early, because I've got to take him to the airport.

    No problem, I had agreed to that. I even sat through the half-hour long, chick-flick-style goodbye between he and his girl.
    Dude, the primary reason that he was even there was to see his long-distance girlfriend. They only had a little time. They live very far apart, and I'm guessing they spend very little time together....right?

    Couples in long-distance relationships, missing each other and obviously in love, aren't going to be primarily looking for outside hook-ups in their brief time together. In fact, due to their circumstances, I'm surprised they spent that much time with another couple, at all. Most couples in that situation would be more in "honeymoon" mode, looking to be alone together.

    You seem to have little tolerance for what you call "chick flick gay love", but babe, these people are madly in love and spend precious little time together. Yeah, they shouldn't have been wishy-washy with you about whether swapping was going to happen or not, but it sounds like you could have picked up the cues (their love, the long distance thing, the brief time to see each other), and let it go.

  9. #24
    Suffering from Hedo2 DIF djjwp's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Current Predicament

    Please take 15 years off and give a call in the morning. Serious maturity issues here.
    Life is only as good as you make it!

  10. #25
    Swingers Board Addict BiloxiCouple's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Current Predicament

    People don't change overnight. You are who you are. You're history will probably repeat itself.


    Whether someone says "no" or just shrugs you off or walks away, it is still a "no".

    I would like to see where you are at in 15 years in the lifestyle also. Should make for another good story.
    There are fish in the water that haven't been caught yet.

  11. #26
    Swingers Board Addict ncmd_couple's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Current Predicament

    Youth, yes, were we different many years ago? Yes we were. Did we fuck up? Yes we did. Damn, I wish that I had this communications path even one year ago. We all live and learn. He will do so as well, and where he is 15 years from now means nothing to him now. Give him a break.

    S
    Try anything once, twice if it is fun, three times if it is real good!

  12. #27
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    Default Re: My Current Predicament

    Question: the hubby noticed you said 'foursome' and then turned it into swapping in separate rooms...which isn't exactly 4sum it's two 2sums.

    Any chance the other couple would have been happier with all four of you doing stuff..where he would still get to be with his love and you with yours and sometimes with each others? Or even trade off FMF or MFM?
    Evel Knievel died of natural causes.

  13. #28
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    Default Re: My Current Predicament

    no apolgies here, this is why we don't play with early 20 somethings, that we don't know very, very well. You may have learned one lesson, but it will take many more before you mature enough to play with.
    there are a few 20 somethings out there ready, but knowing which ones are ready takes time.

  14. #29
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    Default Re: My Current Predicament

    Since I’m kind of being attacked from all sides, I think that after this last post I’m going to do my best to just avoid speaking anymore. What began as a search for advice has become a bunch of people chastising me for being something that I honestly am not.


    Yeah, I hit him. And things are cool. I just talked to him a couple of hours ago, and he assured me that everything was fine. If there really isn’t another guy who has ever seen a friend of theirs hurt another friends feelings and given him a punch and a ‘what the hell, dude?’ as a way of showing said friend the error of their ways, then there is a much bigger generational gap than I thought.

    I don’t go around punching everyone who has ever hurt my girlfriend’s feelings. I don’t think I’d hit any other swinger on the off chance I ended up in that situation again. The fact is that at that particular moment, it was acceptable, and he thinks so too. I’m not sorry.

    As for them being in love and me being such a dick for ruining what precious little time they had… there’s more to the story than you know. They had only recently gotten back together after a bad breakup involving her cheating on him. I’m not going into any more detail because it’s not really relevant anyway, but it’s sufficient to say that their relationship isn’t nearly as romantic or ideal as many people seem to think.

    And despite all this, just to clear up a fact that I think might have been lost in the rat race to condemn me: I never once hassled him in ANY way for being so outspokenly in love with his girlfriend. Not even jokingly. But I have mentioned before that he had left the room at one point and his own girlfriend complained that she was getting sick of him being in love with him in the same way that a 2nd grader might profess love for his teacher.

    And for the record, my own sister is a lesbian, and I love her regardless. Don’t try and make me out to be prejudiced towards homosexuals when they themselves use the term ‘gay’ in the exact same manner that I have.

    The fact is that this isn’t going to stop me from swinging because I honestly don’t think that I’m wrong here, and whether you want to believe me or not, I’ve never had a problem admitting when I’m wrong. Maybe it’s the medium in which this information is being delivered, but the fact is that no one who can really, honestly say that they know what kind of person I am. Instead, I am made out to be the biggest asshole imaginable.

    And just as a note to miss Safire, my girlfriend did nothing more in this whole predicament than cry. If you intend on making me anathema to the entire forum, then I beseech you to at least do her the courtesy of not lumping her into the same category as me, whether I’m an asshole or not. She’s a much better person than I think I could ever be.

    On final notes, I’m not going to defend my friendship with this guy, nor am I going to admit being in the wrong, nor apologize for my actions. I’d like to note that the whole idea of separate rooms was instated with the intention of helping to quell his nerves. I appreciate the help that I DID receive from some people on this board, and while I disagree with many, I respect your opinions. I’d also like to that ncmd_couple for being the one person I can note who gave me even the slightest benefit of a doubt. Their little bit of defense is appreciated more than they could possibly imagine.

    Thanks for your time.

    -Ave Satanas

  15. #30
    What Would Betty Do? ourrockstarlife's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Current Predicament

    Ave Satanas means Hail Satan, or long live Satan

    Maturity issues maybe? The lifestyle is not for you at this juncture

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