Christian Swingers?

[sweetnnasty]

Are there any christian swingers out there, and what feelings do you have about swinging? Sorry it's not more in detail... just short and sweet. Any advice would be great... thanks.

[JustAskJulie]

Here's a few active topics on the subject:
Swinging and Christianity
sex and religion
getting over past morality issues
Liberated Christians website

You should also check out the Swinging & Religion archive - which is full of closed (no longer active) threads on the topic.

[sweetnnasty]

Thanks I was looking for posts like this but must not have gone back far enough... I am reading them now... thanks.

[jstlkng]

We are Christians and very much interested in the lifestyle. We know several people who are professing Christians and have spoken with them. None of us can find any religious prohibition in the Bible for consensual relations. However, there are many who believe we will go to hell for sharing. As yet, we have not selected a couple to swing with...and we may never...we are fairly certain that we will have a hard time finding a couple with the same beliefs we have.

Mr. & Mrs. Jstlkng

[Carol_Danny]

Originally Posted by jstlkng

None of us can find any religious prohibition in the Bible for consensual relations.

Isn't there some sort of commandment against that??

"Christian Swingers" is an oxymoron if I ever heard one

[jennandjamesinm]

Check out libchrist.com - this can help you deal with what is bothering you

Jenn

[WesternSwing]

Everybody we've played with in the lifestyle have been Christians of one faith or another. The majority in Utah are inactive Mormons. A favorite couple of ours is very devout Catholic and they reconcile swinging with Christianity just fine. They feel its consenting therefore not wrong. It is something they do in their marriage, not outside of it like cheating.

Mr. WS

[intuition897]

Hopefully Mr. & Mrs. Spoomonkey will answer this thread, too; they always have good insights on this topic.

I'm Christian, and a swinger. I have no problem reconciling the two. What I DO have a problem with is finding a church whose doctrines I agree with. I agree with nearly everything, except for the silly concept that a successful marriage = exclusive sex. Period. Mr. intuition and I are very much married, but we are married on our own terms. No one owns our marriage but us, and we do not answer to society. This is a holy union and the only people whose business it is, is ours and God's. When we allow one another the freedom to express ourselves sexually, we are allowing each other to exercise our right to choose. Essentially, this is like a renewing of our vows every time we choose to go home with each other rather than someone else. The longevity of the commitment has no meaning if it isn't given the dignity of any other alternative. So, while it's a risk to allow your spouse the opportunity to choose you again, it forces each of us to take a damn good, hard look at ourselves and assess for ourselves...Are we worth sticking around for? And sex doesn't count. Other partners can potentially offer our spouse the same mind-blowing sexual experience. So what's left? What else do I have to offer, that my partner would stick around for? So when our partner affirms that - yeah! - we are worth something more than just sex, and we DO have something to offer once the bloom of youth has faded. That's the key to longevity of the relationship, I think.

Anyway, this is our view of marriage, and we feel that it is more respectful of the person than a "common" marriage, where sexual exclusivity and a one-time promise are expected. Nay, demanded.

As far as "sex outside of marriage = BAD!" goes, I have to wonder if it was really God's idea to be so paranoid about a bodily function, or if it's a paranoia of our own (human) creation? All things in moderation, right? Well, sex is just another function of the body, like eating and sleeping. It's a drive that we have, an instinct, and as something created by God, it's not a bad thing. It becomes a bad thing when it is abused. When we have sex with others, we go about it in a responsible, conscientious and ethical manner. If we feel others would be harmed in any way by our playing with them, we wouldn't do it. And we wouldn't do it if we felt it would damage our relationship. Can't see how this is wrong.

As I said, hopefully the Spoomonkeys will chime in here and add a few thoughts.

[De and Ci]

Just curious, Do any of the Christians here post messages dealing with swinging on the Christianity.com forums?

[sweetnnasty]

"sex outside of marriage = BAD!" ...... so if we are not together but know about what each other is doing is it still considered outside of marriage? And what if we are together when doing it but not in the same room?

Will never know unless you ask!!

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Carol_Danny

Isn't there some sort of commandment against that??

Nope...

Originally Posted by Carol_Danny

"Christian Swingers" is an oxymoron if I ever heard one

Oxymoron - A rhetorical figure in which incongruous or contradictory terms are combined, as in a deafening silence and a mournful optimist.

I figured an understanding of the word "oxymoron" would help you better identify them...

Since the New Testament raises women above the law's treatment of women being possessions and gives them the same status/freedoms as men... and men through out the Old Testament (and in the New) were pretty much running around doing whatever they wanted with whoever they wanted... And those same men were never really chastised by God for the act of sex, whether within the bonds of marriage or not... In fact, some of these guys were God's examples of living a deeply spiritual life... It is really hard to see how swinging is ever spoken against.

Jealousy, decpetion, hurting others...

Those things are talked about at length...

Swinging?

Not mentioned once...

Swinging and Christianity are not contradictory - but don't expect to be asked to teach Sunday school...

Spoomonkey

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by sweetnnasty

"sex outside of marriage = BAD!" ...... so if we are not together but know about what each other is doing is it still considered outside of marriage?

Well, I've tried debating the merits of swinging with mainstream Christians, and the concensus seems to be that ANY sexual activity that occurs between a married person and someone who is NOT his/her spouse is considered adultery, wrong, sinful, sick, twisted, immature, unhealthy, yada yada yada... Plug the ears, cover the eyes, stick the head in the sand...whatever you do, don't question anything or think for yourself... :rollseyes

All I know is, there's no arguing with a person who is completely unreasonable or unwilling to consider that the beliefs they've been fed could be wrong. So for the sake of keeping peace, I rarely argue with Christians about non-monogamous lifestyles unless they choose to press the issue with me. There's no reason to; I'm not going to change their minds, they're not going to change mine, and frankly it has nothing to do with them anyway. It's none of their business what I do with my soul. Don't think I've visited christianity.com yet, De and Ci. Yet. <EG>

[Coupleinidaho]

Originally Posted by sweetnnasty

"sex outside of marriage = BAD!" ...... so if we are not together but know about what each other is doing is it still considered outside of marriage? And what if we are together when doing it but not in the same room?Will never know unless you ask!!

Does the 10th Commandment bear any relevance here?

"Thou shall not covet your neighbor's wife." The same would apply to your neighbor's husband.

[Carol_Danny]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Oxymoron - A rhetorical figure in which incongruous or contradictory terms are combined, as in a deafening silence and a mournful optimist.

Nope, know exactly what an oxymoron is. Based on the bashing we have personally received the last 20 years from Christian groups, I would say it has become on "oxymoron".

Plus, if you do follow the 10 Commandments, I would say that Number 7 puts it in the proper light:

7th Commandment; Exodus 20:Verse 14 (King James Version) - "Thou shalt not commit adultery."
- This referred to a man engaging in sexual intercourse with a woman who was either married or betrothed to another man.

Since most Swingers are married, I would say that it is very contradictory to Christian teachings, and therefore the idea of "Christian Swingers" is a great example of an oxymoron (by your own definition)

-- Danny (the lapsed Catholic

[Carol_Danny]

Originally Posted by Coupleinidaho

Does the 10th Commandment bear any relevance here?

"Thou shall not covet your neighbor's wife." The same would apply to your neighbor's husband.

The 10th Commandment; Exodus 20:Verse 17 (KJV) "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's." was more concerned with wanting possession of something that someone else had, with the wife being considered just a possession. A woman, in biblical times, was considered to be the property first of her father, and after marriage, of her husband.