What kills a relationship?

[Flori_DAMAN]

This brings up an interesting thought. What is it that kills a relationship? Is it that they shouldnt have been together in the first place? Is it that one controls or one follows? Does swinging destroy relationships? Id bet that bringing up the idea has killed a few.

John

[Weezie]

John, those are all questions I've asked myself over the past few days.

[Flori_DAMAN]

Originally posted by Weezie
John, those are all questions I've asked myself over the past few days.

Life answers them, but listen closely to it.

John

[JustAskJulie]

I thought this was an interesting quesiton worthy of it's own topic so I split it off from where it was originally.

As far as my thoughts, I guess it depends on the relationship, as everyone is different.

I think one of the biggest relationship killers tho is Lack of Communication.

[M&B]

Here, it is Irreconcilable Differences.

In some cases, it is because it is Wednesday, and nothing good is on TV.

I am being facetious, I know.

I truly believe that in many cases, the real reason that a relationship dies is because "it can". By this, I mean that it is because it is allowed.

We allow ourselves to become complacent, too comfortable, too predictable and too much in a rut.

Why communicate when a game is on? If you're getting sex, doesn't that mean things are OK? If the kids would just shut up, I would be nicer. If I had more money, she would give me more sex.

It is the end of trying that kills a relationship. Why do we stop trying?

[EternallySingle]

Sometimes you get involved in a relationship thinking that you can bring the other person around to your way of thinking even though you know their feelings on a certain subject are just as strong as yours. When they don't change, it becomes a personal blow to your ego/pride/honor/psyche/well being because you really thought you could change when they saw how happy they could be doing/believing what you do/believe.

For example, I dated a woman for eight months who couldn't deal with the fact that I was non-denominational and would not join her church. To me that would be as life altering as asking her to go to a swing club or nude beach, which she told me she was totally against. I dropped the thought because I was happy just being with her. She couldn't work past the church thing, however, and we split up.

[M&B]

I think you touched on something.

People do try to change people. Now, I would not stick my neck out and say which sex is most likely to do this, but, one does this more than the other.

People meet each other and chemistry happens. During a period of getting to know each other, only the good things are paid attention to. Flaws are noticed, but, put in the background of people's awareness- for later. So, with all of the lovey-dovey feelings, what is concentrated on is the euphoria- the feeling of being in love.

If they enter a more serious relationship, then, over time, I think that the flaws start to stand out more. That is when the attempt to change the other person starts up.

It is funny how people can fall in love with a person, and end up wanting to love another person in the same body.

It the idea of an ideal.

No, B. I don't mean you. And yes, I will try harder to see that you are always right. And, no, I don't really mind if we wear those matching shirts and shorts. Yes dear.

edited: kidding of course.

[alabamafuntonig]

spontanios combustion can happen with the slightest spark! its the fuel that keeps the fire burning! take away the fuel and the fire dies! john look deep into the soul and find the fuel ! for if you do your fires will never die ,they may smolder once and a while but never die!

[M&B]

I think that you have a very valid point.

Spontaneous Human Combustion ends marriages instantly.

[alabamafuntonig]

you know m+b

you got a way of making my most serios of points funny!

i suppose yes exploding would end that marrige quickly but once again i was meteforicaly(hope thats right) speaking!

[azwildcat]

well, besides a shotgun and a shovel to bury the body!!!!!

i'd say it would have to be trust or the lack of it, when you or your mate don't trust one another then it can cause a lot of problem's in your relationship, as well as no communication.


i know i've had one marriage fail for the lack of trust. it will destroy just about any relationship, i think.

[thump29]

Well I have to agree with the others trust and communication is a must if it is present then it wont work out. After 10 years of marriage we still trust and communicate with each other.

Somethings there is so many answers to the question asked that we may never know.




Peggy

[fun_pairTX]

Lying, deceit, jealousy, suspicion, dis/mis trust.

[Sportsterguy]

Originally posted by M&B
I think that you have a very valid point.

Spontaneous Human Combustion ends marriages instantly.

oh man, that was funny!.....Sounds like a Monty Python bit...

[jen]

Without a little romance love sort of looses its dance. After that, the sameness settles in. Soon followed by the inticements of newer things, busier jobs, and curtain climbers. Causing tiredness which creates weakness and a lack of desires.

Before long years and years have passed, and when you look around you can't remember how that happened. So you search outside and inside for the feeling of loves feelings.

For some, that leads to wonders of how it is that you ended up with this person you married, in this house in this town with this job and these kids.

That person starts to ponder greater worlds, greener gardens. Seeking the feeling of loves feelings.

Why that person doesn't seek that feeling from the person they married is the hard part to explain.

Either way, it starts inside each person. The smart persons find the right way to handle it. The not so smart, well, they kill their relationships.

Ok, that might not make any sense but there is thunder outside and it makes me shaky. my bad.