What kills a relationship?

[alabamafuntonig]

well we talk for 1 hour yesterday and she dont want to see me again for a while. she says she loves me but cant stay with me!!!!
she says she misses me !!!! but does not want to come home! she is pretty sure a divorce is the way to go! but i took all the sdvice i got and let her talk!

[azwildcat]

well,now i know what does!!
no trust and lie's. i can say that this time there is no fixing thing's with this marriage i'm done with all the bullshit and i just can't take it anymore. (we both can't)
his unablility to tell the truth and then not trust me and of course his denial of everything once again. last night was our last fight and as he walked out slamming the door this morning, that was all that needed to be said about thing's. for some reason i can't feel much, i'm just numb from it all.

[jen]

Wow, you two, just wow. I am sorry to hear of all this.

Bama, I've been keeping my fingers crossed and still am!

az, I didn't know..I will now keep my fingers crossed for you as well.

[M&B]

Give her the space, but, show your heart. She may yet come around. It is time to regroup, then, court her. Like old times.

If successful, the two of you could end up much closer and full of undertanding than before.

Be patient! And listen!!!!

[M&B]

I am so sorry. wow.

Man, this is getting depressing

[azwildcat]

thank's, jen, but no need to, what can't be helped, just can't be helped, not this time anyhow.
it'll be alright once i get my feet on the ground again or hit him with my car, only cuz the truck is lifted to high, it'll just roll over him,damn!!
see, i'm not going to let it take my sarcastic humor away from me. he can just kiss my ()()

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally posted by alabamafuntonig
well we talk for 1 hour yesterday and she dont want to see me again for a while. she says she loves me but cant stay with me!!!!
she says she misses me !!!! but does not want to come home! she is pretty sure a divorce is the way to go! but i took all the sdvice i got and let her talk!

One hour of talk isn't much when you're talking about everyone's future!!

Do you know why she "loves you but can't stay with you?"
Why does she miss you but feel that she can't come home?
Why does she feel a divorce is the way to go? Most people don't decide to divorce on a whim. It is generally something that has been eating away at them for a long time.

Those are rhetorical questions, but things you need to answer and/or have answered for yourself.

You may want to consider setting up another meeting for the two of you. You mentioned you took everyone's advice and let her talk. Now that you've heard what she has to say, maybe you both need to sit down and seriously **communicate**. Avoid accusations, the "you did's" - all of that sort of stuff, and just get down to the nitty-gritty of what you can each contribute to the life of your relationship. The give-a-little, get-a-little things that are important in all relationships.

Everyone on this Board harps on communicate, communicate, communicate...including you. Well, Bama, I think it is time for the test of your life in terms of communication. Listen and really hear and speak from your heart.
-EBF (I need a smiley for a hug)

[azwildcat]

now don't worry about me ok. i've been through worse.
hell, i gave birth to three kids, now that was something
besides, what doesn't kill us just makes us stronger, i say.

[jen]

az, wow.

No No az - about hitting him with the car - you have kids...yes? They need a good mom -- stay away from anything that could result in jail time! Goofin...

Be sure you're in a dark alley, use someone else's car, and no matter what do not...this is important...do not allow him to become wedged in the windshield then drive home and park in the garage! Goofin again, of course.

my bad.

Trying to help az keep the humor...sarcastic or whichever kind...

still pouty about broken smilies...

[azwildcat]

ok, someone else car, hummm, not a bad plan there, jen, don't worry i wouldn't use my car anyhow, he paid to much for my birthday present , so i'll use my g/f's the break's are shot so that's my alibi and i'll make sure to have plenty of doughnut's on hand

[alabamafuntonig]

Everyone on this Board harps on communicate, communicate, communicate...including you. Well, Bama, I think it is time for the test of your life in terms of communication. Listen and really hear and speak from your heart.

it has eaten at me very much today so far but i know in my heart of hearts that like everone says time heals all things in life. im not sure why she is not coming home ,she says she loves me and misses me and knows im hurting but she wants to stay away until she knows she wants to come back. problem is we cant talk when she is gone! and 1 hour was not enough . im not sure some people say wait some people say thats bs she knows what she is doing and in one week or two you will still be in the same boat. i dont want to get religuos or any thing but its so easy to fall down and start listening to the evil thoughts and temptations that arize during this.

[jen]

[i] Listen and really hear and speak from your heart.
-EBF (I need a smiley for a hug) [/B]

Thats the only way. From your heart. While hoping she is using hers as well.

Once a good heart finds another, they are always together.

[azwildcat]

that's true, bama, listen to what, jen, said
don't give up though ok.

[wrnakedru]

SOMETIMES... when you cry........... no one sees your tears...

SOMETIMES... when you are in pain... no one sees your hurt...

SOMETIMES... when you are worried... no one sees your stress...

SOMETIMES .. when you are happy..... no one sees your smile ...

BUT......... FART just one time!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Please note:
No disrespect to the pain and internal conflict our very much cared for fellow board members are experiencing.

Just thought a grin, even a fleeting one, is sometimes welcome!

[alabamafuntonig]

have you ever tied a noose and it just wont work, ever tried to overdose on pills but all you have is flintstones viatimins. dont own a gun so thats out. im fucked i even srew up somthing so simple!Ive been drunk for the last 24 hours. i dont want to face it , my wife said i would see my kids today well its 730 still no kids ...im a loser husband and now im a loser dad go figure, dont ever wish you had some time alone all i can say is it aint worth it.