Want to try a MFM threesome and I thought hubby was on board.

[Mr.Essex]

As someone who's been repeatedly on the other end of the scenario, I'd say that the best thing to do in this situation is to give your chat partner a succinct explanation for your unwillingness to move further, then move on. There's nothing quite as annoying for me as dealing with a person who has no problem with exchanging messages for a few weeks, but suddenly drops off the face of the earth without explanation.

For some of us, travel arrangements, workplace absences and monetary details have to be attended to for a liason, and it's frustrating to have to go back to your boss and cancel that two day vacation because "the Torkelsons*" got cold feet and decided to cut off contact. Or spending an extra $200+ for rush service on car repairs, then realizing that "Mr.andMrs.Luvs2Party*" haven't bothered to send more than a one line reply to any of your E-mails. And if I had a dollar for every picture that I've sent to a prospective partner (single female or couple), just to get turned down or flat out ignored after the other party has collected their fill of pictures for their personal edification (I've seen my privities used in other peoples' ads), I could afford a 7-day vacation to anywhere in the continental U.S.

A quick "I don't think that this is going to work out/My spouse isn't comfortable with this arrangement/Today, no, but maybe at a later date" removes your (user)name from the "bad list" that every lifestyler maintains. And, as a very shocked couple learned at the last party which I attended, singlehood isn't a permanent affliction. Sometimes, we singles meet partners of our own, and we (not speaking personally, but it was fun to watch) can remember the birthmarks and tattoos of people who gave us the runaround {or, as my example said, "fucked me in the ass with no reacharound"}. Then (when the former single {now married} male showed up with smoking hot wife) the very shocked couple mentioned before couldn't figure out why their comeons were so sharply rebuffed, their offers of WHEE free drinks!! (the couple in question was notorious for taking advantage of the BYOB rule to cull potential female playmates from couples who didn't bring alcohol) were so easily turned down, and watched as their "destined target" enjoyed the attentions of people who were "lesser" than them. After I had enjoyed massaging and sampling her wares, he wife was gracious enough to give me some of the details of her husband's dealings with the shocked couple. Revenge, as always, is a dish best served cold, and graciousness (even from a position of power) is the best way to avoid becoming "that guy/that chick/that couple".