He refuses to let me in on the communications...

[sexcupid]

Originally Posted by KinkyKat

Hi

Well.... I appreciate your opinions and thank you so much!

Just to say that my partner is not submissive but is dominate in all areas of our sex life except for one of his hugest fetish. I usually play sub. But I agree with what you say in that I need to get this in control, because it has gotten out of hand. I tell him if he wants to be dominated then he can't be dominate while playing submissive. Its confusing really. Cause he is the one that got me turned on into bdsm with me in a submissive role, but gets disappointed at times that I'm not the perfect dominate for his fetish. (?)

It may not be that you are not the perfect dom for his fetish. It may be that he can't totally get into the role of submission when the person topping him is usually the one he's topping. Does that make sense? (It sure seemed to in my mind anyway lol )

Both my SO and I can be dominant. However, in the few years we've been together...I have only been the dom for him 1 time. It has nothing to do with my abilities, it has to do with him not wanting to be in the sub position. He enjoyed it the time we did it, but it hasn't happened since then (probably about a year now...we've been together abt 2.5 years). I do have a playmate that totally loves to be my bottom tho...so I do have an outlet to be a dom to his sub when the mood strikes me.

Again, probably nothing to do with your abilities/capabilities in the dom role, he just may not be able to picture you in his mind as anything but a sub with him, not a switch.

Good luck,

Maria