Female half of couple getting too attached?....

[yourbitterpill]

Hmmm, what to make of this? What would you do?

Mrs. Pill and I have been playing regularly with one couple and we're becoming pretty good friends as well. We have a good time, chat often, and generally trust them.

Unfortunately, it seems that the female half is becoming too emotional with me (Mr. Pill). We were chattting from time to time during the day (usually just me and her) and a few weeks ago, I made an off-hand remark about hypothetical "other women" as I'm wont to do (i.e. "I'd love to go there because the ladies are smokin' and they'll dig the "gun show". lol."). I was just joking but she said it hurt her when I mentioned other women because it made her feel like the "weekly fuck". I was perplexed by that (Mrs. Pill isn't at all like that) and said it was part of my nature, but would try to respect her feelings. No big deal.

Then the last time we saw them everything seemed fine, later that night we did separate rooms. Not generally a problem but she kept dropping romantic comments with me (i.e. she wrote a poem about me, she felt really close to me, etc.). As it progressed I got more and more uncomfortable b/c she never talks like that with her husband around. When we were finished, she wanted to cuddle and I just wasn't having it so I got up and went into the other room with Mrs. Pill and her husband. I'm sure they sensed I was upset and left shortly thereafter.

Now, we both like them, but have consistently stated that we like them as friends. The husband doesn't act this way to Mrs. Pill and we're unsure whether he knows the extent of his wife's affection. We're still interested in seeing them. My opinion is that we should all sit down and have a good talk about this. Mrs. Pill thinks we should be more proactive in directing the relationship where we want it from now on.

[Greg & Sheryl]

Your situation is more common than you might think. There are a lot of people who dabble in this lifestyle even though they aren't very good at separating sex from love. Unfortunately, depending on the depth of this women's feelings for you, your relationship with this couple may not be salvageable. Good luck!

[good times]

I have to agree, we have had this happen recently and weren't able to salvage it. In fact we currently aren't even speaking to the couple. It seems they are looking for boyfriends/girlfriends rather than just recreational sex with others.

[LOL_OMG]

As stated previously, what your dealing with is not unusual but it can lead to dire happenings if it is not stopped sooner than later. When we stepped into the swinging arena that was my biggest worry, women tend to relate love with sex more than men. Mrs. lol told me as much, so we talked, and talked, and talked some more after our first and second encounter. My guess is the couple your playing with has not shared many thoughts together and dove into the pool without checking for submerged objects...bad idea. I would not count them out as play partners but give them a little time to go out and play with others. If it was a first time infatuation or if she cannot differentiate between love and sex, you will know.

Mr. Lol

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by yourbitterpill

...we did separate rooms. Not generally a problem but she kept dropping romantic comments with me (i.e. she wrote a poem about me, she felt really close to me, etc.). As it progressed I got more and more uncomfortable b/c she never talks like that with her husband around.

DANGER, DANGER WILL ROBINSON!

Originally Posted by yourbitterpill

Hmmm, what to make of this?

She is likely feeling that she's in love with you. Women don't write romantic poetry about men they're not in love with. And, she's telling you this behind her husband's back. She may be thinking "affair".

Originally Posted by yourbitterpill

What would you do?

I would break it off immediately.

Originally Posted by yourbitterpill

We were chattting from time to time during the day (usually just me and her)

Women put a lot more stock in this kind of one-on-one, just the two of you, daily and/or regular chatting than men can imagine. I would avoid this in the future.

Originally Posted by yourbitterpill

Mrs. Pill thinks we should be more proactive in directing the relationship where we want it from now on.

I agree with her 100%. I'd be directing this relationship right out the door.

Good luck, and let us know how this all goes for you!

[Pepper & Drew]

Originally Posted by yourbitterpill

As it progressed I got more and more uncomfortable b/c she never talks like that with her husband around.

Here's the kicker. The other things you mentioned by themselves wouldn't have been so startling, but your discomfort because she only acts like that with you says that there's something wrong.

I'd back up from this couple completely, and tell them why. I fear this will end badly if you try to remain friends. There's something going on between them, and you'll get tangled up in it if you don't remove yourself from it now.

Pepper

[JTcamp05]

I think its pretty common......I don't see as how you really need to do much. She can have feelings for you, but of course unless YOU take it to the next level then the feelings are hers.


It still takes two to cross any line. She needs to feel that attachment to be comfortable. Who wouldn't want a lover to be comfortable.

Most likely she will be the one who gets hurt here and unless it effects your relationship....can't see how you can be hurt from this. You have been upfront and honist, you haven't lead her on I think these things run thier course.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by yourbitterpill

Unfortunately, it seems that the female half is becoming too emotional with me (Mr. Pill). We were chattting from time to time during the day (usually just me and her) and a few weeks ago, I made an off-hand remark about hypothetical "other women" as I'm wont to do (i.e. "I'd love to go there because the ladies are smokin' and they'll dig the "gun show". lol."). I was just joking but she said it hurt her when I mentioned other women because it made her feel like the "weekly fuck".

Then the last time we saw them everything seemed fine, later that night we did separate rooms. Not generally a problem but she kept dropping romantic comments with me (i.e. she wrote a poem about me, she felt really close to me, etc.). As it progressed I got more and more uncomfortable b/c she never talks like that with her husband around. When we were finished, she wanted to cuddle and I just wasn't having it so I got up and went into the other room with Mrs. Pill and her husband. I'm sure they sensed I was upset and left shortly thereafter.

Now, we both like them, but have consistently stated that we like them as friends. The husband doesn't act this way to Mrs. Pill and we're unsure whether he knows the extent of his wife's affection. We're still interested in seeing them. My opinion is that we should all sit down and have a good talk about this. Mrs. Pill thinks we should be more proactive in directing the relationship where we want it from now on.

OP, Number one, she IS the weekly fuck, isn't she? I mean, does she think she is your 2nd wife or something? Thats interesting in itself. OP, you have to stop this relationship now. Trust me on this one. She is emotionally attaching herself to you and seeing you more than a fuck buddy, which is what this hobby is designed to be. I applaud you for holding your own with her, especially on the cuddling. I have said that before....cuddling after sex is extremely intimate and should not be done with play partners for THIS reason. My personal opinion is you need to at least stop the sex with this couple. Perhaps remain friends if you can (some people get so emotionally attached that its all or nothing) but I would cease all play. You may want to talk with the husband, and tell the truth! I feel that he needs to know that his wife has issues with separating lust from love....this is a BIG problem that she is either going to resolve or stop swinging.

As far as playing with other people. I look at it this way: If I am not sexually monogomous to my own husband any play partner must never get it anywhere in their head that I'm going to be so to them. There is no harm in being blunt and honest right there. And yes, in my opinion she IS your weekly fuck lol....your WIFE is the love of your life.
Shelly

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by JTcamp05

I think its pretty common......I don't see as how you really need to do much. She can have feelings for you, but of course unless YOU take it to the next level then the feelings are hers.


It still takes two to cross any line. She needs to feel that attachment to be comfortable. Who wouldn't want a lover to be comfortable.

Most likely she will be the one who gets hurt here and unless it effects your relationship....can't see how you can be hurt from this. You have been upfront and honist, you haven't lead her on I think these things run thier course.

JT, I agree with you to a point. Yes, its good to be comfortable. But when romantic tendecies like those described come into play I personally feel that things need to be halted. Writing poems, wanting to cuddle, it just makes me feel like this woman's perverbial lines are being blurred.....is it her fault? No! I'm not saying that she is bad. And yes, it does happen. With me, its the men that I click with well that I am the most cautious about. Yes, this does happen. But when one play partner sees it its time to pull back. I can't imagine how uncomfortable the OP must have felt thinking "what does this chick mean shes writing poetry about me?" Anyways, this is purely just my opinion. I don't think she is wrong or malicious, don't get me wrong. But I DO think harm can come from it within her own marriage if nothing else.
Shelly

[JTcamp05]

I see your point Shelly...... I guess it can be hard on your own marriage, but the way I see it is if he is aware of this he has some control over the situation..... His wife is the most important thing in his life I'm sure he will always "do the right thing".

[fun4Ds]

uhhhh,soooo...... what was the poem ?

i know there are women who are very poetic in life and can express themselvs that way.

im not saying she was wright or wrong, something like this would only matter between mrs.fun and i, on what the outcome of this situation would be.

if it bothered mrs.fun then i would go with however mrs.fun felt about the situation.(rule #1,US FIRST) maby run like hell. but if mrs.fun was ok with the poetry the next step would have to be,, straight out talk to the womans husband with something like " ya know your wife wrote a poem about us. and i'd like to know, is she as poetic about alot of things in life?" (his reaction would mean alot).

if he looked like this or this id run like hell.

hopefully he might say " yea, she is very poetic " maby,hopefully she has wrote alot of poems to him and its just her way of expression .in that case i/we might ask if she has more poems we might read. ya never know.some folks who are poetic are great people.