Whoring around in virtual Babylon

Spoomonkey · 01-13-2005, 10:30 PM

You know - I am one of those guys who is stuck on the marriage dynamic that it takes for a successful swing couple to be... Well - successful...

So - lately I have been visiting another board...

*and the crowd says, "boo! hiss!"*

Well - on this board, I have been reading about sexual topics from a different perspective - that of a type of people that I'd like to call "normal."

They aren't that much different than us, really...

They have jobs, homes, some have kids, and they like to type...

A lot.

And what I have learned is this - we are the lucky few.

We aren't perfect - and we aren't experts at everything - but we are lucky as hell!

These "normal" people struggle with keeping their sex lives fresh and exciting. They wonder how to talk to their spouse about things. They worry that their spouse is masturbating to porn because something is wrong with them...

They use sex as a bartering tool - from "you clean the bathroom, I'll polish your knob" to "if you eat me for five minutes, I'll give you five minutes - in exact measure." Tit for tat is the rule...

Guys wonder why their wives don't want sex.

Women wonder what they did to make their husbands so distant.

They spend the day hoping for their lover to come home from work and be passionate for them - to put the kids to bed and throw them over the arm of the couch. Then they spend the evenings being disappointed - most of the time - or having to be satisfied with an "obligation" fuck.

They don't know how to talk about it.

They don't know how to do it.

They are constrained by religion, culture, upbringing, abuse, fear, low self-esteem and any other number of issues.

The want more - but they will probably never find it...

And I read what they have to say and I think to myself - I am so very lucky. Like many here, I am one of those guys who has a best friend - a soulmate - a lover with whom I can spend literally every minute with; with whom sex is an adventure and passion is a given.

I am no longer surprised by the troubled marriages that get into swinging trying to "fix" something - or the desperate married men looking for something that they can't get at home and WILL NOT find here.

We are the sensual "haves".

We are more fortunate than we give ourselves credit for.

It's a screwed up marriage culture out there.

You talk, you love, you laugh - together. I don't know if we truly appreciate how rare a thing that is.

Spoomonkey

BradAndJanet · 01-13-2005, 10:38 PM

You are so right, monkey man!

People probably wonder why we're smiling so much...

-B

**two4youinswva** · 01-13-2005, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

So - lately I have been visiting another board...

and the crowd says, "boo! hiss!"*

It would be ironic for a bunch of swingers to expect "board monogamy"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

We are the sensual "haves".

We are more fortunate than we give ourselves credit for.

It's a screwed up marriage culture out there.

You talk, you love, you laugh - together. I don't know if we truly appreciate how rare a thing that is.

We both went through really really bad marriages before finding each other. There was ONE redeeming quality about those bad marriages; it made us appreciate each other so much more, and value what we have together. Call it Kharma, a blessing, or just damn fool luck, we just know we have it and are thankful for it.

And a great post Spoo. Thanks for bringing a smile to our face!

Vespertine · 01-13-2005, 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by two4youinswva

It would be ironic for a bunch of swingers to expect "board monogamy"

Heehee...

Lovely post Spoo...and so right on.

Spoomonkey · 01-13-2005, 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by two4youinswva

just damn fool luck

I'd like to believe it is more - but I am just as happy if (and I suspect) it is this.

Besides - saying "damn" makes me sound rough

Spoomonkey

wildwife1010 · 01-13-2005, 11:40 PM

That was very good and entirely too true. Good job

dutch51 · 01-13-2005, 11:53 PM

Aw shit dude I'm getting all misty eyed.Good job though really.Agree entirely.

Don't ever tell wifey this,but good experiances in this lifestyle make me appreciate what I have.

But bad experiances,have a positive effect too.When I'm feeling bad,rejected,misunderstood...I look at her as just a person and go WOW!!!

You want me?Hey I must not be so bad after all.

And suddenly it feels like the first time she said yes when I asked her to marry me.(Although I did make sure she was drinking first,and we were having sex when I asked.Hey I wanted a guaranteed yes ok?...lol)

But all in all very well put,very well said,and my hat off to you.

A

CB_n_Red · 01-14-2005, 04:23 AM

Spot on Spoo! You hit the nail on the head yet again!

CB

Mistral Wind · 01-14-2005, 06:09 AM

Hey Spoo-Monkey!
Great article....in fact Fuckin Ace! you are so right, please excuse the language

Tim
My woman is away today

northindycpl · 01-14-2005, 07:53 AM

Great post Spoo! I went another site -once- and read the sex forums, all the while thinking to myself, no wonder half the marriages end in divorce!

We are privledged. We have earned the right to swing. Maybe thats why we 'celecrate' so much?

EvilMJ · 01-14-2005, 08:08 AM

I agree Spoo. Swinging has really opened my eyes as to how strong we are a couple. We can talk about ANYTHING. We can appreciate a good looking member of hte opposite sex without hurting each other's feelings. We can talk about what we want sexually, and our fantasies.

I watch my vanilla friends and listen to their complaints about their marriage (many you have listed) and feel great relief that we are not like that.

Although in my opinion I don't think the swinging made us that way, we were like that all along, which is what made the swinging work.

Vespertine · 01-14-2005, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EvilMJ

Although in my opinion I don't think the swinging made us that way, we were like that all along, which is what made the swinging work.

BINGO!

You hit the nail right on the head, MJ.

HotMoCpl · 01-14-2005, 09:36 AM

We're new and haven't done the deed yet, but from reading what you wrote, we're definetly on the right path. I can assure you that the wife and I think the same way.
Cheers.

findtime · 01-14-2005, 09:53 AM

Applause, Spoomonkey, Applause!!!!

Beautifully said.

**Alura** · 01-14-2005, 12:21 PM

Thanks, Spoo. I never doubted that we've chosen the right road.

When Oprah covered the ugliness of cheating in her first half-hour and the solidity of "Swinger Marriages" in the second, I felt somehow we may one day be understood, or at least accepted.

The SwingersBoard members should plan a raid on that board, post in large numbers, and go away leaving their heads swimming with new ideas. HeeHee.

Mr. Alura

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01-13-2005, 10:30 PM	#1 (permalink)
Spoomonkey Chimpin' Ain't Easy Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 6,739 Location: Ohio Status: Married Monkeys - will you be our vine? Swing Lifestyle Name:Spoomonkey	Whoring around in virtual Babylon You know - I am one of those guys who is stuck on the marriage dynamic that it takes for a successful swing couple to be... Well - successful... So - lately I have been visiting another board... and the crowd says, "boo! hiss!" Well - on this board, I have been reading about sexual topics from a different perspective - that of a type of people that I'd like to call "normal." They aren't that much different than us, really... They have jobs, homes, some have kids, and they like to type... A lot. And what I have learned is this - we are the lucky few. We aren't perfect - and we aren't experts at everything - but we are lucky as hell! These "normal" people struggle with keeping their sex lives fresh and exciting. They wonder how to talk to their spouse about things. They worry that their spouse is masturbating to porn because something is wrong with them... They use sex as a bartering tool - from "you clean the bathroom, I'll polish your knob" to "if you eat me for five minutes, I'll give you five minutes - in exact measure." Tit for tat is the rule... Guys wonder why their wives don't want sex. Women wonder what they did to make their husbands so distant. They spend the day hoping for their lover to come home from work and be passionate for them - to put the kids to bed and throw them over the arm of the couch. Then they spend the evenings being disappointed - most of the time - or having to be satisfied with an "obligation" fuck. They don't know how to talk about it. They don't know how to do it. They are constrained by religion, culture, upbringing, abuse, fear, low self-esteem and any other number of issues. The want more - but they will probably never find it... And I read what they have to say and I think to myself - I am so very lucky. Like many here, I am one of those guys who has a best friend - a soulmate - a lover with whom I can spend literally every minute with; with whom sex is an adventure and passion is a given. I am no longer surprised by the troubled marriages that get into swinging trying to "fix" something - or the desperate married men looking for something that they can't get at home and WILL NOT find here. We are the sensual "haves". We are more fortunate than we give ourselves credit for. It's a screwed up marriage culture out there. You talk, you love, you laugh - together. I don't know if we truly appreciate how rare a thing that is. Spoomonkey
	__________________ "Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities." - C. S. Lewis Last edited by Spoomonkey; 01-13-2005 at 10:33 PM.

01-13-2005, 10:38 PM	#2 (permalink)
BradAndJanet Only slightly cracked... Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 7,071 Location: Seattle Status: Married Couple	Re: Whoring around in virtual Babylon You are so right, monkey man! People probably wonder why we're smiling so much... -B
	__________________ "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain All about us...

01-13-2005, 11:40 PM	#6 (permalink)
wildwife1010 Here to Stay Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 42 Location: KY Status: Couple	Re: Whoring around in virtual Babylon That was very good and entirely too true. Good job

01-13-2005, 11:53 PM	#7 (permalink)
dutch51 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 392 Location: Ohio Status: happily married	Re: Whoring around in virtual Babylon Aw shit dude I'm getting all misty eyed.Good job though really.Agree entirely. Don't ever tell wifey this,but good experiances in this lifestyle make me appreciate what I have. But bad experiances,have a positive effect too.When I'm feeling bad,rejected,misunderstood...I look at her as just a person and go WOW!!! You want me?Hey I must not be so bad after all. And suddenly it feels like the first time she said yes when I asked her to marry me.(Although I did make sure she was drinking first,and we were having sex when I asked.Hey I wanted a guaranteed yes ok?...lol) But all in all very well put,very well said,and my hat off to you. A
	__________________ smiles M (wifey) and A (hubby)

01-14-2005, 04:23 AM	#8 (permalink)
CB_n_Red Life's too short not to.. Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 616 Location: East Yorkshire, UK Status: Married Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:CB_n_Red	Re: Whoring around in virtual Babylon Spot on Spoo! You hit the nail on the head yet again! CB
	__________________ Take all things in moderation....including moderation

01-14-2005, 06:09 AM	#9 (permalink)
Mistral Wind Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 101 Location: South West UK Status: M straight F bi (couple)	Re: Whoring around in virtual Babylon Hey Spoo-Monkey! Great article....in fact Fuckin Ace! you are so right, please excuse the language Tim My woman is away today
	__________________ Mistral THe hunger on the inside drives the hunger on the outside XX

01-14-2005, 07:53 AM	#10 (permalink)
northindycpl Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 1,425 Location: Indiana Status: Blissfull SITCOM Swing Lifestyle Name:northindycpl	Re: Whoring around in virtual Babylon Great post Spoo! I went another site -once- and read the sex forums, all the while thinking to myself, no wonder half the marriages end in divorce! We are privledged. We have earned the right to swing. Maybe thats why we 'celecrate' so much?
	__________________ Mrs. Indy

01-14-2005, 08:08 AM	#11 (permalink)
EvilMJ Pure Evil..In a cute suit Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 2,497 Location: Nova Scotia Status: Couple	Re: Whoring around in virtual Babylon I agree Spoo. Swinging has really opened my eyes as to how strong we are a couple. We can talk about ANYTHING. We can appreciate a good looking member of hte opposite sex without hurting each other's feelings. We can talk about what we want sexually, and our fantasies. I watch my vanilla friends and listen to their complaints about their marriage (many you have listed) and feel great relief that we are not like that. Although in my opinion I don't think the swinging made us that way, we were like that all along, which is what made the swinging work.
	__________________ "Well! Evil to some is always good to others." - Jane Austen

01-14-2005, 09:36 AM	#13 (permalink)
HotMoCpl Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 402 Location: Missouri Status: Married Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:HotMo	Re: Whoring around in virtual Babylon We're new and haven't done the deed yet, but from reading what you wrote, we're definetly on the right path. I can assure you that the wife and I think the same way. Cheers.
	__________________ "Heros go to heaven, survivors go home."- Some damn ol' gunt.

01-14-2005, 09:53 AM	#14 (permalink)
findtime Here to Stay Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 73 Location: Canada Status: couple	Re: Whoring around in virtual Babylon Applause, Spoomonkey, Applause!!!! Beautifully said.

01-14-2005, 12:21 PM	#15 (permalink)
Alura Just a hick Okie Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 8,135 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Status: Widower	Re: Whoring around in virtual Babylon Thanks, Spoo. I never doubted that we've chosen the right road. When Oprah covered the ugliness of cheating in her first half-hour and the solidity of "Swinger Marriages" in the second, I felt somehow we may one day be understood, or at least accepted. The SwingersBoard members should plan a raid on that board, post in large numbers, and go away leaving their heads swimming with new ideas. HeeHee. Mr. Alura
	__________________ "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it." —Will Rogers

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