What 'makes' your marriage?

[northindycpl]

I have been really in love with Mr. Indy over the last few days. I mean we love each other all of the time, but there are just certain times that I really am in love with him.

I have been thinking about the attributes that are unique to our marriage, that make it so substantial... and wondered about other peoples marriages. What 'thing' does your spouse do that just makes you in love with them each time they do it?

For me is the way Mr. Indy rubs the back of my neck when ever we are in the car. It is such a little thing, but what an impact it makes. He will rub the back of my neck perfectly, for hours.

[looking2swing]

I loved to be hugged and my husband knows the perfect times to hug me. He makes me laugh like no one else. He also truely understands that sometimes a girl just wants to cry, and he doesn't freak out about it. The trust between us makes me smile when we hear the some of the awful fights that other "non-swingers" have. Not to mention the awesome sex that we have that gives a euphoric feeling for days.

[EvilMJ]

I love it when hubby takes my smart ass remarks with a grin and just throws one right back at me......I guess some people might find that a turn off....just goes to show I found the man for me !!

[mrs good times]

As you have stated I am in love with Mr. GT all the time but the special thing that he does for me is that softens my heart every time is understanding my fears. For instance, I hate to drive in the snow and rather than encouraging me to try he will tell me "I'd better drive you to work today, its snowing out" and "call me when you want me to pick you up from work." No complaining about my lack of courage.

[biblonde]

Hmmm...he does so much hard to pick just a few...well lets see....I love that he calls me throughout the day just to say HI and I love you! He always gives me that flirty smile. He is a constant tease!!! and always has to kiss on my neck...

We have always been best friends and we share everything with each other. We have shared some really great times together and went through some horrible times together and everything always seems to make us feel even stronger tward each other. There is 100% trust between us and we never fear of the other one crossing the line. We enjoy spending time together and with our kids. aaaaaaaa life is good!

[Candy&Cane]

A piece of paper has nothing to do with it.. we dont believe in 'marriage'... we believe in the love between us both.. I recognize all the things here.. all the small things, but also big things.. that makes us realize..... gosh I love this man/woman soooo much...

Understanding, patience with all our little irritating things... Laughing so loud whenever were being cute and childish... Laughing together about... anything.. The kiss before the eveningsupper... every time, but always... a little mental note

Kissing eachother before turning in to sleep.. saying I love you, but only if we mean it, which is every day at least one time...

Cane notes; every time, when you're all dolled-up, in your beautiful sexy clothes.... when I see turning heads.. when you get into one of the many converstations were I see you bloom, your happiness... It reminds me; gosh that lady is my lady... I'm so proud... I love her so...

Whenever Cane has a new asseignment (design), and I see him working... I see his happiness when he found another perspective, or answer to an issue... his enthousiasm... makes me proud too.. and then... I always feeel one of those butterflies at least..

So... from a bigger point of view... eachothers happiness sparks love.. maybe thats the reason why we went into swinging... when we see eachother happy... we realize even more.. how much we love eachtother..

[intuition897]

I'm so glad I found this thread. There are so many things, big and small, that make our marriage. We don't get along all the time, and sure we get annoyed with each other, but there are times when we can just look at one another and share this quiet sense of peace between us. There is no longer any animosity or tension between us, as there used to be years ago. We fell in love after we married. Sometimes days will go by and we'll say 'I love you' several times a day, but just out of habit; life is like that. Then something will happen that reminds us of just how much we mean to each other. I get P.M.S-y and he'll understand and get the kids out of my hair; He gets dumped on at work and I try to make the house a bit more of a sanctuary when he gets home, make him his favorite dinner, clean up, and just try to support him; We'll be at a family gathering or a party and we see a vanilla couple fighting because so-and-so caught him dancing with 'that hussy in the short skirt', and we catch the laughter in each others' eye over the silliness of it; We finally vent about that little issue that somehow we've avoided talking about for, like, a month (!) and although it was unpleasant to discuss, we lay in bed that night staring at one another, saying "I'm in love with you", holding each other and feeling so cared for and protected. Sometimes my heart is so full it feels like it's going to burst at the seams.

I get this bittersweet feeling that I've never felt before. I never used to fear death, but now I do. Not for myself, but for him. One lifetime just doesn't seem like it's enough. I feel every day slipping away and I try to be conscious of that and never take our time together for granted or waste it by letting stupid things come between us (This is one reason why the lifestyle just fits us like a glove!). I feel so protective of him, like a mother bear. It's often frustrating because I can't express to him adequately just how much he means to me. He's my knight in shining armor, always holding himself to a higher moral standard and doing what's right regardless of whether or not it's popular. He earns respect, and the only people he doesn't give respect to are those who go out of their way to not deserve it. He's the first guy to stand up and take on the job that nobody wants and motivates people to get involved. He has a soft spot for Christmas and kids. He's strong and sexy and masculine and is such an open-minded and giving lover. They say you just 'know' when you're in love, and if you have to ask if this is it, then you're not in love. It's absolutely true. I've never felt like this about anyone. I could go on forever spouting about him like this, but y'all aren't the ones in love with him so I fear I'd start to sound a little redundant. Thanks for starting this thread though!

What one thing makes our marriage? : We put one another's happiness before our own.

[northindycpl]

Originally Posted by intuition897

What one thing makes our marriage? : We put one another's happiness before our own.

What a great response! I hope you Mr. gets to read what you have written.

Happiness is critical to a great marriage.

[Vespertine]

For me, Trust is the key to our marriage with unconditional love falling close behind.

Besides all that, he does little things that make me smile. He'll serenade me with the quirky 70's R&B love songs that I love- funky dancing and all... and he hates that genre of music, but he makes a point of learning the words (for me). <gush>

[simba101]

First of all, Intuition897, let me say that I loved your post. You are very lucky and I feel many of the things that you said, but I don't think that I could have worded them so well.
For us, we have 2 toddlers, so I see so much love from him when he is with them and looks at me and tells me how fortunate he is to have all of us. I also love it when he rubs my feet for no reason, just because he knows that I've had a rough day as the "domestic goddess" that I am. And when I'm cooking dinner and he comes up behind me while I'm slicing the carrots or whatever and he slips his hands under my shirt and feels me and tells me how much he loves me............well, that's just IT for me!!
I also have to love him just for allowing us to explore this new lifestyle and enrich our love and sex lives. We've had a wonderful time starting and gosh what it's done for us! I can't remember a time that we've gotten along any better. We're both happier and more fullfilled now and I'm so grateful that our communication is even more open now.
I love this topic and I'm glad it was started!
~M~

[OpenVA]

Where to begin... I guess at the begining.....She has never expected me to be a mind reader. She has never Judged me for my past deeds; When we got together and decided that we were going to be exclusive I told her every last evil nefarious thing I had done in the past... She picked me any way . I can always tell her the unadultrated truth; I don't have to tell little white lies or avoid an issue or topic just to avoid a slightly uncomfortable situation . She makes me laugh, She has a wonderfuly dry sense of humor that I just totaly adore. She is extremly smart. She makes me feel like a man, I actually feel that she loves me.. It's hard to explain. She is feminine without being a girly girl.. We talk to each other all the time.

There is no one thing that I feel that 'MAKES' our marriage.. But I do love the times when it is just the 2 of us hanging out watching TV or watching amovie laughing out loud and having a gret time and It dawns on me that I married this person and a sudden rush takes over and I realize just how lucky I am and how much I love this woman.

Mr.Openva

[OpenVA]

Awww...shucks, honey....

So...what do I think "makes" our marriage? For me, it's the simple fact that I have found someone who I can be myself with, and I am loved, adored, protected and admired for it, everyday.

See, the thing is, I never thought I would ever get married. I was good at dating. I could figure out a guy in five minutes and know exactly the kind of role I could play to have him eating out of my hands. It always worked. But thought of marrying one of these schmoes just made me go "UGH!". I couldn't keep up the role-playing for more than a couple of months, then I'd get bored and dump the dude. Mr. Openva sets a new record every morning as my longest running relationship! The trick I decided to play on him when I met his was to just be myself....the sarcastic, opintionated, un-girly me that I was when I was hanging out in my apartment alone....and he stayed around. Better than that, he loved me for it. He didn't care that I watched cheesy stuff on TV, or had two crazy sisters and a whole host of other insane relatives. I thought he must be nuts - so I snapped him off the market.

Now that we've been married for a while, I just look over at him and think how lucky I am. I found the one thing that I thought was impossible. Someone who loves and respects me...the real me, not the cardboard cut-out I put out for parties.

There are things that he does and says that makes me fall in love all over again...like when he admits his faults, and appoligizes for them. I love him with or without the faults, but the fact that he can see them makes me melt. Another thing I love is that I always learn something new from him. From the first day on we've always talked a lot. He's opened up new worlds to me, like campy sci-fi, the history channel, Diablo....and a million other things I wouldn't have noticed or known about without him. He truly fascinates me.

Now I'm going on and on.....In essence, he makes me feel loved, sexy, respected and safe all at the same time, just by sitting next to me.

ps - Our sex life is outstanding. Did I mention he was the first one to give me an orgasm during intercourse? Bravo....bravo...

Mrs.Openva

[NotsoNew]

This is a great post!

As many of you stated, we are best friends. I can look at him and know what he is thinking.

I love the time we spend together - we really enjoy each other's company. And he always manages to surprise me with knowing exactly what I need - a hug, a kiss or a shoulder to cry on.

One of my fond memories was when I was in the hospital and feeling really yucky - not able to wash hair. He got me out of bed, took me to the shower and washed my hair for me. Also during this hospital stint, he would climb into bed with me which made me feel more at home.

During our day-to-day activities, I just like being with him - snuggling on the sofa watching TV, talking with him (about everything and anything), and sleeping next to him. I travel a lot so I really value our home time together.

Every day, I think about how lucky I am to have him as a husband.

[JennyMac]

Think I am a little late posting on this one, but I have been feeling so much the same as of late that I couldn't NOT respond.

I have been so in love with Mr. Mac over the last several weeks, it has been crazy.

There are so many things that he does that are special to me. Holding my hand, and especially when he rubs my hair. There is no judgement of past deeds, and trust me we both have some doozies! Our love is unconditional, and I know they say that isn't possible unless you're talking about your children, but I really think that it is. I love him no matter what is said, done, felt, thought or shared.

I would trust him with my life, and more importantly, I trust him with my heart. He would never ever hurt me intentionally. There is too much about him that I adore so much to list here...

He just makes me feel safe, he's my best friend.

Jenn

For me it is all of the little things: in the middle of the night he will occasionally stroke my cheek or my hair and whisper "I love you", he brings me home a card, or writes me a little poem every once in awhile, he brought me one of those dumb little plastic rings out of the 25cent machine (because it had a smiley on it) and slid it under the door when I was getting into my wedding dress. I found out later it cost him ten bucks to get it!! it is all of those things and a zillion more. He really is my valiant knight sweeping me off my feet every day!