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81lizard69

Should you attend the funeral of a swinger friend?

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One of the kindest people we know has just past suddenly. I am being a little vague on the description for discretionary reasons. We were broke into swinging with this couple and they were the best. They were so kind and patient with us that it made our intro into swinging seem all most natural. We are social friends with them outside of the community and they were pretty active up until a couple of years ago. I don't know if we should go to the funeral.. I think we are.. but I will ask the survivor if it is ok if we show up.

 

What would you do.? I usually am not at a loss for words,,, but this time I am...

 

Please advise.

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What would you do.?

 

Go if invited, perhaps make a gift in memory (usually listed in the obituary as "in lieu of flowers"), certainly send sympathies to the surviving member of the couple. Say a prayer and/or raise a glass in memory.

 

My sympathies for your loss

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This happened to us a few years ago. The male half of a couple we were fairly close to passed suddenly at a young age.

We went to the funeral, and spent some time with her before and after the funeral as well in a support role.

 

Around here, everyone shows up at either the visitation or the funeral. Co-workers, relatives, neighbors, long lost friends, etc. So, a random couple that happened to be friends with the deceased at some point in their life would not be odd at all, and not questioned. The fact that respects are being paid are all that counts. I'm assuming it is much like this around the country.

 

We still miss them as a couple.

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So sorry to hear about your loss, 81lizard. I agree with Lionheart's advice. If you have been asked to attend, then go.

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Sorry for the loss, it's extra tough to lose friends you shared a special connection with.

 

We would approach it like we would with any friends, vanilla or lifestyle, and at a minimum attend the visitation to pay our respects. If we were close friends, then we would also attend the funeral and reach out to the survivor on a personal level to see if there was anything we could do to help them at that moment and to let them know we would be there for them moving forward also. As two4you mentioned, in this part of the world, it's just assumed that one and all are invited no matter what the connection may be, but sounds like that may not be the case everywhere.

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We have sent the survivor a email, flowers, to the viewing and nice card. We were close and will probably attend the funeral.

 

Thank you for the kind replies.

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The LS is a celebration of life. Never forget. Never look back. Pay respects, savor the memory, make sure the survivor has supports. Give support if the spirit moves you. And then move on. Your time will come soon enough.

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So sorry for your loss, lizard. I think it's very nice that you would attend the funeral and offer your support. If you were friends outside of the LS, I don't see anything wrong with it.

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I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your dear friend. Be there for the survivor, offer to take them out or invite them over, celebrate the friendship and mourn the loss with them...let them talk. I can't imagine how it would be to lose a spouse, let alone a swinging spouse - everything will change for the one left behind. Be there for them.

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Mrs. Alura planned her "Celebration of Life" just prior to her death, including a guest list. Both lifestyle and vanilla friends were invited. 104 people showed up. Every signature in the Guest Book was precious. I know Laura was smiling.

 

Go to the funeral. Hug the survivor.

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