People of different backgrounds/nationalities

[RuCoupleFromAu]

Hi all,

we've just introduced ourselves on this board, but to make it simple - we are a young couple, m29/f27, originally from Russia, living in Australia for nearly 3 years and new to swinging.

We've got a question for couples we'd like to ask.

Okay, so imagine you are approached by a couple (some couple like us) - via the Internet or in person - which is not of American origin. Does not matter if they are Russian, French, German, Italian, Polish etc. But it's obvious that they were not born in USA - though their English is good enough, probably even fluent - they still have an accent, they do not know too much about the latest TV shows or serials, politics, popular sports or movie stars... There is some obvious "cultural difference" and maybe some "language barrier" because even fluent English is still worse than being a native speaker ...

So the question is - what would be your first impression? First ideas, thoughts?

Maybe something like "Gosh, they do not even know who the XXX is, there's nothing we could talk about. We'll better look for someone else".
Or, "how exciting, someone with a difference at last". ;-)

Also, did someone have short/long term swinging partners from a different background? Did you have any communications problems or maybe cultural differences and how did you overcome them?

Hopefully you understood my question, but I'd be glad to make it more clear if necessary ...

E&J

[Elusive BiFem]

Welcome to the board. I know you will get lots of replies, but I'll start things off by saying that I honestly don't think you have many things to worry about. Of course, there are always cultural differences, but in this world we live in today, that is not at all unusual. And in fact, even here in the United States, there are sometimes cultural differences between parts of our own country. For example, people in the Northern states live a totally different lifestyle with their snow and ice than do those of us in the Southern areas. They vacation differently, participate in different types of sports activities...eat different types of foods. Talk with different accents. Some of us from the South can hardly understand folks from Boston, and they say the same about us with our Southern accents.

For the most part, people are people and with talk and discussion, they generally find they have more in common than not. And as for the differences...those types of things are fun, I think. Why would I not be interested in learning something about you and your country? There is far more to compatability and interest than simply knowing what shows are popular on TV or who XXX is. Shoot! I don't know who XXX is and don't care.

I know it doesn't help to say, "Don't worry about it" but that about sums it up. I think you'll find most folks to be quite friendly, outgoing, and just as interested in you as you might be in them.

Again - Welcome

- EBF

[Triumphs]

Originally posted by RuCoupleFromAu
Hopefully you understood my question, but I'd be glad to make it more clear if necessary ...
E&J

Don't worry about it, you probubally speak better English than most Americans...

America is such a diverse culture; meeting people from different countries/cultures is an everyday thing. Yes, you may find a few people who treat you bad because you're different, but aren't there assholes where you come from? Most of us, though, care more about your personality than your heritage, and are sincerely interested to learn about other cultures. You may even find a few that are turned on by it (see next paragraph). On top of that, most of us in the lifestyle are laid back and gregarious, so we would welcome you with open arms and friendly handshakes.

On a side note, most American women are attracted to men with accents. There seems to be a particular fondness for Australian accents, but they also like most European and Slavic accents as well. So if you get to come to the states, don't be surprised if you get a little more attention than you expected...

Have fun,

The Triumphs

[meowkittyhascla]

My first thought about meeting people from a different culture or country....What a wonderful chance to learn something new of the world! You have a great opportunty to open your world to others and I suggest that you take it! Have fun!
Hugs and Kisses from Missouri!
PS....As a woman...a man with an accent is the biggest turn on!

[fredandwilma200]

Hi we are new to so welcome Welcome
I dont think that most people would be put off! As long as you have a good attitude and give others the same respect! I see no problem! Good luck

[JustAskJulie]

I don't know about guys but it seems like most women are turned on by foreign accents, so you have a leg up there. I think that as far as the approach as long as it's obvious you are foreign (IE. when you email someone you tell them) and they aren't just assuming that you have really bad English skills then you will be fine. We've had a lot of discussions here about native Americans who have no grasp of the English language and how much that bothers many of us. You on the other hand would have an excuse and be rated much higher than a native who couldn't grasp the language (in fact you have already shown a much better grasp of the languange than some natives I've seen).

As far as the rest, I think it would be a fun learning experience... I'll show you my culture if you show me yours type thing... and when it comes to sex there are no cultural barriers.

[SwtPixieDst]

I would venture to say that the average American has more problems with getting physically involved with someone of a different race (a different skin color) than someone of a different culture - from a different country. For example if you are Mexican American you would have less hesitation to be with someone from Mexico. Most people like to see themselves reflected in thier sexual partners, but a lot of people have a set group of ethnicities that they consider attractive to them and are perfectly fine being with someone who is different in that respect.

A language barrier might be sticky to get around --but, like Julie said, how much talking are you really going to do after you've decided that they are the people you want?

[fun_pairTX]

I wouldn't worry a bit about it. An accent on a woman is a big plus with us, just a bit of mystery you know. When I was single I dated women from all kinds of cultures. One of my favorite things is to vacation on islands in the Caribbean that have another language as their primary means of communication. I have always been fascinated by other cultures and customs. Don't fear that your background will be an impediment, I think it will turn out to be a great asset.

[RuCoupleFromAu]

Thanks to all for your responses and it looks like everyone here is trying to boost our confidence!

Originally posted by JustAskJulie
I think that as far as the approach as long as it's obvious you are foreign (IE. when you email someone you tell them) and they aren't just assuming that you have really bad English skills then you will be fine.

We are now only using the Internet when looking for people, so we have it stated on our profile that we are "foreign" - in case it's a turnoff for someone we'd rather learn it sooner.

We only met one couple so far and the meeting went really well - much better than we could hope. (We just met socially for drinks but now we are all going to move further).

But we're still wondering if it was normal or we were just lucky this time.

E&J

[BradAndJanet]

We find people from different cultures exciting and interesting.

A side note re: attraction for 'foreigners':

There may be a biological component to this, as it's evolutionarily advantageous to mix up the gene pool to avoid congenetal defects. It may be the same mechanism that prevents most people from committing incest. In other words, we've evolved to perfer 'strange' over 'familiar'.

-B

[tazzie_n_truck]

As far as meeting people who have come here from another country we would enjoy the expirience, we have always wanted to learn more about other cultures and other people. When it comes to race, we are colorblind, and we look at people from other counties and cultures the same way.

There may be some language barrier problems but we feel if everyone is comfortable with each other, those problems can be worked out.

If given the chance to meet other couples from different countries or cultures, even if it's just for friendship or to swing with, we would be very excited at the chance and are very open to the possibilities of meeting those people.

From our expirience in the lifestyle, most people we have come across in the lifestyle are very open people and are very open minded to meeting people from different countries and cultures, so good luck to you.

[magnum]

Originally posted by RuCoupleFromAu
Hi all,

we've just introduced ourselves on this board, but to make it simple - we are a young couple, m29/f27, originally from Russia, living in Australia for nearly 3 years and new to swinging.

We've got a question for couples we'd like to ask.

Okay, so imagine you are approached by a couple (some couple like us) - via the Internet or in person - which is not of American origin. Does not matter if they are Russian, French, German, Italian, Polish etc. But it's obvious that they were not born in USA - though their English is good enough, probably even fluent - they still have an accent, they do not know too much about the latest TV shows or serials, politics, popular sports or movie stars... There is some obvious "cultural difference" and maybe some "language barrier" because even fluent English is still worse than being a native speaker ...


So the question is - what would be your first impression? First ideas, thoughts?

Maybe something like "Gosh, they do not even know who the XXX is, there's nothing we could talk about. We'll better look for someone else".
Or, "how exciting, someone with a difference at last". ;-)

Also, did someone have short/long term swinging partners from a different background? Did you have any communications problems or maybe cultural differences and how did you overcome them?

Hopefully you understood my question, but I'd be glad to make it more clear if necessary ...

E&J

Welcom to the board. I personally would welcom an opportunity to swing/play with people from a different country.

Good luck and enjoy.

Magnum Welcome

[leftcoastcouple]

I'd likely be thinking, "Damn, now that seems exotic." Far from a problem, so no worries!!!

Welcome aboard.

[Alura]

Judging from my experiences as an American living in Europe for a long time, I'd say y'all will have no problem finding friends. It's true, no matter how "unexotic" one may be, an accent adds a special aura to a person's style and makes him more interesting.

One nice thing about being a foreigner is that people are not surprised when one says, "I am not understanding this 'XXX.' What is the meaning of this?" Never be afraid of asking questions about words you don't understand.

Keep your voices soft and low. Any language, especially a non-native one, sounds abusive or at least arrogant, when shouted.

Mr. Alura