tri-racial threesome

[marco]

This is where we are at . at the present time. After searching for someone compatible, male, female, or couple we have come to a point of decisions and we would really like some feedback. We have focused on mostly hispanic men and white females. Rhonda said she would never "do" black. Well she called the other day and said "I think I found someone .............but he's black" We talked about it and I told her that if he really impressed her in everyway....clothing, height, weight, personalily, voice tone (she really likes deep tones) then we would go for it. She asked me if I would think less of her and I told her no. She has some reservations about it herself, but at the end I asked her "Would you feel comfortable enough to enjoy it" and she said that as long as I was involved she would go through with it. The main thing that we debated was kissing him on the mouth. I told her I would prefer her not doing that, and she said that that was a point she had already decided not to do. Has anyone dealt with this, is it just something in our head or is there a common hesitancy in the "black thing" or in this particular area?

[Mariposa_y_Oso]

Whoa...another potential can of worms opened.

First, to answer your question: Mari and I really make no distinction based on skin color. Hell...in a lot of people's minds, I'm sure they'd view US as a bi-racial couple, (which makes us laugh our asses off to think of) just because she's hispanic and I'm a Deggo/Mick hybrid. To paraphrase the subject line of another thread on the boards, "That's funny - we don't feel bi-racial! Probably a lot of it has to do with where we grew up - El Paso is a truely multicultural city.

I do have a few questions about these two quotes, however...

//We talked about it and I told her that if he really impressed her in everyway....clothing, height, weight, personalily, voice tone (she really likes deep tones) then we would go for it\\

//The main thing that we debated was kissing him on the mouth. I told her I would prefer her not doing that, and she said that that was a point she had already decided not to do.\\


Just out of curiosity, do these same standards apply to everyone, no matter what race/skin color they may have? Will you not play with anyone that is less that "ideal"? Is kissing completely off-limits, no matter the situation?


Finally, these two statements sort of send up red flags for me...

//She asked me if I would think less of her and I told her no.\\

//She has some reservations about it herself, but at the end I asked her "Would you feel comfortable enough to enjoy it" and she said that as long as I was involved she would go through with it.\\

I'll be the first to admit that this forum and media lends to misunderstandings due to the fact that you don't get the benefit of tone of voice/facial expressions/etc. but based solely on how those two statements come across to me, I think there may be some larger issues here that you two may need to discuss...

~Mike

[marco]

Ah yes the " I presume therefore I will stick foot in mouth" post. I kind of expected this. Is sticking your foot in your mouth a "northern thing" or were you just born with it in. Let me just say that I was told to communicate so I have chosen that avenue, I guess you and your soulmate have screwed every race out there with no reservations????? Good for you now let someone with has more than half a brain give us some feedback. As a matter of fact I have already talked to him about this and we are trying to work out a compromise that will let everyone feel good. Agian...........communicating...........which really my brother you need a couple of classes in.

[marco]

Oso,

I would think that not everyone is compatible with everyone. We do have "standard" or ideals we are looking for. Should the search be for the whole package? Why do something if it can't be what we want it to be? Her comments were out of question because we had never discussed seeking anything other than hispanics and that was her choice. Whatever other help, opinion you may give will be appreciated.

Thanks

[OhioCouple]

I think there are several issues at hand here.

The first being that you are new to swinging and probably have not done enough research at this point to know what the swinger community is comprised of and perhaps do not have all of your rules and boundries in place. That is the first red flag.

Now if you wife does not want to kiss any man or woman, that is a preference. Just the same as some people have long hair, others short, some have red hair and some are brunettes. They are all different but what they have in common is that it is simply just hair.

When it comes to people, some can kiss, some can't. Some are good in bed and others just are plain lousy. Skin coloring has no bearing on how good an individual is. It is just people of what ever skin color that are either good or lousy lovers.

I think if your wife is having these complexes that there are deeper issues involved and in all honesty, I don't think you are being fair to the man you are entertaining the thought of bringing into your play time. At the very least it could cause hurt feelings, maybe produce guilt on her part, or it could turn very ugly if someone feels they were not accepted for who they are. This is the biggest and most colorful red flag of all.

I think you would be wise to reconsider this for the sake of all parties invovled.

To answer your question, regardless of skin color I would not hesitate to be fully involved in every aspect with someone to whom I am attracted to, just as if some hot looking blonde caught my eye (which isn't my hair color of choice) I wouldn't hesitate for a moment to enjoy him to the fullest. It wouldn't even cross my mind.

Lori

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by marco
Ah yes the " I presume therefore I will stick foot in mouth" post. I kind of expected this. Is sticking your foot in your mouth a "northern thing" or were you just born with it in. Let me just say that I was told to communicate so I have chosen that avenue, I guess you and your soulmate have screwed every race out there with no reservations????? Good for you now let someone with has more than half a brain give us some feedback. As a matter of fact I have already talked to him about this and we are trying to work out a compromise that will let everyone feel good. Agian...........communicating...........which really my brother you need a couple of classes in.

Whoa Marco!

Obviously I was posting at the same time as Mariposo_y_Oso and I had not seen any communication until my post came up.

I have read and re-read their posting and I don't see anything that merits that type of temeperament.

Your orgininal questions are what we responded to and no where was there a question that wanted to know how many races we have had sex with, so that remark was way off base.

I suppose I am going to also be one with less than half a brain too since my posting is similar to theirs based on my observations of what I read.

Sorry we couldn't help you.

Lori

[marco]

Ohio,
Thanks for that, maybe I shouldn't of gone there , but we wanted some input here. We just feel that everything should be talked about out front and if it doesn't seem to be going right then we just leave it and go on. In all honesty it's not the race, it's more maybe trying to avoid an uncomfortable moment in the middle of everything. We really just want this to be good.

[Mariposa_y_Oso]

Oh, I'd agree with that - not everyone is compatible. It's just that in your original post, you said that he'd have to to, "really impress her in every way". The point I was trying to make (and did a poor job of) was that if you look hard enough, you can find something wrong with just about everyone:

"His teeth are too white"
"Her breasts are too large"
"His clothes are too expensive"
"She has an extra nostril"

See what I mean? I'm not saying you don't have the right to be choosy. Hell, you have every right to exclude every other person on the planet based on whatever criterea you want if you so choose. I was just cautioning you on holding someone up to a higher standard simply because of race. It came across as sounding like, "well, he's already black, so only if everything else is absolutely perfect about him, he may barely squeak by our standards". I realize this isn't what you said, and in all likelyhood, not what you meant, but it is how it came across. For all you know, he could be a fantastic guy. I'm just advising you to give him the same shot as you would a hispanic/white/Martian/etc. guy.

Folks is folks. There are good, bad, and ugly all around us in every possible package imaginable.

Cheers!
~Mike
(An equal opportunity fornicator)

[Mariposa_y_Oso]

Originally posted by OhioCouple

To answer your question, regardless of skin color I would not hesitate to be fully involved in every aspect with someone to whom I am attracted to, just as if some hot looking blonde caught my eye (which isn't my hair color of choice) I wouldn't hesitate for a moment to enjoy him to the fullest. It wouldn't even cross my mind.

Lori

Hey Ri...

What about powerfully built men with shaved heads and goatees? We need full enjoying, too!

Cheers!
~Mike

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by Mariposa_y_Oso
...I'm a Deggo/Mick hybrid.

Hmmm, so tell me Mike is it true what they say about........naw, you'ld probably lie to me anyway, never mind.

Lori

[THTS]

I cant beleive you guys are slamming him like this...

so he wants to be choosy because the guy is black... isnt that his choice? Maybe he has bad expereinces with black people in the past...

maybe his wife doesnt find black men all that attractive UNLESS they have very specific qualities..

This is the LAST place I would have ever expected political correctedness.

They ARENT fucking the guys personality.... they are fucking his body...

Personally I find very FEW black women attractive.... but if they have a VERY specific set of qualities they can be the most gorgeous people on Earth... doesnt mean I have an opinion about their personalitties either way until I get to know them.

I think you all are reading WAY too much into his post.

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by Mariposa_y_Oso
Hey Ri...

What about powerfully built men with shaved heads and goatees? We need full enjoying, too!

My apologies for leaving out all the bald headed men out there! In your case Mike we just have to consider the goatee coloring and the powerful build would be an added bonus.

Lori

[Mariposa_y_Oso]

THTS?

I wasn't aware that I was slamming anyone. I've gone back and re-read his reply to me and it didn't appear that HE thought I was slamming him, either.

Perhaps you should re-read his original post, it ended with this:

Has anyone dealt with this, is it just something in our head or is there a common hesitancy in the "black thing" or in this particular area?

He was asking for our opinions. I don't look much like a bible prophet, so I don't generally try to blow smoke up people's asses and tell them that what I say is written in stone. I was merely offering an opinion, which was solicited by Marco...


Cheers!
~Mike
(dispenser of the Chill Pills)

[Mariposa_y_Oso]

Originally posted by OhioCouple
Hmmm, so tell me Mike is it true what they say about........naw, you'ld probably lie to me anyway, never mind.

Lori

Me? Lie? NEVER!

You should know by now that my biggest fault is sharing too much info. Besides, I've already admitted that I'm an ogre and a mutant. Imagine Shrek with a goatee. That's pretty much me - except I have really cute ears. :p


~Mike

PS The stories are all TRUE!




I think....




unless they are bad...




in which case.....



THEY LIE LIKE DOGS ON THE PORCH!

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by marco
We just feel that everything should be talked about out front and if it doesn't seem to be going right then we just leave it and go on.

This is very important. Talking and communication are as important, if not more important in my opinion as "No means No".

Continue to talk with each other and feel free to ask questions here. No one is here is judging you or trying to decide what is best for you, we can only offer opinions based on our own experiences. Someone in this thread said that it is very hard to determine exactly what someone means through mere type. Without the body language or inflection of voice. It really is a matter of playing a guessing game.

As for leaving it and going on. Yes, if something doesn't go well you need to make sure you can get past it, but you need to talk about it with each other so that you don't get yourself into that situation again.

Lori