Cautious about going to certain areas because of my race

[Tia Vampire]

I was invited to this swing party in Lake County and because of that places reputation toward african- americans, i did not go. Once a girl at work, who i think had a crush on my boyfrind, told my bofriend that "our kind was not welcome in Lake County". (We are a mixed couple). Should i let what she said bother me or am i correct in my actions of being cautious?Help me out guys, talk to me. I was looking forward to some double penatration this weekend. I don't know if sex is worth hanging from a tree. I live in the south and yes, there are people still stuck in the 1960's

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by Tia Vampire

"our kind was not welcome in Lake County".

Now that's just fuckin' sad. It boggles my mind how people can actually believe some the things they believe. "Not welcome"? No problem. Not exactly a big loss if that's their mentality. Rejection always sucks...even if they ARE assholes...but I think I'd get over it pretty quick.

It could be that they, as a group, simply have their preferences, and there's nothing wrong with that. But if they are somehow implying that "your kind" ( ) is somehow inferior to them, then I'd be tempted to tell them to pucker up and kiss my ass.

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by intuition897

Now that's just fuckin' sad. It boggles my mind how people can actually believe some the things they believe.

But if they are somehow implying that "your kind" ( ) is somehow inferior to them, then I'd be tempted to tell them to pucker up and kiss my ass.

Dito

[JustAskJulie]

While I agree it's very sad I feel it very important to address your very real question. Being from the South myself and having lived in the North I will tell you it's not just a Southern thing, there are racist people everywhere and they tend to live in pockets of uneducated people. There is an area local to me that is known for the same type of attitude.

To answer your question of should you have gone, let me ask you a few questions...
Who invited you to the party? Was it the people hosting it or someone else? How well do you know a) the hosts, b) the people who invited you (if someone else)? Do you know others that would be at the party as well?

[Tia Vampire]

The hosttest invited me and no I don't know any of the other people that will be attending the party.

[EvilMJ]

I'm with Julie in wondering how well you know the hostess. Perhaps you could have spoken to her about your concerns in advance of the party. Having never lived in the south I have no idea what the situation is in regards to racsim. I guess you have to go with your gut, but I would be tempted to do a little investigating first

[Amanda69]

I would think if the hostess invited you then the reputation may be false. Places get names for things without deserving them simply because some silly person decides they don't like something and are going to try and keep everyone else from it.

Wow I am so glad we are in Canada, all our parties are mixed as are our friends...maybe you should come on up for a weekend and meet some very friendly Canadians....

[Bracemaster2]

Originally Posted by Tia Vampire

The hostess invited me and no I don't know any of the other people that will be attending the party.

Well, if the hostess invited you than I'm sure she knows the type of people that will be attending and I'm sure that she wouldn't want to put you in harms way. We're also a mixed couple and so far we've never had an issue.

Good luck..

[Tia Vampire]

Thanks guys for your answers. I may go this weekend 8/26/06.I'll give you guys a full report, if i live through it. If you don't hear from me, at least send flowers.lol just kidding

[edmustang]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

...it's not just a Southern thing, there are racist people everywhere and they tend to live in pockets of uneducated people.

True that! Even here in Colorado. A few years ago I told a friend to go screw himself because of his racist attitudes. I had finally had enough!


p.s. Love the profile pic, Tia!

[Pepper & Drew]

I wouldn't think of going without addressing it with the host, and then I'd still think twice about going. There is a possibility that even though the host has no problem with your relationship, it doesn't mean that there are others there that will make you feel uncomfortable. And, I've spent some time in Lake County, Florida. (my sis-in-law lived there). Your friend's observations are pretty accurate.

Maybe I'm a chicken, but I've had enough dealings with racists that I don't want to go out of my way to get in those situations.

Pepper

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by Pepper & Drew

Maybe I'm a chicken, but I've had enough dealings with racists that I don't want to go out of my way to get in those situations.

Pepper

Pep, with one look at your avatar photo, I have NO idea how someone could be idiot enough to let a silly thing like skin colour blind him (or her) to the fact that you are a total babe! I mean, just look at that butt!

[JustAskJulie]

Still curious how well you know the hostess? I assume the hostess a) knows you are black and b) knows the area well enough to know the attitudes of the people there. If that is the case and she invited you then I would guess that she would not have done so if she knew that there would be others coming that shared the negative attitude. Keep in mind that sometimes just because someone lives in an area that has a bad reputation doesn't mean that they live up to it.

[greaser13]

I would have to agree with Julie. I would hope the hostess would know what type of club or crowd she has at her own party but on top of that if you know her well enough maybe you can express your concerns to her and get a little reassurance

[Dooode]

Having been raised in Canada, I've never found racism to be an issue until I moved here to the States (Canucks have more French/English issues than anything having to do with race! :rollseyes ). Tia commented, "yes there are still people stuck in the 60's" (paraphrasing) and unfortunately it's not just people stuck in the 60's .. but they are definately stuck in some kind of mindset.

Here in Florida, I see races segragated in all different parts of the city and the state. Mexicans, blacks, well-to-do whites .. Segragation and racism appears to be "normal" and I've pretty much accepted that this is the way it is here. I don't like it, but that's the way it is.

I didn't see this as being any different when I lived in California. Take a good honest look around. Is it really all that different where you live? (generalized 2nd person plural "you")

I currently live in a predominantly black neighborhood. I like it here. I get along with my neighbors. We help each other out during storms. We watch each others' backs. It's comfortable.

I've swung with interracial couples. I love 'em! It's like having a good dose of chocolate ice cream after being stuck with vanilla for so long! Yum!!

I think that eradicating the mindset means actively being involved in communities and recognizing that people, despite their races, are really not so different from anyone else, despite their own race.

"Stuck in the 60's"? No, it often seems to be the way of life, is my observation.

It's long since time to get rid of that way of life. "Living in harmony" means going in the same direction and getting one to enhance the other. You can't do that when you're stuck in a box.

And Tia? If you ever swing by Clearwater, look me up. I can probably suggest a few clubs in the area.