Some Thoughts About Swinging and Race

[Greg & Sheryl]

Late last year, Sheryl made a major decision that will affect the rest of our swinging career. She no longer wants to swing with non-black men, so we are now seeking black and interracial couples exclusively. White couples will no longer be considered even though they comprise the majority of the swinging population. Greg finds this decision to be downright racist, but there is little he can do about it. To convince Sheryl to play with a white couple would be tantamount to forcing her to “take one for the team,” which is something that neither of us believe in. Fortunately, all of our regular playmates are interracial couples, so we don’t have to deal with the awkward situation of “dumping” any of our friends.

In chatting with some black gentlemen online, a number of them have offered congratulations to Greg for “converting” Sheryl to black men, but Greg doesn’t take any responsibility for this. On her own, Sheryl finally decided to stop swinging with white men because they have consistently underperformed in bed. This dates back more than a decade, when Sheryl used to swing with her previous husband, who was white. On the other hand, black men would almost always leave her satisfied. Eventually, she decided to cut her losses by cutting off white men altogether.

This puts Greg in a frustrating situation. Both online and at swing parties, he frequently comes across couples who seem like they would be compatible with us, but he has to pass them by merely because the husband is white. Regardless of Sheryl’s previous experiences, they are plenty of white men out there who are capable of giving Sheryl a good time, but Sheryl now refuses to take the time to find them.

It’s not that there is anything wrong with having a preference. It’s perfectly acceptable for Sheryl to prefer black men and to seek them out. However, it seems foolish for her to deny herself the opportunity to meet and play with some wonderful people just because of the color of their skin. In fact, Greg tends to be more sexually attracted to Hispanic and black women, but he thankfully did not allow that preference to keep him from dating and eventually marrying a white woman such as Sheryl.

Fortunately, this situation has not slowed down the frequency of our swinging activities. We recently discovered a small Yahoo! group which is run by a handful of black men who enjoy hosting swing parties. The parties are held at a local motel about every three weeks and generally consist of about 5-8 couples, three or four of the black men and one or two single females. It’s a perfect group for couples and single ladies who are into interracial swinging, and the extra men can insure that the women can stay busy all night long without having to wait.

[JustAskJulie]

To me the way that Sheryl came to her conclusion and decision says more than the decision itself, and because of the WAY that she came to her decision, I don't see it as being a racist issue. When you have nothing but bad experiences you tend to look for the commonality, in this case all the guys she had bad experiences with were white, after finding the commonality you tend to want to avoid it, as she has chosen to do.

[Vespertine]

Everyone has a right to their preferences and to seek out what turns them on and to avoid what doesn't. Being selective regarding race is no different than being selective regarding sexual orientation or height/weight, etc.. I suppose.

My husband wouldn't want to (knowingly) be involved in a MFM or MFMF with a bi-male. I suppose people can take offense to that, and I suppose he could be missing out on a great couple too. I also am not turned on by heavy males, so I don't want to swing with them. I'm probably missing out on a few great guys who are probably great lovers too!

It's all personal preference. We can't be politically correct to the point where we're not enjoying ourselves anymore.

I get a bit peeved when I see white couples advertising for "a big black cock". I find that racist agaist black men. I think it separates them and it bugs me. I wonder what black men feel about adds like that? Greg, care to enlighten me?

Cock has always been cock to me...black, brown, white, etc... I like what's attatched to it. However, the majority of my experience has been with white men, so maybe my opinion isn't well-formed.

[Greg & Sheryl]

Originally Posted by Vespertine

I get a bit peeved when I see white couples advertising for "a big black cock". I find that racist against black men. I think it separates them and it bugs me. I wonder what black men feel about ads like that? Greg, care to enlighten me?

This black man finds it to be kind of funny. You have no idea how many white couples contact us because they have this fetish for the "BBC." However, it seems that other black men (including the ones in the Yahoo! group we mentioned) actually embrace this stereotype. In fact, we personally know one black man how has made a virtual career out of being the big black cock for horny white wives. Some men, regardless of color, have no problem being objectified as long as it gets them laid.

[Vespertine]

Thanks for letting me know!

[harleycouple24]

i agree with Greg,it down right sounds racist to me.thats fine if you like black men sexually.everybody on here has likes and dislikes.hell,we wouldnt ever swing with a black male but you dont see us on here proclaiming it and telling things about a race like they just dont perform well.i find this post by sheryl very disturbing.we have to hear everyday about racesim(sp?)and how blacks are better at sports or whites dont give the blacks the respect they deserve.i think all men are created the same.no racesim here just the love of our fellow man.some people are better at sports some are better at sex.how does black or white come into this?are you talking about the myth that black men all have giant cocks?i really love reading this board although i didnt think i would hear ,"I like black cock better than white cock"seems to me you should keep your mouth shut and do your thing.what ever makes you happy,do it.harley

[bear_and_babe]

I guess I have several questions, so hear goes:

Why does it seem to Sheryl that black men have a better performance history then white men? Can't black men have performance issues just like white men? How is she going to feel if she approaches a black man and he says, "Sorry, I only play with black women"? Sort of a reverse racist. Now, don't get me wrong. I respect the fact that Sheryl has made a decision on who she wants to play with. That is a personal choice.

And I always have to laugh at women who say they want a "Big Black Dick". The reason I laugh is because one of my favorate play partners is a black man, and my white husband is larger then he is. His wife and I have talked about that and we just get a laugh that most white women think that all black men are large. To me, a dick is a dick, I don't care what color or size it is. I do care what type of person it is attached to.

[funtoplay]

Originally Posted by bear_and_babe

To me, a dick is a dick, I don't care what color or size it is. I do care what type of person it is attached to.

All I have to say to that is AMEN!

[NewTemptations]

I see Sheryl's choice more as having a preference than being racist. To me she knows what she wants from this lifestyle and isnt willing to settle for less.

I know many couples/women that will ONLY play with women. Does this make them sexist? I know a man that only likes to play with bbw's. Does this make him prejudiced against the hwp people out there? I have met many black guys that will only play with white women, are they racist? There are those out there that will only play with others that fall within a certain age range. There are those out there that dont want to deal with smokers or drinkers. Those that will only play with bi couples and those that refuse to play with bi couples. What should we classify these people as?

We all have things that turn us on and/or turn us off when it comes to choosing our playmates within this lifestyle. Each person in this lifestyle makes their own choices as to what they want and how flexible they are with their own personal choices. I dont think its ever about being prejudiced in any way, just everyone seeking whatever it is that makes them the most satisfied.

Laura

[VegasLee]

Originally Posted by harleycouple24

.hell,we wouldnt ever swing with a black male but you dont see us on here proclaiming

it seems to me you should keep your mouth shut and do your thing.what ever makes you happy,do it.harley

Well, you just did proclaim it right here on these boards.

For a group that is supposed to be so open minded then why would you think that she does not have the RIGHT to speak her mind just as you have?

Telling her to keep her mouth shut? She does not have the same rights as you just because she does something that you would not do?

This lifestyle is supposed to be about being honest with yourself, your SO and the people in the lifestyle. I guess that only applies if the Truth follows Your rules.

In all the time I have been in this lifestyle and on Julies board I have never seen such BS.

[Pepper & Drew]

I think it is certainly your perrogative, but yes, you are limiting the couples that you can play with by saying that you wouldn't play with white males. When we are looking at ads on the Swing Lifestyle, I always look at those that say white couples only, or won't play with blacks, etc and think, oh well, it's their loss. I understand preferences, but completely cutting off a group of people, to me is extreme. But, to each his own....

Pepper

[beaverz]

I guess I am a little confused on the purpose of the original post.

I realize everyone has their sexual preference, I just hope the Swingers Board doesn’t turn into a place where everyone feels they have to list a race they won’t swing with.

[Greg & Sheryl]

Originally Posted by beaverz

I guess I am a little confused on the purpose of the original post.

Your confusion may come from the fact that this really isn't a solvable problem. Our purpose was just to hear what others thought about our situation. We felt it was an intriguing circumstance that was worthy of discussion on this board.

[harleycouple24]

Beaverz's post was what i was trying to say.vegaslee,you are right,everyone has the right to post or say anything they want but i didnt think my post was bullshit.i simply was expressing my right.i have read your post for awhile now and didnt always agree with what you had to say but i read it and went on.thats what forums are about

[twoplayful2]

It is a pretty interesting thread. And for the record, we both think it's just another preference like any other. Mr TP2 finds features he likes in just about every size, shape, color. Mrs TP2 does have some types she's just not attracted to. Doesn't mean she won't talk to them, have a great time hanging out, even be friends with. Just means doesn't want to have sex with. And also for the record, that type is definitely NOT black men!