Ever tempted to get pregnant on purpose when swinging?

[BettyAnnMBSC]

Ever tempted to get pregnant on purpose when swinging?

The OP didn't ask whether anyone had attempted to do so secretly or with malice aforethought. Just simply "ever tempted to get pregnant on purpose"?

The question doesn't assume any malice or alterior motives or even deception. Yet, the replies each assume that there is a hidden agenda amongst anyone who would think of such a thing and that anyone that would consider this is somehow a terrible person == isn't this a bit judgemental from a sector that is known to be reasonably nonjudgmental?

Let me ask this -- let's say that you couldn't conceive with your SO and you had decided you wanted children. Let's say too that one option were artificial insemination. Is it such a far leap to consider non-artificial insemination with a willing playmate?

What if there were three-way approval of the idea of selective impregnation? Can we say that there are no advantages to the concept?

What if the couple in question enjoys a fantasy that involves relationship external impregnation -- are they somehow wrong? Any more than couples that enjoy the fantasy of multi-partner intimate relations? I've read that quite a few women enjoy that fantasy as do their husbands.

And, in some communities in the US (particularly in the south) -- selective breeding (aka non-paternity event, aka getting "knocked up by a lover") is not all that uncommon among the general population. A simple review of some family line genealogical DNA results will prove that non-paternity events are fairly common in many communities.

I'm reminded of a joke with the punch line "don't worry Suzy, you ain't no kin to pappy noways"

So, for the guys reading out there -- she knows that she's the mom, are you 100% sure that your the bio-dad?

[fun_pairTX]

The legal and moral ramifications are enormous, we can't fathom who would ever consider this type of behavior.

Rampant behavior like this could only lead to a worldwide game of "Who's Your Daddy?"

[cm89]

The thought is enough to scare the crap out of you...

Count us in as a NEVER

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by BettyAnnMBSC

What if there were three-way approval of the idea of selective impregnation? Can we say that there are no advantages to the concept?

No, can't say it is far fetched. However if those parties involved do not involve an attorney and make clear as to who is what and the issues surrounding raising the child, limitations, visitation, etc...they are opening themselves to a HUGE can of spiney worms. Artificial insemination would not only be cheaper, but less of a potential heart/headache.

[Elusive BiFem]

True that the OP didn't post the involvement of malice, etc., but since the majority of us assumed that to be the case, and since it would be rather unusual for swing partners to decide to use some poor innocent man as an "artificial inseminator" I think we are all talking about the same thing.

If ALL parties agreed and are willing for the pregancy to occur, so be it. That's between them. But without the approval of all, it is a can of worms I would never want to be a part of. And what about the ultimate welfare of that child. A few months (years?) back there was a heart-wrenching thing on TV where the natural father (I think) claimed an adopted child and won the court battles. This pregnancy thing could present similar scenarios down the road. Not to mention...doesn't a father have a right to know he sired a child?

Lots of scenarios I suppose, but again with the assumption that the woman wants to become pregnant and uses the male swing partner without his knowledge or approval to achieve that goal. Despicable, I think.

- EBF

[DuncanDoughnut]

Here, let me think about this one for a second............o.k. done.
Nope, never, can't even picture the idea in my head. Can't even find the thought in there. I'm not even wanting to know that someone one would think it.

[biblonde]

NOPE NEVER!!! We take extra percautions against this....besides my hubby being fixed i also use the pill cause ya know condoms can break! So both of us are double covered!

[fredandwilma200]

I Have voted no. My husband at one point did talk about if we wanted anymore children or not...And said NO WAY! He is not able to have children..but I am..but I could never ever...think about it at all...We did have a scare not to long ago and I posted a question on it..ask opinions..NOTHING WAS DONE ON PURPOSE....It was just something that "happened". The condomn broke and then I went nuts..I was two weeks late and I thought the worst...I went and had a pregnancy test and other tests done and thank god everything was ok...But no I couldnt think about that..TO MUCH DRAMA

[lovers]

Originally posted by Triumphs:

"I believe that, for every vice, there are people who find that very thing arousing. As vices go, though, this one is rather exotic."

That would be correct. We (or rather I being the male half of this couple) get invitatations to "breeding parties." For those of you who don't know what these parties are all about, the women who participate in thes parties have bareback sex with men who understand that doing so MAY result in the woman getting pregnant (I use the word may because some of the women may or may not be on birth control. You're never sure). More often than not, these parties are interracial (read: Black males, white females. Being black, that's why I get invited). I also get invites from couples or females who want to sleep with me and want to make the experience more exciting by forgetting to take their pill.

Basically, these people are out there and there are more of them than you think.

(For the record, I've never gone to one of these partes and don't ever plan on it. Nor do I plan on playing with a couple or a female that wants to play in this way for a thrill.)

[lovers]

It should also be noted that according to the book "Sperm Wars" By Robin Baker (a very interesting read by the way), that about 10% of all children do NOT have their fathers genes. Which means that the father is someone else.

Intentional or not, this does happen.

[Elusive BiFem]

Well, must admit...you could have blown me over with a feather, lovers. Had no idea such things took place. And I'll always wonder why.

- EBF

[leftcoastcouple]

Originally posted by BettyAnnMBSC
The question doesn't assume any malice or alterior motives or even deception. Yet, the replies each assume that there is a hidden agenda amongst anyone who would think of such a thing and that anyone that would consider this is somehow a terrible person == isn't this a bit judgemental from a sector that is known to be reasonably nonjudgmental?

Let me ask this -- let's say that you couldn't conceive with your SO and you had decided you wanted children. Let's say too that one option were artificial insemination. Is it such a far leap to consider non-artificial insemination with a willing playmate?

BettyAnnMBSC, I love your posts. You're so consistently down to earth and able to cut through BS, each one is a gem.

Even when I disagree with you--which is rare, and in this case I don't, because I'm in the minority and 100% on board with you--I respect where you're coming from, because you are objective and not afraid to take the minority position, no matter what the issue.

Rock on, girl!

[SluttyWife]

I can't believe somebody asked this question!
Of course not. But now I'm wondering how many
swinging chicks there are out there!





;-*

[Brit_Pair]

Originally posted by BettyAnnMBSC
The OP didn't ask whether anyone had attempted to do so secretly or with malice aforethought. Just simply "ever tempted to get pregnant on purpose"?

The question doesn't assume any malice or alterior motives or even deception. Yet, the replies each assume that there is a hidden agenda amongst anyone who would think of such a thing and that anyone that would consider this is somehow a terrible person == isn't this a bit judgemental from a sector that is known to be reasonably nonjudgmental?

I can't speak for the others who posted in a similar vein to myself, but I evidently didn't read the post in the same way you did. In fact, given your response, I challenged myself to go back, re-read the OP, and see if I had indeed reacted too hastily, or without seeing the deeper meaning. I still don't feel that I did.

Karen12345's choice of language - especially "I have to admit that it is a naughty and somehow tempting idea to play the real game... tends to rule out the scenario you later invoked: childless couple, infertile male, insufficent cash. To my mind, it implied an element of deceit, which was what I took exception to.

If a couple see a swinging partner as a solution to their infertility problem, that is of course their right - provided that the partner is fully aware of the goal and the possible implications. And if that *was* the sort of issue Karen12345 wanted feedback on, then perhaps she should have made that a little more evident in her OP. Perhaps things will be resolved when she returns to the thread.

In any event, given the majority's reaction - and knowing the quality of some of the people who make up that majority - I think it's harsh of you to play the 'judgemental' card.

[Karen12345]

Hi again,

this poll and the postings are very interesting for me. Thanks for all the feedback. I would just like to make some points clear:

first of all my question was about temptation - many of the postings argue with consequences (financial, emotional, legal...). I think temptation is not thinking about consequences. Thats the next step: doing it or not - thats why we are humans and not animals! Many answers avoided to deal with temptation - why? I can also say that i would NEVER do it, but could i be tempted...? i have to admit: yes. This gave me a lot to think about - what is swinging really about? only fun? Or do i want to sleep with other men, because some part of me wants them to become a father? Hard questions and answers!

Karen

PS: i have read a statistic that about 15% of us have other fathers than we think...