What if you become pregnant?

[fredandwilma200]

What would you do if you were swinging and became pregnant from the others partner?
Would you tell the other person? Would you never tell them? if your the man would you want to be told? Would you want to have an involvment with the child or would you be able to give up all your rights? What if it wasnt so easy to hide that it wasnt your husbands child? If if the other person you were swinging with was of another color? How would you all handle this if you have other children? You would pretty much be forced into explaining something if the child is of another color? Just thought I would ask about this since I havent seen anything on this subject here!

[fun_couple]

This is something I have often thought about, My DH has had a vasectomy, & because of that, I am not even on the pill, I am a smoker, so being on the pill puts me at a high risk for alot of medical problems, So far we have used condoms & only been with men that are also V-Safe, But if we did happen to full swing with a couple where the man wasn't Vsafe & the condom broke, I would get the morning after pill. (But I do plan on getting another form of birth control,) Any good suggestions besides the pill? (remember I'm a smoker) I have 3 children & raising another just isn't in the cards for me...... No chance Noway, Nohow!

[fredandwilma200]

Actually to answer the question any suggestions? I am talking to my doctor about getting my tubes tied..He said it takes about 15 minutes! Seems like it would be an easy solution..but has anyone had that done? Or do you or can you tell me anything about it?

We have thought of the same thing.

That would be a BAD situation since I am V-safe and our families know that.

Mrs naughty went on the patch. But that also isnt recommended for smokers. Plus we always use a condom.

[bugaboos]

Hubby is V-safe and I am fitted with an IUD. I believe the 10 year type has no hormones and my be safe for smokers.. but don't quote me on that! We also use condoms.

Our families are aware of hubby's choice and it would be hard for us to explain it away, were it to happen. I'm not sure what we'd do. Keep it, for certain, but in regards to everything else involved in such a situation...I just don't know, I guess we'd take baby steps and try to figure it all out together.

[SwtPixieDst]

I think that you would have to be upfront and honest with the potential father. If you are open enough to have sex with him then you can certainly tell him that he might be a father.

If it were me personally and I had other children I would seriously consider an abortion. That's a little extreme and controversial but what DO you say to your other children -- an adult decision to swing would certainly impact them in ways. If I hadn't had any children, which is the situation I'm in now, I would possibly consider having the child.

An alternative to the pill would be to use a contraceptive film or foam as a back up. It's not something I would advise using prior to oral sex since it tends to change the taste. But it's quick and easy and not messy to use. And you don't have to go to the doctor to get it -- it's available at the drug store/grocery.

[4forfun]

Well I don't think we would keep it, sad as it is but as I'm 45 now it wouldn't be very safe for the babies health, so as my dh has also had a vasectomy we're going to have to take extra measures not to get pregnant.
We haven't swung yet but I have thought about it a lot as my youngest is 3 so it looks like I'm still fertile as I've got a 5 year old as well
Mrs.

[tntfuncpl]

I have thought long and hard about this topic. I have had my tubes tied - but hubby is not V-safe. If he were to get another woman pregnant - I don't think I would handle it very well. I feel very selfish admitting it - but its true. If the family had to know he got someone else pregnant - I don't know if I could let them know I had approved of his actions. We use condoms - but there are always risks. I don't know how we would be able to make it through that.

Wilma- the surgery was not that bad - I think I had it on a Thursday and was back to work on Monday. It was worth it - for sure!!!

[OhioCouple]

Wow! So many questions and food for thought. I am no longer able to bear children, however my husband can. In the case of playing with a couple in which the female is still fertile, a condom is always used. Condoms can and do break or slip and this could become an issue.

I think it makes a difference on how well you know your play partners. If it could be one of several people, then you are into another whole can of worms. We choose to be friends with our play partners (which are very few) and I would hope if this situation arose that they would come to us about it, so we could all make an informed decision of how to proceed. Speaking from experience (that I'll not go in to) it is very important to know the medical histrory of the unborn child's bio-logical parents.

I would have to think that morally, if I could become pregnant and did, that we would let the others know. We would learn their position on it and decide where to go from there, dependent upon the response from the other couple/single. If nothing else, we would need their family medical history and wouldn't be able to get that without letting them know.

Good questions.

[HotCoupleGnS]

Like it was said earlier, abortion is a controversial topic, but that would be our route. It can't be any more controversial or harder to deal with then having another mans baby when you are married. I wouldn't want to be that child, born in a situation like that. Too hard to explain, & embarassing for people to know if you were that child. The world is just too cruel to put a child in the world with something like that starting out.

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally posted by fredandwilma200
Actually to answer the question any suggestions? I am talking to my doctor about getting my tubes tied..He said it takes about 15 minutes! Seems like it would be an easy solution..but has anyone had that done? Or do you or can you tell me anything about it?

It is a relatively simple and routine procedure, with minimal discomfort and down time.

If you are certain you don't want more children, and you want to continue in the lifestyle, it certainly seems to be the best alternative, IMO, and certainly preferable to finding yourself pregnant or even worrying about the possibility. It might even make sex between you and your husband better without having to worry about unexpected pregnancy.

But what of your husband? Has he had a vascectomy?

- EBF

[OhioCouple]

Well in my attempt to answer the original questions, I missed the intent. The other questions are very good ones tho.

I had a tubal 20 years ago. Obviously things have changed tremendously as mine was not a 15 minute procedure nor did it have minimal discomfort. Down time was only about three days tho.

I would be interested in hearing from others who have had this done in the last ten years or so.

[mrs good times]

I'm also considering getting my tubes tied or an IUD. Mr. is V-safe and we have no children and don't want any. I would not tell the partner because I know I would not want to carry the child and since it is my body I feel it would be my decision. I also realize that abortion is controversial but for me it would be the only answer. I also have a disease that could be genetically passed on to the child and could cause me serious medical problems during pregnancy.

[fredandwilma200]

No my husband HAS NOT had a vasectomy however he had cancer and the radiation that was given, made him sterile! He will never again have a child! No medical way, no way! His whole family knows this!
The main reason I have not went into talk to doctor yet is because for one I would have to explain why and two...I had to be gassed once to have surgery and they had a hard time waking me up...so there is that risk head bang

[fredandwilma200]

Mrs good times,

Most people have no trouble with the iud I had a hell of a time! My cervix was to small to have one in all the time! So they had to take it out! IT was bad but my cousin has had one (maybe not the same one) since she was 16 and is now 29 and has never had problems with it!