Pregnancy...

[LIZA]

Well I am pro-choice, so abortion would always be an option for me if it ever came to that.
But to me, the man I am married to would have a right to voice his feelings on my choice. I personally would not want a second man involved with his opinions, emotions, guilt and fear! I think the humane thing would be not to say a word. Women get pregnant so unfortunately we are often in the position of having to bear the burdens on our own.
Once again this is a big part of why we remain "soft swingers"

[PA_RACERS]

I am also pro choice. It would be my husband and my choice. I don't think I would even let the other man know. Thank goodness I have my tubs tied and really don't have to worry about it much. If my husband were to impregnant another lady, I wouldn't want to know. But I also wouldn't stop him from doing what he wanted to. If he wanted to be in the childs life I would respect that.

Marsha

[JustAskJulie]

Originally posted by LIZA:
<STRONG>Snittykitty-

If you got another man's wife pregnant during a casual encounter, would you honestly want to have her consult you on the decision of abortion, adoption or keeping the child? Would you want her to raise that child and know it was yours??
The way I see it, a married woman who is pregnant needs to make that choice with her husband since he is the one who will live with it, not the sperm donor who mistakenly impregnanted her. I would hope most women who fully swap, especially those who do not use condoms, are prepared to have an abortion if they get pregnant. Or if they have the child, to have the good sense not to question its paternity. What good could come of that? Myself the risks and possible complications far outweigh the potential fun, so I don't fuck others</STRONG>

For once, Liza, I couldn't agree more.

Back before we were married my hubby was involved in a 3some with a married couple that he was friends with. The woman was using Norplant (the implant) but at some point she did get pregnant. It is possible that my husband could be the biological father of that child. We all know this is possible.. but the couple decided that they didn't want to know. They have never questioned the issue. They got divorced a few years ago and we thought the issue might come up then, luckily it didn't.

If I were to get pregnant in a swinging situation, we would know it wasn't my husbands (he's had a vasc), but we would not consult the other couple on the issue. It's enough that it would affect our relationship, why should it have to affect two? Abortion is an option for us, but I can't say that that is 100% the way I would go (right at this moment it probably would be), but I won't know until that situation comes up. If at that point I find that I am pregnant and decide that I actually do want a child .. then I might decide to keep it. Whatever I decide, it's a decision I will make with my husband.. and the sperm doner will have no say in the matter.. nor will he know that he has donated sperm.

Let's not turn this into a moral debate on abortion.. I'll be opening the "General Chat" forum this week.. save that debate for that forum.

[LaylaSusanne]

WHEW!!! What a HUGE can of worms!

But something everyone should at least think about and discuss together.

I have had a partial hysterectomy, and can not have more children. Tom, however, is fertile, although he would need artificial insemination, according to a doctor. (but you know how wrong that can be sometimes)

Him having a vasectomy is not an option, because we DO want to have a child, with a surrogate, in the next couple of years. As a matter of fact, we want one very badly, and have been saving the money for both the procedure and the surrogate (nearly $50,00)

Which leads to the real issue..if he were to impregnate another woman. I don't know. It was something we had discussed. And at one time, when we were with the one and only SINGLE female we have been with, it was agreed between all of us that it would be an abortion. (a decision I had a hard time with, but I had to respect HER choice for her body)

Tom ALWAYS uses condoms, religiously. And also uses spermicidal jelly with them. So the chances are pretty slim. We only full-swap with 2 other couples right now, who we know very well, and we have all agreed as to what would be done in the event of pregnacy (it would be the husband's..no questions asked) But again, EVERYONE uses at least 2 forms of protection, if not 3 or 4.

But, what DID happen was that the single female (I posted about her a long time ago) DID e-mail me shortly after we ended the relationship claiming to be pregnant with Tom's child. She also was very cruel about it, reminding me I couldn't have children, and that she would "treasure the one thing I could never have...Tom's child" and also saying that Tom would now love her because she could give him a baby and I couldn't.

So, even with her being so cruel, my first thought was for the baby. I called and made her an appointment with a doctor, and Tom and I immediately went to see a lawyer about his parental rights. I was fully prepared to accept this child if it was his. And I knew that it did not mean he had any feelings towards the girl at all.

It turned out to all be a lie, she was not pregnat, only trying to cause problems. But it led to the two of us discussing this again with the clearer realization that it COULD happen, and that people may not always behave the way you expect them to, or the way they agreed to in the beginning.

So, you really DON'T know what you will do until you are faced with it. You can be very careful, and like Julie, I agree there is much more to be careful of than pregnancy. And you can, and should, certainly discuss it, and try to really consider all possibilities. But you will never really know until it happens.

Anyway, that's just my $0.02 worth.

Layla

[midwestcple4fun]

Hello all.

We have a question for all the swingers out there.

Has anyone became pregnant while swinging? If so, was there any doubt as to who the father was? Any stories to tell?

Just curious since we are new to this and overheard someone talking about it the other day where the girl was unsure who the father was since she had several boyfriends.

Thanks for the info. Private messages are also okay if you don't want to post in the chat forum.

P & C

[naughty A]

I "heard" a story.

Couple was swinging with friends - the condom broke.
the husband had had a vasectomy. the wife turns up pregnant.
she had an abortion but they all sat down and discussed it.

granted this story is one that I heard second hand but it is the more serious.

on a personal level.

We were with another couple and she got pregnant, her husband had also had a vasectomy. But they had no doubt that he, her husband was the father. (we had also used condoms with no mishaps) We asked them if they wanted to talk about it but they were quite sure. She did end up loosing the baby. but promptly followed that up with a tubal ligation. Actually I had completely forgotten this instance until now ... It was quite a few years ago...

[Vjklander]

I suspect its one of those things that isn't talked about if it happens. But, it is a distinct possibility, and something that should be discussed a priori.
J

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by midwestcple4fun

Just curious since we are new to this and overheard someone talking about it the other day where the girl was unsure who the father was since she had several boyfriends.

I have never known anyone in which this has happened to in the swinging environment, but I would have to guess that since the majority of swingers are in the thirty plus age groups they are either V-safe or have had tubals.

I would have to assume that those who are still in the child bearing years take the appropriate precautions in order not to become pregnant, which includes the use of condoms. Generally your mainstream dating crowd isn't as responsible about their sexual safety and you will hear more of one not knowing who the father is.

Lori

[naughty A]

Originally posted by OhioCouple
I would have to guess that since the majority of swingers are in the thirty plus age groups they are either V-safe or have had tubals.

I don't find that to be true at all - I'm 34 and have been in the lifestyle since my mid 20's - most of the people I have met are in my same age range, I'd say more than half of the people attending clubs are still in their child bearing years. Granted most women are on the pill or the couple practices some other form of birth control, but very few have gone the surgical route yet.

I would have to assume that those who are still in the child bearing years take the appropriate precautions in order not to become pregnant, which includes the use of condoms.

ABSOLUTELY, but accidents can happen.

come to think of it I even know couples who had stopped full swing and were only doing soft swing while they were trying to conceive.

have to agree on the fact that swingers do take precautions and have thought out the risks more thoroughly than your avg. person.

Naughty A.

[PaulKing]

I would hope that couples are on the pill if they are of child bearing age. The condom, with a failure rate of about 35%, is like playing Russian Roulette.

In a Swing situation the condom failure rate can be even higher as you have little control of the lubricants being used. Whipped cream, for example, 'rots' latex in under five minutes.

I have been swinging for more year's than I care to mention and have never known of a single case. but that is not to say it never happens.

Best wishes,

Paul

[JustAskJulie]

This topic has come up in a couple of different forms here. Both in the "do you still swing if you get pregnant" and "what if you weren't sure who the father is?" type questions. I've listed some links below for both.

Pregnant Wife - should we still swing?

Swinging While Pregnant

What if she gets pregnant

Help I'm Pregnant

Condom Breakage.. A little Spazzed

Pregnancy... - this is the one on "what if..."

[darmok]

What would you , man or woman, do if you got pregnant or got someone pregnant in a swap scenario? Not all birth control is 100% effective. Also don you think that if this is going to be a long term lifestyle that the man should have a vasectomy? I did and its great What r the opinions out there ?

[bill&sabrina]

We have decided that if I were to get pregnant the baby would be accepted as our own. If Bill was to get another woman pregnant we would not be so arrogant as the expect to be told about it happening. Where is the rule stating that men have to be told about it? However if told that Bill had gotten a woman pregnant we would take as much responsibility as we were allowed to give. And if it happens we are not going to regret it. We feel that couples that full swap should be prepared for this possibility.
Sabrina & Bill

[windsor4fun2]

Accidents do happen. If you participate in full swap you must be prepared to accept the risks as well as the pleasures. If my wife got pregnant we would assume it was mine. Unless there is a compelling medical reason to find out for sure I see no reason to do otherwise.

Jesse