Pregnant!!!!

[alabamafuntonig]

Sounds to me like alabama needs to read up on different birth control methods. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but I think most of us know that "pulling out" won't keep you from getting pregnant.

such as the pill and condoms i suppose! maybe iud or norplant. ya thew sponge too. noxyil 9 and other various creams works too abstanence(hum fool proof) .

now to reverberate your point and indulge this (new fish )
you see ya got to have rythem i suppose i guess control , i think in my adolecent stages of life i learned some wear the female egg needs to have sperm to be fertilized(correct me if im wrong)

some can provide, some can control it some cant, try a ovulation chart, a period planer..the body is a funny thing it ovulates 1 egg for 3-4 days a month then cleans it out. as they say you got one shot one oppurtunity. the sperm can swim and stay alive in some cases 24-48 hours after being deposited in the womens inerds.

i guess some people are just more fertile than others . what works for me may not work for you. but as far as knowing what and how not to get pregnant im ok with it . my children were planed and not accidents. and even if there was a "mishape" guess what you do the deed ,and plant the seed you have to let it grow! im cool with that! its not me who needs to read up on things ...im not going to get pregnant! as a matter of fact i will never become pregnant!

[ionsawmill]

I'm not sure, but I think what alabamafuntonig was saying is that even if he is wearing a condom, he still pulls out; not that he relies on this as a primary form of birth control. I think a condom + coitus interuptus would definitely be more effective than a condom alone.

[alabamafuntonig]

you are correct. a little of both actualy

but if ya dont plant the seed the tree wont grow..

[Lakotarose]

Okay Tia & I both know what other forms of birth control that is out there for us as well as for the men, Ken knows that I always take my pill everyday, Joe knew when Tia would miss a day or 2 but once she got back from the states helping his sister out down there for 9weeks & came back saw her doctor got her exam done then a new prescription for her pills she just happened to have forgotten to pick them up immediately 2 weeks late to be exact then she decided to wait until her next period to take them well that was the wrong thing to do becuz she got knocked up, if any of you met her you would think as well that she did this on purpose becuz Joe has been pressuring her to get a job becuz he has been working so hard to provide for the 4 of them (her son, their daughter & the 2 of them) and he's not getting anywhere trying to get all the bills paid & making sure that there is food in the house. She has always tried finding one excuse after another not to work, 1 excuse she always used was that she had no car to get out there to submit resumes and the second one she used when she got a car was noone to watch their daughter, I always volunteered to do this for her but she always found another excuse not to go, the 3rd one was she wanted to have another baby b4 she turns 30 so after the baby then she'd think of finding a job. ONE tooooo many excuses & Joe has even called her on this one telling her that she got what she wanted was another baby so she doesn't have to work so obviously she's messed up on her pills more than once since being back. She has been trying too hard to convince everyone that she didn't plan this to happen but she never told Joe in the first place that she wasn't on her pills for a month, she knows that he would be very ticked off with her if she planned to get pregnant on purpose knowing she wasn't on her pills and being willing and able to sleep with Ken & if the child turned out to be Ken's & not his. He would feel very betrayed on her part for doing this. He's confided in me numerous times that he feels she hasn't been truthful with him about her birth control I feel it's up to her to tell him & not me so i said nothing. But as I said she & I as well as the men know there are other forms of birth control. Thanks for the input keep them coming i'll read every piece of advice you're all willing to give me thanks.

[BettyAnnMBSC]

hubby put this into simplest terms early on and has shared the idea with at least one of our playmates...

"no birth control method is 100% except abstinence. Since we're obviously not gonna do without -- getting pregnant is a possibility we might have to face. So, if we do, we deal with it and move on. No big deal -- it's part of the lifestyle."

[ionsawmill]

Originally posted by BettyAnnMBSC
"no birth control method is 100% except abstinence.

Tell that to Mary.

[ionsawmill]

Originally posted by alabamafuntonig
you are correct. a little of both actualy

but if ya dont plant the seed the tree wont grow..

Your eloquence astounds me.

[Lakotarose]

Hey there everyone, Thank you all for replying & adding your thoughts. I've read every one of them & appreciate what advice was given. Tia is no longer pregnant she had a miscarriage & was pretty upset by this & the news that she was exactly around 10wks pg so that really got the guys thinking about whose child it could've been. Now her & her fiance are trying to have another one but he's been talking non stop about bringing in reinforcements & with Tia not being on pills she wants only his child but has been awfully flirty with my boyfriend who does flirt back but insists that he wouldn't go any further knowing if he does i'd leave if she ended up with his child instead of her fiance's. Everything got out of hand for a while there but he & I went away for awhile & sort of worked things out & agreed that we don't need this lifestyle @ least I don't. Anyhow just wanted to touch base & let you all know what's been going on. Ciao all 4 now

[wrnakedru]

It gets discouraging at times - we all get so involved with a situation someone asks for help with. Start giving our thoughts, sharing our concerns, offering advice, asking questions. Getting more details.

And then poof - the person at the core of the situation disappears.

And we have no idea how things came out.

Could make a person go batty, ya know?

So thanks so much for taking the time to come back and update us on this story. I am sure many will be relieved to hear this is what happened in this particular situation.

During my "fertile years", I gave birth to two daughters, nearly five years apart. I also had three miscarriages. One between the two births, the other two after the second child. Only the first one was a distressful event, as we had been trying to get pregnant again and it was taking a while.

The last two miscarriages were both a relief - almost blessings, actually. The first of those I had become pregnant despite having an IUD - which had somehow ended up actually in my uterus. I was fearful what impact this might have on the child. Plus I had a young baby - and the two would have been only 12 months and 10 days apart if I had carried to full term. Would not have been easy, for sure.

The last miscarriage I had was after my ex and I were already in the lifestyle. He had a vasectomy, but I was still fertile. Many in the families of course knew of his vasectomy - and I am sure would not have thought too much of me - or my pregnancy. [ The father actually was an old high school buddy of my ex's so it would have been an awkward thing all around]

I did feel rather badly about being so relieved to have lost a child though - and discussed that aspect with my doctor. He told me that although some have miscarriages frequently, and do have physical problems, which is sad - - for the most part, a miscarriage is nature [or God's] way of saying there was something wrong - and the pregnancy could not nor should not have been supported. That made me feel a bit better about my being relieved.

I would have had a difficult time of it, if I had been put in the position of having to seek out and have an abortion. Was glad not to have had to make that decision.

It doesn't seen that your friend has a firm grasp of things though - and has her own agenda for desiring pregnancy - which has nothing to do with the child actually. Her own selfish motivations are what is driving her - and it is best a child was not brought into that situation. More especially so since the paternal issue was so muddled.

I am glad for you too - that bullet got dodged. Also pleased to know you [and your boyfriend] are maintaining some "space" in that relationship. Boy, that situation was literally LOADED with "bad karma"!

Continued happiness is wished for you - hopefully unincumbered by the sort of melodrama that pregnancy had already wrought.

Take care of yourself, let us hear from you with any updates you may wish to share.

Hugs to you and yours!

[b_and_sc]

This a VERY scary thing to happen...and just so everyone knows, NOTHING is 100% effective. Even vasectomy has a failure rate of 1 in 1000 or something

I'm 2 weeks late and getting worried...I feel for you guys

[Lakotarose]

Yeah they are trying again & truthfully I don't hang out with them that often now that my work schedule has been upped to full time & my fiance working F/T as well although he seems to be finding alot more time to go over there to visit her during the mornings & is always talking about her. things are sort of still rough between him & i but he's trying to straighten that out although he sure doesn't like it when Joe & I start talking & playfight the way he & Tia do. Anyhow if anyone has anymore advice please feel free to let me know I appreciate all the advice anyone has to offer.

[LadyCleo]

Originally posted by Lakotarose
although he seems to be finding alot more time to go over there to visit her during the mornings & is always talking about her. things are sort of still rough between him & i but he's trying to straighten that out although he sure doesn't like it when Joe & I start talking & playfight the way he & Tia do.

I would tell him that I am uncomfortable with the relationship and cut them both off. It sounds like he is busy cozying up to her rather than to you.

There are lots of other people in this world to be friends and/or play partners with. It does not have to be this particular couple. Especially with your history.

LC

[Lakotarose]

Originally posted by LadyCleo
I would tell him that I am uncomfortable with the relationship and cut them both off. It sounds like he is busy cozying up to her rather than to you.

There are lots of other people in this world to be friends and/or play partners with. It does not have to be this particular couple. Especially with your history.

LC

Yeah i know all about the swingers clubs & where to look for other couples but that's just not for me, I've talked with Ken & we've split for the time being There is still alot of feelings for me towards him but the way things have been going lately this is for the best all around Tia is once again pregnant, Joe has admitted to her & ken that he's attracted to me more than the sexual sense that hurt her feelings but she's admitted that she sort of feels the same way about Ken. Things just got out of hand & i don't even know how on earth all this even came about considering the fact we've all hung out together for 4 yrs & nothing like this has ever happened before until last summer & then again this summer. I have a F/T job now & have been meeting quite a few interesting gentlemen but i think from this point i'm just gonna take things slow for a while. Thanks again to everyone for all the input & advice like I said i read all of them & take each one into deep consideration. feel free to continue e-mailing me @ Toyota02_4x4@yahoo.com If you like to give more advice or to just keep in touch. I'm not going to being putting anymore posts on this site as I just am not in this lifestyle even tho i've written on here i was only just looking for the advice on how everyone here first came about doing this & now that i've seperated from ken will not be in touch much with tia & joe there really is no need for me to make any more posts here. Thanks again take care all