Pregnant!!!!

[StacyCat]

This would be my second worst fear, second to getting an incurable STD.

Condoms dont work all the time. Even with perfect use, they can have a 5% failure rate, but their actual failure rate is around 12%, for pregnancy.

Everyone should think about this senario before swinging, or before deciding about their personal sexual health. If the couple or female) wasnt taking birth control, then its good that condoms were used. And it should have been discussed before hand, so if something did go wrong then precausions could have been taken.

I wish all four of yall the best of luck. All this worrying will probably be for nothing, and yall will have a great bundle of joy in 8 months :-)

[anetrnlov]

Originally posted by alabamafuntonig
i cant imagine how they got pregnant with a condom on !

am i missing something!

Like everyone else has said condoms aren't as effective as people would like them to be.

Then again either is Birth control. I was on the pill when I got pregnant and had been taking it for about 2 years.

My friend's ex-fiance got pregnant while he was using a condom and she was on the pill. Talk about a freak accident. That child REALLY wanted to be born!

I do agree with everyone else that your best bet is for everyone involved to use some type of birth control.

[fun_pairTX]

The thread has gotten off on a tangent. The question was "What to do now?" not "how did it happen?"

[alabamafuntonig]

what to do what to do..

since you will not know for a while im not sure you can do anything. if it is his i can suggest a monthly payment plan with the state you live in for child support! any other option as far as what i would do would be that!

[anetrnlov]

Personally I think the 4 of you need to sit down and be honest with one another about how you feel about this whole thing.

You need to consider all options and how it is going to affect all your lives.

This is one of those "assume the worst but hope for the best senarios."

Sorry if I am not much help.

I hope everything works out for the best.

[Lakotarose]

Thanks all for the great advice, I have spoken to all 3 of them but not together just kind of going along day to day right now, she goes in for her ultrasound in another month & a half to determine how far along she is & yes I knew she wasn't on her pills her fiance usually knows when she's missed a few but apparently this time he didn't bother checking. My Fiance is in a state of shock becuz everything that was said that night came right back in their faces, I brought up the fact that protection should be used becuz i knew she wasn't on her pills & she brought up the fact that she didn't want anyone to get mad @ anyone if we all were in agreement to this, naturally the men said they were in agreement she agreed but noone bothered asking me if i agreed I quickly downed my drink then glanced over to see Ken with Tia & Joe trying his best to persuade me to encourage him, It was quite the night. When I told my fiance she was pregnant he looked shocked, Tia & I both talked seriously the first time the men tried something & it came back to haunt us. I stated then that if something had occured between all of us that weekend what would've happened if i got knocked up with Joe's baby & her with Ken's? or if we both got knocked up by the same man?! she agreed then that she wouldn't agree to anything if the men should try again but the following weekend she sure jumped on that band wagon awfully fast, she says it was becuz she was drunk. I asked my fiance the night I told him she was Pregnant " I Bet you're glad you used a condom that night huh?" He asked me to repeat myself & when i did he turned away & grunted, I still don't know what to make of that response & when Joe asked Tia if Ken used the condom the whole entire time they were up there she said she doesn't remember if he did or not she was soo drunk she doesn't recall too much other than seeing Joe leave & me following right after, her & ken thought we left to continue in a different room not knowing that joe left the house in his car & i left to the riverbed in my truck & she recalls leaving the room with ken when they finished & then hurting herself by falling down some steps (4 of them) she's fine tho just a badlly sprained ankle that's finally healed. Her & Ken were upstairs an awfully long time that night both Joe & I were surprised. Anyhow I am having everyone here for ken's birthday this month hopefully then I can talk to them all w/o any interuptions, thanks again all....

[sportync]

Well, Rose, y'all are still talking and still friends, so why keep worring about something that has already happened? There's absolutely nothing that you can do, now, to prevent what has occured, so make the most of it and enjoy the friendship you have with these folks. They will probably be needing the kind of support you get from friends in the next few months, and if you are pretty comfortable with each other, Joe and Ken might just keep you real busy during the 3rd trimester!! Just think...two horney guys to take care of you for three months....things could be worse, you know. I certianly don't mean to make light of something as important as this is, but hey, another life is coming into the world. That's a good thing! Sportync

[Vjklander]

I think sportync is on to something here. Along the lines of "making lemonade out of lemons" or something. I think it would be great for a baby to come into the world with 4 loving 'parents'. Which reminds me of a part of a book. As y'all must know by now, we are big fans of Jean Auel's Earth's Children series of books (the first is Clan of the Cave Bear). In one of the books, There is a clan split into two factions, the river people and the mountain people. They help each other out for planting and harvest and major fishing expeditions etc. They live apart for the sping-fall, but the river people live with the mountain people for the winter. The arrangement is set up so that one couple from the mountain people share quarters with one couple of the river people. They also share pleasures amongst themselves and any children are considered children of all four. On maturity, the children decide to be river or mountain people. That is of course a fairly cursory synopsis, but you get the idea.
J

[Lakotarose]

Yep we're still talking although the thought of the men keeping me busy the last 3 months of her pregnancy well...... I don't think that will be happening. Tia has talked to her fiance and told him to quit trying to sleep with me & even though she's talked to him the past week since her finding out she's pregnant he's still hitting on me really hard & that upsets her. My fiance has still been acting strange since that night but went back to his usual work routine until I've told him she's pregnant I asked him " I bet you're glad you used a condom with her that night then huh?" He asked me to repeat myself & when I did he turned away from me & grunted then made the excuse of returning the rented dvd's we just watched that weren't due back for another 2 days & left he didn't even come right back until an hour & a half later thinking I would've been asleep by then. Right now he's asked me to not talk about that night again so i've respected his wish & kept my mouth shut as for Joe I've told him I am still not comfortable with him flirting with me the way has been ever since we've all found out there's a baby on the way but that just doesnt seem to stop him from trying especially when Tia isn't around he'll try to kiss me or get a quick feel of my breasts. I've told Tia & she's had yet another talk with him but I just don't think he is registering the fact that I am not going to be sleeping with him anytime soon after all he's gotten stage fright 2x & couldn't perform so why would I bother trying again? Oh well as for the baby to be my fiance would have no problems paying child support & help out any which way he can after all he loves children depending on how far along she is & if a paternity test is required & the child is my fiance's then he'll do all he can as for me i know not to blame a child for the sin's of his/her father or mother after all a child is the most innocent being out of something that happened that precautions should've been taken more seriously than it was & since she's pregnant he's been hinting around for me to become pregnant but i'm not going to become pregnant just becuz she is. I want to pursue a career in the computer field plus i've done my share of rasing children since i turned 10, helped raise 2 nephews as well as 2 nieces & still look out for 3 of them especially my youngest niece & my 2 nephews. Those 2 boys are like my younger brothers & my youngest niece has needed me since her mother took up booze & coke & an abusive boyfriend over looking out for her own daughter & her father is none better he's into drug dealing & has hepititas c plus one lung of his collapsed so he's not doing to good plus he forgets her b-day quite often so kids for me is like i've already had them even tho I love our son more than anything I just really don't know if i'd have another. I'm 25 & i'm the youngest in my family of 5 but you wouldn't know it. I grew up in seattle washington, moved here to bc when i was 13, got kicked out when i was 16 becuz i refused to eat onion soup( mom was a coke addict then with an abusive b/f herself) moved back to seattle for a year lived on the streets & took care of myself very good, didn't do drugs or slept around. Ken's the 3rd guy i've ever been with. This is all probably more than y'all wanted to know but I thought i'd share a bit of my life story with you. Thank you all for the advice, as for that movie woke up in reno or whatever that's called..i'm definetly renting that for ken's b-day that way all 3 of us can watch it Thanks again, I really appreciate all the advice you all have to give.

[Lakotarose]

Hey all, thought I'd keep you all updated. Since Tia told Joe she was pregnant he seemed fine with it but now he's acting really grumpy towards her & giving her the silent treatment for the past 2 days but acting civil toards me & ken. Joe & ken even went out for a ride to the river to talk about things & Joe told ken that he's been having thoughts lately about this baby not being his but maybe Ken's, ken told him that was his first thought when I told him she is pregnant but he doesn't think that this could be possible. Anyhow Joe has been awfully rude to Tia by telling her she can go get a job after she has this child & he'll take a year off to raise it so she knows what he has to put up with trying to take care of a family of 4 as it is. He's made her cry alot over the past 2 days that it's begining to take it's toll on her but she's too scared to talk to him about his moods & she's getting pretty upset seeing him openly flirt with me and grabbing at me in front of her while he's been basically ignoring her for 2 days going on 3. Ken & I have come to the conclusion that we're going to send them on a date just the 2 of them & watch their daughter for them since her son is at his dad's for the next 3 weeks, they really need to sit down & talk instead of Joe talking to ken or me he needs to talk to her & her always talking to me she needs to talk to him. Her ultra sound has been confirmed for the middle of september & she's keeping her fingers crossed that she's concieved before the 15 th of last month or after the 15th. Anyhow she herself told me that she wouldn't mind if Joe should again try with me when she's further along but I just don't know how i'd feel, after all those 2 times we tried it all out i still didn't feel comfortable. How many times does it take to feel comfortable swinging? Looking forward to all advice given will be greatly appreciated.

[alabamafuntonig]

you know ! maybe you should chalk this one up as a learning thing! I dont think i would swing with them in the near future or again after this little mishap!

[Lakotarose]

Originally posted by alabamafuntonig
you know ! maybe you should chalk this one up as a learning thing! I dont think i would swing with them in the near future or again after this little mishap!

Well that's what i figured the first time around after this all happened, she says she wasn't planning on getting pregnant but then why didn't she take her pills when she knew the first time the guys were trying to swap partners. Oh well it's happened & there's no going back that's for sure. The men don't know she messed up by not taking her pills & i don't want to be the one to tell them either although Joe has guessed & said he blames her getting pregnant cause obviously she missed taking her pills a few times not knowing that she wasn't taking them for over a month. Right now they are aguing again & she's coming over here, all this stress on her cannot be good for this baby, they're both not thinking about the baby's health. I am going to tell her that if this keeps up she could end up losing this baby if they don't straighten things out & get rid of the stress, am I right on this?

[J & K]

My fiance has still been acting strange since that night but went back to his usual work routine until I've told him she's pregnant I asked him " I bet you're glad you used a condom with her that night then huh?" He asked me to repeat myself & when I did he turned away from me & grunted then made the excuse of returning the rented dvd's we just watched that weren't due back for another 2 days & left he didn't even come right back until an hour & a half later thinking I would've been asleep by then. Right now he's asked me to not talk about that night again

Why does this sound so fishy? Seems like nobody remebers that night being drunk, but we think maybe one person does. We been reading everything and too many weird things are going on with 3 people. It might be just us thinking this way and we might be wrong, but we think two folks had sex without the right stuff on and nobody wants to fess up to it. Forgive us if we are wrong, but nobody has brought that idea up yet.

[Lakotarose]

Why does this sound so fishy? Seems like nobody remebers that night being drunk, but we think maybe one person does. We been reading everything and too many weird things are going on with 3 people. It might be just us thinking this way and we might be wrong, but we think two folks had sex without the right stuff on and nobody wants to fess up to it. Forgive us if we are wrong, but nobody has brought that idea up yet. [/B][/QUOTE]


Well My fiance did put on that condom I saw him do that, for one she is the only one who wasn't really protected not taking her pills for over month & as for the condom well noone can tell if something was wrong with it because it went down the drain. We'll never really know for sure until this child is born if she happened to have concieved around the 15th of last month. Tia, Ken & I are pretty much sure that this child is Joe's it is only Joe so far that isn't convinced. I wasn't so sure myself in the begining but now i am almost 100% sure the child will be Joe's.

[ohio_cpl_4_fun]

Sounds to me like alabama needs to read up on different birth control methods. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but I think most of us know that "pulling out" won't keep you from getting pregnant.