Wife is pregnant and wants to wait to start swinging until after the baby is born

[hub1331]

My wife Angie and I have engauged in a "three way" several times, m/m/f.Now, we`ve decided to find a couple that we like or go to a club and check that out(never been to one)problem is she don`t want to play right now due to being pregnant.She would like to wait until the baby is 3-4 months old before we leave him/her at an all night babysitter.thats August next year!!Real problem:I want to get to know some people between now and then so that when shes ready to play I don`t have to look far. Also I want to check out a club to see if it would be an option but I don`t want to appear as a single man, can I go as a guest of a couple that are members,and are there any takers!!

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by hub1331

My wife Angie and I have engauged in a "three way" several times, m/m/f.Now, we`ve decided to find a couple that we like or go to a club and check that out(never been to one)problem is she don`t want to play right now due to being pregnant.She would like to wait until the baby is 3-4 months old before we leave him/her at an all night babysitter.thats August next year!!Real problem:I want to get to know some people between now and then so that when shes ready to play I don`t have to look far. Also I want to check out a club to see if it would be an option but I don`t want to appear as a single man, can I go as a guest of a couple that are members,and are there any takers!!

Or you could have your baby, take care of them, and then go to the clubs when shes ready to go.

Whats your rush?

[hub1331]

I think I could make some pretty good friends between now and then!

[WesternSwing]

Personally, and this is just us and me speaking here... We would not play during pregnancy. For us it is has been a time of great intamcy between us that we would not want to share with anyone else. So I see your wife's point. My advice would be to cool your heels and respect her wishes to not play for awhile. Even if she says it's okay for you to meet others she may just be saying this to appease her. If it's her choice not to play, you should also, voluntarily, do the same.

Again, this is my opinion and every couple is different, so take it for what it's worth.

Mr. WS

[HappyPeople]

If your wife isn't into it due to her pregnancy, it might be a good idea to cool your heels on it for a while. She might feel left out if you are focused on something she'd like to do but cannot at the moment. Pregnancy doesn't last forever, why not enjoy the time, focusing your thoughts on your pregnant wife and baby, then once all is settled, go have fun together? There is plenty of time to swing, but pregnancy is short. If your thoughts are all caught up in swinging, you might miss out on the real magic that you have going on at home and end up regretting it later.

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by hub1331

I think I could make some pretty good friends between now and then!

"I" could make some pretty good friends between now and then?? Sounds kind one sided to me. If you two are in the lifestyle as a couple you should stay that way. Friends and playmates can come and go and there are always plenty to be found but your spouse is forever and should always come first. A general rule is always go at the pace of the slower partner.

Swinging is an outside activity for us and falls into social events not much different then going to the movies, a ball game with friends, vacations or a night out on the town. Family and our life as a couple ALWAYS comes first. The lifestyle can be put on hold for many reasons. Kids graduate, illness or surgery, sometimes work or schedules and being pregnant are all things that can and should make you have to step back and step out of the lifestyle for a while.

You need to focus on this special time with your wife. It is a brief moment in the scheme of your life and will be gone in the wink of an eye. Don't miss it!!!!

Mrs Spoomonkey

[leftcoastcouple]

At the risk of beating a dead horse, this above all others is a time that should be about "we." If you're there for her now, she'll be there for you later. Hang in there!

[JustAskJulie]

You sound pretty selfish here. First, your wife is pregnant, which is a time when she needs you most (not just you physically being), your emotional reassurrance that you love her and that she is beautiful and important to you. None of what you posted makes it sound like you give a damn about your wife. All that matters to you is getting out there and getting it on. I feel sorry for your wife. If you keep this up she'll never want to go play with you again, she'll be happy to stay home forever with the baby - at least she will know it loves her.

[jennandjamesinm]

Originally Posted by hub1331

My wife Angie and I have engauged in a "three way" several times, m/m/f.Now, we`ve decided to find a couple that we like or go to a club and check that out(never been to one)problem is she don`t want to play right now due to being pregnant.She would like to wait until the baby is 3-4 months old before we leave him/her at an all night babysitter.thats August next year!!Real problem:I want to get to know some people between now and then so that when shes ready to play I don`t have to look far. Also I want to check out a club to see if it would be an option but I don`t want to appear as a single man, can I go as a guest of a couple that are members,and are there any takers!!

Ok - I wasn't going to go here but I can't resist!!! I am also newly pregnant, and I can see your wife's side of things. First - playing while pregnant opens your wife to getting STI's, and therefore can transmit those to your unborn child. STI's can cause irreparable damage to your child. Second, you are being selfish!! This is a time for you and her to connect and celebrate the creating of a new life together. Third - When your child is 3 or 4 months old, she may not be ready to leave that child anywhere overnight. You might think about taking her out to dinner by yourselves for a couple of hours at that time, and even at that, she is going to want to call the sitter every 10 minutes to check on the baby. Take it from someone who has been there.

I'm going to tell you very simply - This isn't about you, its about her. Being pregnant is a life altering experience for a woman - there are things that are happening to her body that she has no control of and the hormones are raging. Don't pressure her into anything, she needs your love and support more than anything right now. If the urge to go out and screw is that desperate, then go masturbate. You might find that if you support her, that she may want to swing with you in the future. But pressuring her is the one sure fire way to get her to never want to swing again.

In the grand scheme of things, a pregnancy is only 9 months long and your child is only an infant once. Enjoy this time with her and your baby to be, you will only get to do it one time. Swinging is always going to be there.

Jenn

[BiloxiCouple]

I have to agree with most of the comments here. Take care of the family first and always.

On a small side note. I have a friend that went to the off premise club and visited. She was pregnant and her husband was there also.

Billy
Billy&Elaine

[jennandjamesinm]

I think that visiting a club while pregnant together is cool, as long as the OP's wife is game for it. That is the one thing I think I am going to miss the most during this time - the social aspect of it. The sex, I can take that or leave it, but I think that we will visiting the club just to see our friends, but no play.

Jenn

[Kim N Jason]

First of all CONGRATULATIONS!!

We agree with all the previous posts, is this your first child? If so then you have alot to learn about pregnacy, as time goes on you'll want to explore your wife alot deeper, both on the mental and physical side, it's very interesting and you will learn alot about her, your relationship, and yourself.

Just too add to what has already been said, this is also a time for YOU!! you're also going to go through some changes and you're going to end up with alot more emotions becoming a dad than you think.

From talking with others there seems to be a general theme among couples that there are just some things they'd like to keep "just for them." Please make this one of those things.

Again, this is all assuming that this is your first child.

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by leftcoastcouple

At the risk of beating a dead horse, this above all others is a time that should be about "we." If you're there for her now, she'll be there for you later. Hang in there!

Dito

Seriously, don't even think of bringing up swinging with your wife until the baby is at least six months old. If I were you, I'd wait until SHE brought it up and just keep my mouth shut.

[JDApopka]

I agree with all that has been said, when we started we had 2 kids ages 6&8 when she got pregnant with our 3rd we quit playing for close to 10 years so we could be involved with thier lives. so chill out and wait for her to be ready to start again its worth it trust me