A Nightmare Scenerio - Getting Pregant While swinging & the choices we'd have to make

[graygo98]

An aptly named thread...

At another time, we would probably ('cause who really knows 'til they look the elephant in the eye) feel the same way as Intuition. It would be our child, raised in our family regardless of who contributed what bits of protoplasm way back when.

At our age and stage, though, I think that we would go through the same process as Mrs. Spoo did, and almost certainly come to the same conclusion.

[birdieone]

Life does throw curve-balls at us at times. How we handle them depends on our own character. Remember the number one rule in this lifestyle, "Communication". That should apply to all facits of our lives. It is a stickey situation if you ever find yourself in it but clear unbiased and unselfish communication is the key between all parties involved. Especially if abortion is not in the picture.

You have to step back, let the chatter quiet down and put yourself in the childs shoes, 1, 5, 15 and even 20 years from now. Communicate with your partner and the other couple involved and then decide on a course of action that is not just best for all involved right now, but for everyone involved in the future. We do not beleive in abortion but we also beleive everyone has the right to choose. And that is just our own .02 worth.

Last but not least, here is to the Packers in 05/06

[funtoplay]

Wow....and I thought I was the only one who thought this way

To me....abortion would never be an option. Neither would adoption. One of my best friends is adopted, and I witnessed her pain, first hand as she tried to work through all the issues that entails.

Before we started swinging, my hubby and I discussed what could possibly happen as a result. Pregnancy being one topic. It would cause quite a stir in our community....due to the fact that he got the "snip" after our third child was born...so people would pretty much know it wasn't his. Yes I know there have been cases where this has happened....after a vasectomy a couple has a child....but those are extremely rare. This is why shortly after we became active in the Lifestyle...I had an IUD inserted. (long story....other contraceptives didn't work....or disliked the side effects)

However, I am aware that no contraceptive is 100% effective.....so there is always a possibility. If it were to happen....I believe, given all the options, we would choose to keep the baby. As to telling the other couple/male involved....that would depend on who it was. I would hate the idea of being so...i don't know if "dishonest" is the right word, but it's as close as i can come.... I would prefer to think that any couple/male we choose to play with would be understanding of the "predicament" we found ourselves in...and support us. So far....anyone we have happened to play with have become very close friends...and I know they would have no problems with whatever we would decide.

[SussexCouple]

Originally Posted by Doug19482000

I heard on CNN that the FDA was considering making the morning after pill an over the counter drug. Any thoughts on that. Some of these posts make me think that maybe I should consider being clipped myself,even though my wife is safe. One of my childern's nickname is Broken Rubber, for a good reason.

It already is here in the UK - we think its a measure to try and reduce abortion here.

[EvilMJ]

This is a good subject Mrs. SPoo and one we have discussed with the couple we play with. I am still able to have kids, and so is the other hubby, while my hubby and the other wife are 'fixed'. We have one child (and due to his being ill as a baby, have chosen to just have one), we do not want another child, and even worse I have meet all the kids of the other husband (from current and previous marriages) and they all look like HIM!!

THere woudl be no way to hide the paternity of this child, espcially since we are such good friends. Nothing is 100% safe and there is always a chance of pregnancy.

I support everyone's right to choose, but abortion would not be an option for me. Especially not after having a child...they should not have to suffer for my mistake. I could not have an adoption because after carrying that baby for nine months my heart would break to let it go.


I guess I have no solution to this one....and will probably wake up some night in a cold sweat thinking about it.

[DBL D]

Originally Posted by Mrs Spoomonkey

. . . but I did have to sign a paper saying I wouldn't sue if I still got pregant Mrs. Spoomonkey

I didn't have to bring a "paper" home for Fem D to sign after I got snipped. Your Doc made you do this? Certainly not Mr. Spoo! Sounds like a cruel joke.

BTW, I think since it was the other man's sperm who got you preggers, then that side should be responsible. He shoulda pulled out!

Male D

[midnight hour]

We would most likely keep the baby. We would either say well we had his V undone...or we would say we were doing it for a friend who backed out...no matter what anyone would say would matter much to us. Our backyard, our mess...I support abortion 100% for anyone, I could not do it I do not think, even at the age I am now. Two of our children have major issues anyway so we will never be a empty nest. If I did not abort then I could not now. If one was faced with the issue and wanted to keep the child a lot of smoke screens could be used, if you wanted too. I would simply not say anything. We do try to play with men who are fixed, and I am on the pill also. I have been thinking lately of being clipped but I have so much scar tissue now I do not even know if it would be a option for me. It is a real fear we think about sometimes. As for what Mr. Midnight thinks, he thinks it would be my choice. He would flow with what ever I went with. I would most likely not tell the other man unless I felt comfortable with the fact he would be accepting.

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by DBL D

I didn't have to bring a "paper" home for Fem D to sign after I got snipped. Your Doc made you do this? Certainly not Mr. Spoo! Sounds like a cruel joke.

BTW, I think since it was the other man's sperm who got you preggers, then that side should be responsible. He shoulda pulled out!

Male D

Hmmm, to clarify . . .

First marriage, I (Mrs Spoo) got my tubes tied and had to sign a paper that I wouldn't go after the doctor if I got pregnant after he did the surgery. This is a standard waiver that you sign on all sterilization proceedures. You may not have realized you signed it but you probably did. I just happen to be one of those "anal retentive" people who read through everything before signing. I remember it because I thought it was funny at the time.

No one is pregnant now . . . I was just pondering the what if's and possible choices if you found out you were pregnant from a swinging situation (i.e. condomn breaking).

Mrs Spoomonkey

[DBL D]

Dang it, Mrs. Spoo,

You're probably right, but it hurts my eyes too much to read all that small print sometimes; I need people like you in my life to keep me informed, even if it's post mortem.

We, like you, can only hope that we are not a part of some "Miracle of Medicine". Not lookin' to beat the odds here.

Male D

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by DBL D

Dang it, Mrs. Spoo,

You're probably right, but it hurts my eyes too much to read all that small print sometimes; I need people like you in my life to keep me informed, even if it's post mortem. Male D

No problem DBL D, you can just return the favor when I need some post mortem help

Mrs Spoomonkey

[Pepper & Drew]

It's true, there is no right answer and not one that would have a satisfying outcome. At first thought, for both me and Drew, would be abortion. However, when I thought about it further, I'm not sure I could actually go through it, knowing that we have a stable home, are married an could love and support a child. We don't want children right now, and may never want children, but when it comes down to it, I think if it happened, I'd take it to mean that perhaps we weren't meant to be childless.

But, then again, I don't think I would be OK with having this child and not telling him/her the truth about their true parentage. What if a medical situation occurs and the bloodtypes don't match ours? Or, they have a hereditary disease, but neither of us have it. Try explaining those! And, adoption is completely out of the question for us. We've been married for nearly 6 years and don't have any children now......needless to say the future grandparents are chomping at the bit for grandkids. To give up a child would be ABSOLUTELY impossible to explain.

So, I think in the end, we'd either chose to keep it and raise it as ours and never tell anyone or make the very difficult decision to abort. Either would be incredibly difficult and would definitely test the bonds of our relationship. Reason #107 why I'm on the pill and why we use condoms.......

[MrSnozzberryBlu]

Ooooooooohhhhhhhh, someone please stop my head from spinning!

Wow! This is the topic of topics. There is probably a psychologist out there just waiting for all of us to lay on his couch right now so he can study the topic for posterity.

To be honest, I don't know what Mrs Snozzberry and I would do. First of all I know that we would have to sit down and discuss it for a very very long time. Each option is bad no matter how we look at it. In the end I don't see how we could abort the baby. I don't think either of us could bear the guilt.

The only good solution to the problem is to prevent the issue from becoming a problem. I saw the vet, but my wife is still as fertile as the Nile. We just try to make sure that all the bases are covered...with rubbers, contraception, and if necessary an old fashioned chastity belt.

[SnozzberryBlu]

Hey waaaaiiiitttt a minute you!!!!! Do you know what the rust alone could do to my ass crack? Oh wait, that's ANOTHER thread! LOL

He makes it sound so difficult.. we are just covering a few bases until next week, when I get "the shot" ... gee, can't wait. Ugh!!!!

Seriously though, yeah, probably keep it and hope for a girl (we have two boys).. shoot for the longest time we wanted to adopt another, and didn't. In my heart it would be our baby... genes only go so far. Still.. shoot our kids are almost grown and we have PLANS lol!!!! I guess I am weird here, but I am more disturbed by having to start over really... denial on "who's your daddy" is a lot easier to conjure up than "now when are these people getting outta my house????"

<<< going to go have her head examined somewhere...

[funtoplay]

Was just thinking about this the other day. I remembered hearing somewhere that regardless of who "plants the seed", if a couple is married, any children that come from that marriage are legally considered to be the husbands. Would that have any bearing on anyone's decision?

[invisibletouch]

We discussed this even though it's highly unlikely-hubby is surgically safe for the last 26 yrs and I went through menopause almost 3 yrs ago. We also use condoms for STDs but they also give some protection from unplanned pregnancies.

But on the outside chance that I became pregnant-my family history is weird to begin with regarding our reproductive system , we would raise it.

Now, we both know that this child couldn't be passed off as our own-I only play with black men and hubby is a very light skinned Irishman! But for us, who only had one child by choice, we feel it would be our responsibility to l0ve and raise this child!
Questions, odd looks and even loss of family ties wouldn't change the fact-we made a choice to play so we will face the outcome with L0ve and a full commitment to do the right thing by this child.

Oh and this isnt' about not believing in abortion; I had an unplanned pregnancy in 1973 and chose an abortion.