Getting pregnant

[conniekutie]

Nope, THIS and a few other things going on was the reason I left the swinging scene for a while. I blamed and STILL do for the most part, the kids parents...or rather the mother. She was the one who told all three of the kids that they could stay that night and forbid them to come out of the room. I mean yes, the kid looked 14. The 20 year old was responsible as well. But JEEZ...There was so much that was just WRONG with that whole scene. Thats why I'm leary of having kids and the swinging scene at all. I think its ok to be a swinger and have a family...I just don't think its a good idea to entertain with the kids in the house.
Just my opinion.
That and $1.75 will buy you a great cup of coffee.

[DBL D]

From connikutie:

"That and $1.75 will buy you a great cup of coffee."

Not in Caleefornia!

Male D

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by conniekutie

I blamed and STILL do for the most part, the kids parents...or rather the mother. She was the one who told all three of the kids that they could stay that night and forbid them to come out of the room. I mean yes, the kid looked 14. The 20 year old was responsible as well.

Anyone at the party who was aware that a CHILD was involved in swinging activities should be held responsible.

That is child abuse, in my opinion.

[northindycpl]

Originally Posted by Vespertine

Anyone at the party who was aware that a CHILD was involved in swinging activities should be held responsible.

That is child abuse, in my opinion.

dito!

That is an outrageous tale. I remember being 20 when my brother was 14... and he looked every bit of 14! There is no way one could mistake a 14 year old for anything more than what they are.

The 20 year old woman should be thrown in with Scott Peterson for that matter. And the parents.. well how shameful.

It is stories like that that give swingers a bad name.

[Dave_kat]

Well, since we're going with the wildest stories on here, got one for you that Dave has been involved with for the last 9 months (just because he was this soldier's supervisor)

Dave has a soldier who is undergoing a court-martial for charges of adultery, child abuse, and statutory rape.

Apparently this soldier had allowed his cousin to move in with him and his wife (Not uncommon). Well, in March of this year, CID calls this soldier out of the field because his cousin came in complaining about being raped by the soldier. She also makes allegations about the younger children. The soldier responds that he just joined in with his wife and the cousin in bed. Now there is another soldier in another section who chimes in about this soldier messing with his girlfriend, and she's pregnant. (Both the girlfriend and the cousin are underage)

Swinging gone bad? Something is messed up here. The whole case is a whole lot nastier, but he's been called 2 times so far to testify, and might even get called to testify from Iraq.

[conniekutie]

Its why I'm here first BEFORE I reengage so to speak. There were too many people who got hurt in the senerio I told. No one saw the kid at the party except the 20 year old. I wasn't even at the party. When I met the woman at another gathering, she said she was pregnant. At that time, the boy's mother was the only one who knew he was there. She was the one who told me that. That paticular party she threw while her husband was out of town on business. That was the OTHER big reason I stopped swinging. This lady liked to have other playmates without her husband's approval, and it was not ok for him to do the same. I'm big on rules and not breaking them.

As for the soldier...my husband is active duty...the military takes adultry (and thats the way they will see it) VERY seriously, not to mention the underage thing.

And we have gotten so far off the original topic. I'm gonna stop now.

[soflafun]

Holy shit, our worst nightmare!!

[jcbicouple]

Originally Posted by Dave_kat

(Both the girlfriend and the cousin are underage)

Swinging gone bad? Something is messed up here.

That's not Swinging: It's child molesting!
Just the statement "Swinging gone bad" in conjunction with having sex with kids is enough to stand my hair up and flare my temper!
As for the 20 year old and sex with the 14 year old: Same thing. That's not Swinging it's child molesting in conjunction with a cheating wife! Cheaters aren't swingers either!

[catherine1962]

Hello everyone......This is an update......Well I am 3 months pregant......we have talked it over with the other couple and they are of course upset.....it seems child support is the issue and nothing else.......the wife doesn't believe her husband is the father and thinks that we are doing this to extort money from them. My husband had his sperm count checked and it is at zero...we told this couple that when the baby is born we will be happy to get a DNA test to prove it.....this made the wife even mader....I don't know what to do....
THIS IS IMPORTANT....WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH ANOTHER COUPLE MAKE SURE YOU USE TWO DIFFERENT TYPLES OF BIRTH CONTROL.....I USED ONLY A CONDOM AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED.......we are in a legal mess now...this has killed our sex life.......there is little closeness between us since I am carryng another man's child.......

[JustAskJulie]

Are you expecting child support from this other couple, should the male turn out to be the biological father? That seems a bit extreme to me, you and your husband made this choice together and how you choose to handle it is up to you (as far as whether or not you have the baby). I have a hard time with the idea that you would expect them to support the child rather than just treating it as if it were your own (with your husband) and raising it as such. Think how you would feel if the tables were turned.

[catherine1962]

Of corurse I would expect child support....he is the father....not my husband......In this state (South Dakota) the father of a child is supposed to give 20% of their income to the mother for child support......my husband isn't the father/..why shoult he have to pay?

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by catherine1962

Of corurse I would expect child support....he is the father....not my husband......In this state (South Dakota) the father of a child is supposed to give 20% of their income to the mother for child support......my husband isn't the father/..why shoult he have to pay?

This opens a whole lot of questions for the swinging community as a whole. This I suppose is a risk eveyone takes when swinging along with getting an STD's.

I have to agree with Julie on this one. You and your husband decided to keep this baby to raise as your own (do you have other children?) even though you knew it was from a swinging situation. I'm not sure why after making that decision you two would be having problems, if he or you don't want another man's child to raise why are you keeping it? Now your asking this man for child support when he had no say in the decision to keep the baby. Since you want him to pay for child support and he's the father then why didn't you make the decision to keep the baby with him instead of your husband?

Mrs Spoomonkey

[Dr Jekyll]

If she was single and fell pregnant with him it would still have been her choice to keep the baby. But in that scenario it is commonly accepted for the father to pay child support.

Yes, she has a husband, but (and this is sad to consider) if they get divorced he will have legal footing to deny her child support by proving that he is not the father. It will be much more difficult to go through the court and force the biological father to pay child support then.

That said, it's not a nice scenario to be put in. I'd not be inpressed if you asked me for child support...

[djjwp]

Disappointment is all I feel. After being raised by my Dad and not my father, I can only say that money has entered the picture and killed all love, respect, and common sense. It appears that everyone is more worried about the lawyers and legal system than that little child coming into this world. How sad that the priorities have been so badly ordered in importance now.

[Spoomonkey]

I have to agree with everyone else above.

I really do feel for you and your husband. This would be a terrible experience to go through! But, the two of you made the decision to keep the kid - the other husband wasn't given much of a choice in the matter.

Dr Jekyll makes a good point: if you are having marital problems, then the child may need support. I understand your fear. But if you and your husband "tough it out" and stay together, then why involve the other man at all? Will your husband not provide any support? Will none of his paycheck go towards bills, groceries, etc.?

If so, then why do you need that extra 20%? Why would you insist on involving this other man - potentially ruining his marriage? Has he asked for visitation? Does he get the kid for six weeks in the summer and every other Christmas? And how - in the long run - are you going to explain this situation to this child?

If you are going to keep the child, kudos to you! But give the kid a stable home - not one that is filled with tension, legal battles and the eternal question of "who's your daddy?" I applaude you for accepting the responsibility of what you did, but not if your "bravery" destroys a lot of other people in the process.

To be honest, at three months along, I'd have to encourage you to reconsider your decision to keep the kid. Is it worth the damage you are doing to your marriage? Is it worth the damage that you are doing to the other marriage? Is it worth the damage that you are going to do to this kid?

I have a personal problem with abortion (not a moral one, but a very emotional one) but I think this is one of those cases where maybe keeping the kid is the wrong choice.

Spoomonkey