Getting pregnant

[SexhoundDog]

Catherine,
As has been mentioned, the key thing here is that you haven't done anything wrong or immoral, if you will. You and hubby swing together, so it's not like you had an affair behind his back. You both knew the possible risks of swinging with others, so as everyone else has said, you've got to tell him.

It's entirely possible his vasectomy was botched also. If you need to know, you can probably get some kind of DNA test that isn't harmful to the fetus. Then I think it's up to you and hubby to decide what you want to do as regards having the baby or not. That's an issue where your personal beliefs have to come into play.

As the post before me said, everyone's with you. I hope your husband is as understanding, he should be.

[JKBertha]

One of my husbands friends had a vascectomy and his wife still got pregnant...and it was absolutely without a doubt his baby. It can happen, cause they are not 100% effective....and neither are condoms, or any other sort of birth control. You do need to talk to your husband.

On a more personal note, in response to the person who said "don't have it"....I know everyone has thier own thoughts on this. So, I will add my 2 cents cause, I guess I just feel I have to. I got pregnant when I was in college, 19 yrs. old, and it was done to me (no explanation needed there)......and with the ncouragement of everyone close to me, I did terminate the pregnancy.

That was over 10 years ago, and I still ache every day with that decision. I look at children who would have been the age of mine, and it makes me so sad. I do forgive myself, and I know I can't take it back. And frankly, it didn't really bother me as much until I did marry and had children of my own....and the love I felt for them, and the people that they were and are....well I took the possibility of life away from someone else.

That's just my story, and I don't expect people to agree that I should hurt over this, or that I should share it with you in your situation. However, thankfully you have a spouse, and thankfully you love him....you do need tot alk to him and work this out as a couple. Your decision to swing was a couples choice, anything from here should also be.

Take Care....things will work out (big hug)

[sensuality]

Slow down and breathe....Here's what you absolutely need to do right now...get a calendar...depending on how long your cycles are....you can adjust this,but for now...we'll go with a 28 day cycle.No matter how long your cycles are though...you ovulate 14 days before your next period is due.So, if you have a 28 day cycle...start from the day you started your last period and count 14 days...that would've been the day you ovulated....now count 3-4 days prior and 1-2 days after that date....who did you sleep with during that period of time???? This is the only time you could've conceived.Now, even if your hunny has had a vasectomy...that is NO gaurantee you can't get pregnant...it does happen.... If you have a 30 day cycle for instance...count 30 days until your next period was due and backtrack 14 days to get the day you would've ovulated and adjust accordingly.Don't jump to anymore conclusions.You can also go get a sonogram done and the doctor would be able to pinpoint when conception actually took place and you can safely assume that whoever you slept with 3-4 days prior could possibly be the father.After ovulation, our eggs are only viable for 24-48 hours and then they die if not fertilized.And, anywhere from 3-4 days prior to ovulation...sperm can live inside of our bodies and be waiting right there when the egg pops through...Good Luck,I hope this helps and take care!!

[couplefromma]

You must talk to him about it. You have been open enough to talk about your sexuality this is something you need to talk about and discuss and come to some conclusion together.

Also, go to a real doctor and have the test done. Make sure.

But my advice is to talk to him and discuss the matter and face this together.

[J & K]

A vas?

Well tell him and then have him go to the doc for a sperm count test.

[Suncouple]

Discuss it with your husband, then your doctor.
Maybe it's time for a D&C and get your tubes tied while the car is in the shop.

[sensuality]

I'm telling you before you even consider an abortion or anything...check your cycle.And, even if your hunny has had a vas. there's NO GUARANTEES it worked...God Bless!

[Vespertine]

Hey Catherine...

I hope everything's going Okay for you as it's been a few days since you've logged onto the board.

Do let us know how everything's working out.

[JustAskJulie]

It really is up to you and your husband. You need to tell your husband first and foremost and then the two of you can take it from there deciding what is best for the two of you.

[catherine1962]

We had my husband checked and he is NOT fertil......No sperm what so ever..The person I was having sex with was using a condom but I guess it didn't work.....I decided to keep the baby......

[catherine1962]

And No More Swinging For Us.....

[Aphrodite]

I'm here a little late, but my God...are you okay? And, good for you on deciding to keep the baby.I think given the circumstances, it's probably a wise decision to stop swinging.I sincerely, truly wish you the best.Take Care!

[jim-n-nicole]

I second Aphrodite in wishing you the very best. Thank you for sharing your story.

Let me say that I have thought about this thread a lot and it has had a very big impact on Nikki and me. I shoot blanks so we had relied on condoms for her in this lifestyle...up until this thread started. Since then, we have been under a temporary oral-only rule until Nikki started birth control pills - which she has now done.

We are now back to our normally scheduled fun.

Is everyone aware of the new Seasonale birth control pills, where you only have a period every third month??? Nikki is ecstatic!

Jim.

[Ofrdcple]

Thanks for updating. For some reason everytime I'm on I check to see if you've written. I really do feel for you. Since I don't know you I wouldn't even try to give you advice. But I will tell you that I do sincerely hope that everything works out. Good luck to you and your husband. I hope the two of you stay strong.

Sincerely, Mike

[djjwp]

When I was 3, my father divorced my mother and died when I was 12. At 12, she met my DAD! He was a real man and I can tell your husband is too. I think it is GREAT you are keeping the baby and trust me, you husband will be Dad! I can not say enough good about your husband at this point being the son of a man who had never had children of his own.

As for the lifestyle, when you have your child and if you are not looking for more children, get fixed and then you two could continue to enjoy the lifestyle and the fun you have together.

One more note, when I got snipped, I was told that there was a 3% chance even if “sterile” that I could still make my wife PG. There is always that small chance one still gets through even if it does not show on the microscope during a test. If it was me though, I would never get a DNA test and would just assume the child to be mine. DNA makes no difference with someone you love. I would just tell my friends and family that we hade a 3% baby and ask for diapers at the shower. (Did I mention I have 5?)