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  1. #1
    Swingers Board Addict fun4Ds's Avatar
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    Default Did we cheat ?

    We met a couple by chance one night and they came over. It didn't take long for the play to start as we all were quite excited by the situation and circumstances. The problem is, we didn't know they were half of a poly couple That Night. Now that the other couple knows, and they know we know they know, its kind of an awkward situation ? They want to hook up with us too. They were each others first, as couples, joining in a poly relationship and stayed committed for 3 years, until we came along... Now, we aren't sure if we would be like, revenge fucks, or a polly's folly. It's fair to say we just ended up with few details and offers we couldn't refuse. The sex was great for both Mrsfun and I, and as we hear, the first couple enjoyed the same feelings of enjoyment. They actually gave the other couple a recommend to do the same and hook up with us.

    Mrsfun and I are talking and have some big "We don't know" questions at this point.

    We could use some advice from our friends here on the board. Any ideas ?

    We don't feel we've broken up a couple. Is there something to be said that when all are found guilty, there's innocence at its best ?

    Are "We" what maybe they all needed, and wanted, just as a swinging relationship such as ourselves, need and enjoy once in a while ?

    Mr&Mrsfun

  2. #2
    Swingers Board Addict bbarnsworth's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did we cheat ?

    Plenty of open ended questions that can not be answered without actually asking both of the other couples. A caring, non-judgmental open conversation is the most likely way forward for the best possible outcome.

  3. #3
    Swingers Board Addict km34's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did we cheat ?

    Quote Originally Posted by fun4Ds View Post
    They want to hook up with us too. They were each others first, as couples, joining in a poly relationship and stayed committed for 3 years, until we came along... Now, we aren't sure if we would be like, revenge fucks, or a polly's folly.
    Ok, so you know they know. Do they seem upset? Does the couple you played with act like its weird? If you're worried about it being a revenge fuck, I wouldn't do it... That's just inviting drama. However, if it seems like they were told by their partners that it was fun and that you two are kind, respectful people that are fun to mess around with, why not?

    Quote Originally Posted by fun4Ds View Post
    It's fair to say we just ended up with few details and offers we couldn't refuse. The sex was great for both Mrsfun and I, and as we hear, the first couple enjoyed the same feelings of enjoyment. They actually gave the other couple a recommend to do the same and hook up with us.
    This sounds like the poly people aren't upset. The two you played with probably wouldn't have done anything if it wasn't allowed in the relationship. Talk to them. Find out for sure before making a decision.

    Quote Originally Posted by fun4Ds View Post
    Mrsfun and I are talking and have some big "We don't know" questions at this point.
    I have my own personal rule that I don't play with people unless I am comfortable assuming there are no underlying issues. If I get even a vague sense that something is off in the relationship, I'm out. You may want to consider that. Does it feel weird or does it just seem like there was information YOU didn't know even if the people in the quad were all open to swinging.


    Quote Originally Posted by fun4Ds View Post
    We don't feel we've broken up a couple. Is there something to be said that when all are found guilty, there's innocence at its best ?
    Are you positive it wasn't discussed BEFORE the two you played with did anything? I wouldn't feel guilty anyway... You couldn't have prevented your ignorance of the situation. If anyone is guilty, it would be the two you played with who are committed to others that weren't present. And that is assuming that swinging was a boundary in the relationship. A lot of poly people also swing and that is something they work out with their partners, not necessarily their playmates.

    Just talk to EVERYONE. All four of the poly people, your spouse, examine your own feelings. Cover all the bases before you decide what you want to do.

  4. #4
    Swap Meet Enthusiast Dont.Stop's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did we cheat ?

    Poly and swinging are not mutually exclusive endeavours. Heck, maybe they're trying to bring you into the fold. If they made a recommendation, I doubt any lines were crossed.

    Who knows, in 3 months you may be posting about your new poly life.
    You say "oral fixation" like it's a bad thing!

  5. #5
    Just a hick Okie Alura's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did we cheat ?

    Since the other two couples are communicating about the encounter, I don't think there is any "cheating" involved. In fact, I don't see any problem at all. Enjoy y'all's new experience(s).

    Alura
    "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it."
    óWill Rogers

  6. #6
    Better than Ice Cream two4youinswva's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did we cheat ?

    Some questions for clarification:

    Was this couple playing behind the other couple's back, and without permission?
    How did the third couple find out?
    Are you actually interested in the third couple?
    You can tell how much a woman likes you by her feet. If they're behind her ears, she REALLY likes you.

  7. #7
    Swingers Board Addict fun4Ds's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did we cheat ?

    Quote Originally Posted by bbarnsworth View Post
    Plenty of open ended questions that can not be answered without actually asking both of the other couples.
    We are in contact with all 4 at this point. We'll try and share our conversations between Mrsfun and I in this thread. To us, we keep it US always first. And I too, could not guess at their perspectives yet.

    A caring, non-judgmental open conversation is the most likely way forward for the best possible outcome.
    Oh, by all means we can do that We hope some day they read this

  8. #8
    Swingers Board Addict fun4Ds's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did we cheat ?

    Quote Originally Posted by km34 View Post
    Are you positive it wasn't discussed BEFORE the two you played with did anything? I wouldn't feel guilty anyway... You couldn't have prevented your ignorance of the situation. If anyone is guilty, it would be the two you played with who are committed to others that weren't present. And that is assuming that swinging was a boundary in the relationship. A lot of poly people also swing and that is something they work out with their partners, not necessarily their playmates.
    Sage advice indeed ! This resonates with me personally. Thank you

  9. #9
    Swingers Board Addict fun4Ds's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did we cheat ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dont.Stop View Post
    Poly and swinging are not mutually exclusive endeavours. Heck, maybe they're trying to bring you into the fold. If they made a recommendation, I doubt any lines were crossed.

    Who knows, in 3 months you may be posting about your new poly life.
    We don't want in a fold. But would want the next play to include Everyone, together. If anything we'll post about swingers who met the polly's one night

  10. #10
    Swingers Board Addict fun4Ds's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did we cheat ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Alura View Post
    Since the other two couples are communicating about the encounter, I don't think there is any "cheating" involved. In fact, I don't see any problem at all. Enjoy y'all's new experience(s).

    Alura
    Thanks, Al. At this point, Mrsfuns leaning with "lets just go with the flow" Your definitly on her page

    I should add she will be the safeguard, I believe, to STOP any play or future connections should drama arise. I trust her with that ~

  11. #11
    Swingers Board Addict fun4Ds's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did we cheat ?

    Quote Originally Posted by two4youinswva View Post
    Was this couple playing behind the other couple's back, and without permission?
    No, we do know "they" discussed stepping out of their boundaries, but not with us per se as we know ? Maybe later well find out they did stalk us as swingers, but we Like that !

    I initially met the woman sitting on a bench having lunch. She just came up sat down and started a conversation. It was just a casual conversation that went well. She was at the university I work at visiting a nephew. From there I offered a dinner with her and her husband that evening with the 4 of us. We all met and, the sparks flew. They asked if we were swingers from the get go and we said yes.

    How did the third couple find out?
    They told them obviously pretty quick, but told us they told them, a few days later. So, we called them. We felt we should as swingers.


    Are you actually interested in the third couple?
    HELL YES ! you know us, two or three is always fun, but Damn we like the group PARTY !!!

    At this point, all sounds fun but we do know things dont always work out as we hope.

    Any cautions from swingers in this situation, or Polly folks in this situation, is the reason Mrsfun and I agreed to post this thread.

    Thanks for offering discussion with us everyone.

    Mr& MRSfun

  12. #12
    A Little Of Everything ALilOEverything's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did we cheat ?

    I have two experiences of playing with couples in poly relationships. While neither became dramatic, they certainly created a level of tension because someone had an issue. Without going into a lot of detail, I compare it to playing with couples who haven't been in their relationships long enough to establish a good foundation. Their individual marriages were fine, the relationship with the other couple wasn't long enough to establish security and communication and prevent jealousy. We avoid those situations now.
    ~Lilo

  13. #13
    Just a hick Okie Alura's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did we cheat ?

    Quote Originally Posted by fun4Ds View Post
    Thanks, Al. At this point, Mrsfuns leaning with "lets just go with the flow" Your definitly on her page
    That sounds like a "fun" page to be on. Thanks!

    Alura
    "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it."
    óWill Rogers

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