Polyamory in an obituary?

**SW_PA_Couple** · 05-30-2009, 07:25 AM

Am I reading too much into this obituary?

Post-Gazette NOW

Wife of [Mr. X] and loving companion of [Mr. Y].

rpu3 · 05-30-2009, 07:37 AM

Interesting and quite cool if that really is the deal.

The only other explanation I can think of is Jackie Onassis' situation. Her longtime companion was married to someone else and chose not to divorce for religious reasons (I think - and I'm drawing a blank of many other famous/semi-famous people in the same arrangement).

**fun4Ds** · 05-30-2009, 09:15 AM

Could be, sure looks that way. Although there could be a corrections listed by the news paper soon.

CXXC · 05-30-2009, 11:16 AM

Could be that she and hubby were not yet but on the way to become divorced and she had a boyfriend, Mr. Smith.

swvacouplelookn · 05-30-2009, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CXXC

Could be that she and hubby were not yet but on the way to become divorced and she had a boyfriend, Mr. Smith.

Most of the obituaries I've seen of people with estranged spouses don't mention said spouse, for whatever that's worth.

gatorvol64 · 06-06-2009, 10:21 AM

Someone from the family of the deceased has to give the information for the obituary...at least usually. I guess it's possible the woman could have left instructions for this wording. If that were the case, and it were me, I can't see me mentioning both in a way that conveyed them both being an integral part of my life at the same time if that were not true.

Pretty cool either way.

Vol

WesternSwing · 06-07-2009, 09:31 AM

It's an incomplete obit, it starts with "suddenly" and doesn't say what happened suddenly (we assume death since it is an obituary), however from the read of it and her daughter's flower child name, she was a polyamorist. If that is the case, I think that is the coolest obit ever.

The Fuse · 06-07-2009, 09:54 AM

Not to rain on the poly parade (we have a poly history too), but it is possible that the husband is in a nursing or convalescent home. Sometimes if a spouse is in long-term care and especially if they are not coherent, the other spouse will have a companion but not divorce their sick husband or wife.

Whatever the case, it is wonderful to have a non-spousal companion be recognized as family. It just says, "This is the way it was".

PB&J · 06-07-2009, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

It's an incomplete obit, it starts with "suddenly" and doesn't say what happened suddenly (we assume death since it is an obituary)

I have often seen that in an obit. It's not incomplete. As opposed to "after a long illness." or some such phrase. For some reason, in a death notice, many people are reluctant to actually state the person died.

WesternSwing · 06-07-2009, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PB&J

I have often seen that in an obit. It's not incomplete. As opposed to "after a long illness." or some such phrase. For some reason, in a death notice, many people are reluctant to actually state the person died.

The sentence just isn't finished, like "Suddenly so-and-so left us." OCD kicks in and it leaves me screaming "SUDDENLY WHAT?! WHAT?!"

gatorvol64 · 06-08-2009, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Fuse

Whatever the case, it is wonderful to have a non-spousal companion be recognized as family. It just says, "This is the way it was".

You said it best. No matter what the circumstances were, the recognition is very cool.

Quote:

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

The sentence just isn't finished, like "Suddenly so-and-so left us." OCD kicks in and it leaves me screaming "SUDDENLY WHAT?! WHAT?!"

My thoughts as well.

Vol

2aussies · 06-09-2009, 03:06 AM

I saw an obituary about 5 years ago that had me wondering. I knew the bloke, because he was a tradesman who did some work for us. Anyway, his obituary (and I've changed the names) said: "Fred, beloved husband of Cindy and "special friend" of Linda." Now what other interpretation do you put on that?

SexyRedmondCpl · 06-10-2009, 01:23 AM

The part that confuses me is that she was Paul Mirabelli's wife AND mother... only in Allentown!

RW1F · 06-10-2009, 04:33 AM

I'm guessing this was a misprint or poorly worded. I think her husband "Paul" died at some point and Billy was now her new partner since he died.

**LFM2** · 06-10-2009, 08:37 AM

That is the shortest obit I've ever read. However, I'm with WS. It's incomplete. The sentence doesn't really make sense! AGH!! That's enough to drive me nuts.

But the part of "loving companion of Billy Smith". is quite cool. I don't think her husband is dead though. I believe that would have been in the "preceded by" part. What's really sad is that she was young.

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05-30-2009, 07:25 AM	#1 (permalink)
SW_PA_Couple Julie's Helper Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 4,679 Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania Status: a very married man Swing Lifestyle Name:SW_PA_Couple	Polyamory in an obituary? Am I reading too much into this obituary? Post-Gazette NOW Wife of [Mr. X] and loving companion of [Mr. Y].

05-30-2009, 07:37 AM	#2 (permalink)
rpu3 Doing it our way... Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 3,273 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female Swing Lifestyle Name:rpu3	Re: Polyamory in an obituary? Interesting and quite cool if that really is the deal. The only other explanation I can think of is Jackie Onassis' situation. Her longtime companion was married to someone else and chose not to divorce for religious reasons (I think - and I'm drawing a blank of many other famous/semi-famous people in the same arrangement).
	__________________ I'll give up my bad habits as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available. A. Brilliant

05-30-2009, 09:15 AM	#3 (permalink)
fun4Ds Julie's Helper Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,487 Location: Behind door #2 Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:mrmrsfun	Re: Polyamory in an obituary? Could be, sure looks that way. Although there could be a corrections listed by the news paper soon.

05-30-2009, 11:16 AM	#4 (permalink)
CXXC Veni, Vidi, Veni!!!! Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 952 Location: Savannah GA Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:cxxc1963	Re: Polyamory in an obituary? Could be that she and hubby were not yet but on the way to become divorced and she had a boyfriend, Mr. Smith.
	__________________ Veni, Vidi, Veni!!!

06-06-2009, 10:21 AM	#6 (permalink)
gatorvol64 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 1,426 Location: Florida Status: Married Couple	Re: Polyamory in an obituary? Someone from the family of the deceased has to give the information for the obituary...at least usually. I guess it's possible the woman could have left instructions for this wording. If that were the case, and it were me, I can't see me mentioning both in a way that conveyed them both being an integral part of my life at the same time if that were not true. Pretty cool either way. Vol
	__________________ He is the Gator and she is the Vol.

06-07-2009, 09:31 AM	#7 (permalink)
WesternSwing South of disorder Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 2,973 Location: Utah Status: Single Male	Re: Polyamory in an obituary? It's an incomplete obit, it starts with "suddenly" and doesn't say what happened suddenly (we assume death since it is an obituary), however from the read of it and her daughter's flower child name, she was a polyamorist. If that is the case, I think that is the coolest obit ever.
	__________________ "Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are." ~ Anna Freud

06-07-2009, 09:54 AM	#8 (permalink)
The Fuse Way too opinionated Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 1,826 Location: Southeastern Virginia Status: Single Female Swing Lifestyle Name:The_Fuse	Re: Polyamory in an obituary? Not to rain on the poly parade (we have a poly history too), but it is possible that the husband is in a nursing or convalescent home. Sometimes if a spouse is in long-term care and especially if they are not coherent, the other spouse will have a companion but not divorce their sick husband or wife. Whatever the case, it is wonderful to have a non-spousal companion be recognized as family. It just says, "This is the way it was".
	__________________ Through every dead and living thing, Time runs, like a fuse. -- Jackson Browne

06-09-2009, 03:06 AM	#12 (permalink)
2aussies Here to Stay Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 28 Location: Queensland, Australia Status: Couple	Re: Polyamory in an obituary? I saw an obituary about 5 years ago that had me wondering. I knew the bloke, because he was a tradesman who did some work for us. Anyway, his obituary (and I've changed the names) said: "Fred, beloved husband of Cindy and "special friend" of Linda." Now what other interpretation do you put on that?

06-10-2009, 01:23 AM	#13 (permalink)
SexyRedmondCpl Here to Stay Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 93 Location: MA Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:MuseAndHerArtist	Re: Polyamory in an obituary? The part that confuses me is that she was Paul Mirabelli's wife AND mother... only in Allentown!

06-10-2009, 04:33 AM	#14 (permalink)
RW1F Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 100 Location: Southwest Status: Couple	Re: Polyamory in an obituary? I'm guessing this was a misprint or poorly worded. I think her husband "Paul" died at some point and Billy was now her new partner since he died.
	__________________ Shall we?

06-10-2009, 08:37 AM	#15 (permalink)
LFM2 ~This space for rent~ Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 4,750 Location: across the tracks Status: Couple	Re: Polyamory in an obituary? That is the shortest obit I've ever read. However, I'm with WS. It's incomplete. The sentence doesn't really make sense! AGH!! That's enough to drive me nuts. But the part of "loving companion of Billy Smith". is quite cool. I don't think her husband is dead though. I believe that would have been in the "preceded by" part. What's really sad is that she was young.
	__________________ Dave & Holly

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