Making babies in poly families.

nice_cpl_n_bama · 06-05-2007, 10:04 PM

Hello all,
Have any of you ever heard of people forming a poly family to have children? If so, did it work out?
Laurie and I love children but we were never able to have any due to her endless female troubles. She had to have a hysterectomy last year so its "game over" on babies of our own.
We are toying with the idea of finding a fertile female to join our family, bring any children she has, and make a few more. We will have no trouble providing physical and emotional support for children and another partner.
Is this an unusual desire within the poly community? Has this been tried succesfully, or has it been proven to be a bad idea?
Thanks,
Jeff and Laurie

StacyCat · 06-06-2007, 05:43 PM

Its proven to be a very bad idea.

Picture it from the other side. You want someone else to come in, give birth to your child, and raise it. You want an unpaid nanny. :-) this will attract either single mothers that do not want to work, or someone probably unstable that will take your child and run with it (and probably win custody, due to the situation).

Searching for a third while a couple is hard enough. Searching for someone that wants to bear your children? 100 times harder. Asking someone to come into a 20 year marriage, and they will always feel like the third wheel.

(All of this my opinion, and of course there are exceptions. But, they are very very very hard to find, and I cannot think of any off the top of my head in the poly/swinging community. Better luck with mormons :-)

avid · 06-08-2007, 08:26 PM

I wouldn't rule it out. Of course, the LOVE has to be there first, then children can follow. I know of some blended families like that.

If you just want someone to bear your children, get a surrogate or adopt.

You might find more info here:

http://www.polyamoryonline.org/

Kilauea · 07-02-2007, 03:34 AM

I would think that using this as a tool to solve your want for children problem is wrong. Having kids with someone in a poly relationship is one matter, but bringing someone in for the sole purpose of having kids seems like you are using them to me. If you find someone and love them, though, I don't see why it would be a big deal.

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06-05-2007, 10:04 PM	#1 (permalink)
nice_cpl_n_bama Where's the party! Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 198 Location: Huntsville, AL Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:nice_cpl_n_bama	Making babies in poly families. Hello all, Have any of you ever heard of people forming a poly family to have children? If so, did it work out? Laurie and I love children but we were never able to have any due to her endless female troubles. She had to have a hysterectomy last year so its "game over" on babies of our own. We are toying with the idea of finding a fertile female to join our family, bring any children she has, and make a few more. We will have no trouble providing physical and emotional support for children and another partner. Is this an unusual desire within the poly community? Has this been tried succesfully, or has it been proven to be a bad idea? Thanks, Jeff and Laurie
	__________________ FATAL ERROR: WITTY LINE NOT FOUND (A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail

06-06-2007, 05:43 PM	#2 (permalink)
StacyCat Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 114 Location: Texas Status: Single Bi Female	Re: Making babies in poly families. Its proven to be a very bad idea. Picture it from the other side. You want someone else to come in, give birth to your child, and raise it. You want an unpaid nanny. :-) this will attract either single mothers that do not want to work, or someone probably unstable that will take your child and run with it (and probably win custody, due to the situation). Searching for a third while a couple is hard enough. Searching for someone that wants to bear your children? 100 times harder. Asking someone to come into a 20 year marriage, and they will always feel like the third wheel. (All of this my opinion, and of course there are exceptions. But, they are very very very hard to find, and I cannot think of any off the top of my head in the poly/swinging community. Better luck with mormons :-)

06-08-2007, 08:26 PM	#3 (permalink)
avid Open to the Universe Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 307 Location: Oshawa, ON Status: Female part of MFM triad	Re: Making babies in poly families. I wouldn't rule it out. Of course, the LOVE has to be there first, then children can follow. I know of some blended families like that. If you just want someone to bear your children, get a surrogate or adopt. You might find more info here: http://www.polyamoryonline.org/

07-02-2007, 03:34 AM	#4 (permalink)
Kilauea Registered Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 4 Location: Indiana Status: Couple	Re: Making babies in poly families. I would think that using this as a tool to solve your want for children problem is wrong. Having kids with someone in a poly relationship is one matter, but bringing someone in for the sole purpose of having kids seems like you are using them to me. If you find someone and love them, though, I don't see why it would be a big deal.

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