Light-Polyfidelity-Swinging???

[TheDeal]

I was wondering; given most swingers do not delve to much into the poly world due to the emotional attachments, is there any couples that might be interested in a light polyfidelity relationship? What I mean by light-polyfidelity-swinging, is where two or more couples agree to be sexual with only those in the group. The ideal group would consist of 5 to 8 couples. There would be no expectation of love, only friendship. The goal would be to provide a safe, comfortable environment where all persons could be completely open and free to live out their fantasies. That would be the other goal, is for each person in the group to be able to have any fantasy brought into reality. I know ours our elaborate with lots of role play. WE could only imagine trusting very close friends in order to have these. Another reason for this type of group would be for new swingers that have not had an experience. You could slowly get to a level where you could lift your boundaries and feel comfortable. After you have over come your fears and gained some experience, you could then go about a normal swinger existence.

OK, so is this idea crazy???

[Chicup]

We wanted to set something up like that.

With multiple couples and different personalities, such situations are going to be hard to find. We tried, we gave up.

[intuition897]

Nope, you're not crazy. It's almost exactly the kind of arrangement we would want ourselves. Enough people that there's lots of excitement and variety, but it's a smallish group that enjoys taking the time to form real lasting friendships.

[blondie77]

The situation you described would be great...but it's so hard to find four people that mesh...I can't imagine trying to find five other couples! It would be nice not to have to worry about meeting new people, the first time jitters...and the level of trust..wow. Has anyone been successful in setting up a little group like this? And if so, how easy/hard was it?

[TheDeal]

This would be my ideal setup for experiencing the lifestyle thing. The funny part is, it's really almost natural when you think about it from the vanilla or single prospective. When my wife and I had our first experience, it was this couple that we had been chatting with for some time. The weekend after the first play session, the other couple was supposed to attend a swinger party, and my wife and I were like, hmmm ewww. It's not like we were emotionally possessive or anything. We just didn't like the idea of them being with who knows, then being with us the next weekend. You start thinking about STDs and who the other couple(s) they were gonna be with were with before them. My wife and I got into this for fantasy fulfillment, not variety, so a situation that would allow all to feel comfortable to have fun sounds good. The reason we thought multiple couples is due to the schedules of everyone. You might be able to get everyone together once every six months or so, but with so many there should always be at least two couples free at any given time. Or at least you increase the chances!

[TheSwingerSet]

Originally Posted by Chicup

We wanted to set something up like that.

With multiple couples and different personalities, such situations are going to be hard to find. We tried, we gave up.

While we have never intensionly tried to set this up we have had it happen a few times but never for long, the reason being that in any group you have issues that pop up, divorce, moving, children etc... and any one of these can either break the group apart or cause it to move in a different direction. The last time we had a situation like this it was 2 of the couples having children the babies took 2 of 5 couples out of the mix for an extended time and the sex just stopped we still get together for family gatherings but we just don't have time for more.

If you really want to find this kind of group the way we have had it happen is by going to the club parties, you will find at any club there are different groups formed naturaly and this is exactly how it happened for us. This loose group of friends tend to get together away from the club and things will take there course. While we have never intentionaly formed a group, by asking the people that we have a connection with to dinner or out for the night it just happens.

K

[havefuninsun]

We'd love this too. Let us know if you figger it out ...

[TheDeal]

Thanks for all the replies! So far I have seen two basic categories in the LS, one is for variety, and the other is for friendships and fantasy. In the friendship crowed, I wonder how many people would actually find something like this acceptable. Would this even be called anything poly? It's seems on other boards, even uttering the word poly will get you a dead thread in a sec. However, the more people I meet that are looking for close friends with benefits, the more I think this setup would be the way to go. hmmmm. ok, that's it for now! thanks!

[JacobSky]

I like this arrangement also.

[aaaflirt]

Would this even be called anything poly? It's seems on other boards, even uttering the word poly will get you a dead thread in a sec.

are there other boards? arrg the disgrace of it all I thought i was a member of a closed personal comunity


:surrender sorry just couldnt help myself.
sounds like a great idea im not sure you could call it polly
we have experienced somthing close but it was not so closed and jealousy crept into the pot. Some didnt play out side of the group while others said they werent but were. We didnt even realise we had made any such comitment. Once again open honesty wins best.
It all eventualy lost momentum and the whole group, bar two of the couples, went diferent ways.
I believe the only couples that actualy stayed together did actualy live together in the same house.

I have a five bedroom house if theres 4 other couples interested in giving it a go
would be an interesting experiment.

[havefuninsun]

I don't think it would be "poly" but more of a trust thing. I think of poly relationships as those who are in love with each other. I'd like to be friends with who we play with, but I certainly don't want to be in love with anyone else and have all that to deal with. I'm VERY happy being VERY emotionally committed to one person.

The "circle of friends" to me would provide a safe group to play with, a level of respect from all participating members, the ability to do threesomes with members of the couples because of the trust factor, and frankly, give us time back from meeting new folks. Don't get me wrong -- I enjoy it. But it's very TIME consuming to update profiles, send emails, and spend hours chatting with folks to determine compatibility.

[JTcamp05]

Sounds like this idea is very popular, I think we as a couple would be more comfortable with this than any club/group setting. Is natural to some feelings towards people that sleep together, nothing wrong with this.

[TheDeal]

Wow, thank you everyone for the responses! You don't know how much it means to have others feel as you. Now, if ya'll all lived in or around Houston, Texas...

[imapolygirl]

Poly people often draft and commit to a written agreement called a condom compact, where everyone who is in the group gets tested for STDs, then tested against after six months. If all is clear, then they are no longer required to use condoms when being sexual with others in the group. These agreements can be very specific as to what is OK to do outside the group and what isn't OK. Naturally, there are no guarantees, and everyone involved must pledge quite seriously to honor the agreement, but this system seems to work and work well for polys who are in intimate networks. There's no substitute for getting to know your potential partners well and getting a sense of their personal integrity before having unprotected sex with them.

[GerdOEvert]

That is what we came up with after trying clubs in a large metro area.

Three to six couples, with a new one added and one dropoing out now and then because of life changes, moves, etc.

We want to avoid condoms, know each other's health history, trust each other, etc.

Meet every two months for fun and adventure.


Otto