Polyamourous Relationships

[Ashley]

Lori,
I'm in what is called a V. That means I have a relationship with two people(in this case both men)but they don't have a relationship with each other. They both know about each other though, everything is out in the open, no cheating. The reason I tried swinging is because my new lover has been in the lifestyle for a few years and frankly, I was curious. I still consider myself more poly than a swinger but both have their pluses and minuses and what they share is a sex positive philosophy. Swinging is less threatening I think because of the lack of emotional committment to the other people you have sex with.

[JamesTKirk]

I had half the day off yesterday and flipped on the tube. It so happened that Montel was covering swinging, polyamory, bigamy etc on his show yesterday. I don't know if any of you all saw that. Anyway, the polyamory triad/triumvirate/whatever involved a female who lived with her boyfriend but spent a week every 6 weeks with another man 1,000 miles away. She met the "other man" while filming a documentary on, of all things, polyamory with her live-in boyfriend.

I had heard the term but didn't know that the heck polyamory was until that show. To me, it seems to involve emotional commitment vs. swinging in general (okay that's just my definition), but that's how I understand it. It's not my thing, but I respect those to whom it appeals. Swinging to my wife and I is about fantasy fulfillment in the context of enhancing our relationship with each other. I cannot relate to having an emotional relationship with another woman besides my wife, so polyamory isn't for me. To each his/her own though

[Uneed_Love]

This is a copy and past made from the very interesting website (www.lovemore.com) about polyamory.

"Polyamory (many loves) is a relatively new word created for relationships where an adult intimately loves more than one other adult. This includes forms like open couples, group marriage, intimate networks, triads and even people who currently have one or no partners, yet are open to the possibility of more. It is another word for nonmonogamy.

People who describe themselves as polyamorous (or poly) also usually embrace the value of honesty in relationships. They do not want to have affairs or cheat on a loved one and are dedicated to growing beyond jealousy and possession in relationships. It is usual for them to make safer sex agreements and be committed to full communication.

Loving More® has a specific vision of relationships based on honesty, openness, respect for the individual, love as an infinite resource, the body and sexuality as sacred, and relationship as a path to personal & spiritual growth. In this vision, there's room for more love, more intimacy, more possibilities, and more people.

Accordingly, there is also more responsibility and challenge: a deeply personal challenge to transform ourselves, our lives, and our world into a more loving and responsible place."

Another interesting website about polyamory can be found at www.polyamorysociety.org

I hope this will help.

Take Care

Jean-Claude

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by JamesTKirk
It's not my thing, but I respect those to whom it appeals. Swinging to my wife and I is about fantasy fulfillment in the context of enhancing our relationship with each other. I cannot relate to having an emotional relationship with another woman besides my wife, so polyamory isn't for me. To each his/her own though

We are right there with ya. It isn't for us either.

Lori

[Ashley]

I hope no one will think I'm being contentious here. To me the difference between polyamory and swinging is swinging trivializes sex. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, just that loving sex is better, much better. When my bf and I have sex with strangers we're really treating the other people as objects since we don't really know them well enough to have deep feelings for them. Granted they are consenting objects and I'm sure they feel the same about us. Just a datapoint.

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by Ashley
I hope no one will think I'm being contentious here. To me the difference between polyamory and swinging is swinging trivializes sex. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, just that loving sex is better, much better. When my bf and I have sex with strangers we're really treating the other people as objects since we don't really know them well enough to have deep feelings for them. Granted they are consenting objects and I'm sure they feel the same about us. Just a datapoint.

I am not sure that I would say that swinging sex is trivial, but I do know that it is much different than what I share with my husband. I do understand what you are saying though. I personally would have a hard time have the same type of loving sex that I have with my husband with another couple. One loving relationship of that sort keeps me pretty active. Kudo's though to those that can manage it, I just couldn't.

Lori