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Polyamory & Swinging We realize that polyamory and swinging are two very different things, however they do often overlap. This forum is for the discussion of those overlaps between polyamory & swinging.

Are you Single?

This is a discussion on Are you Single? within the Polyamory & Swinging forums, part of the Swingers Topics category; How do you answer when someone asks if you are single??? My boyfriend and I were discussing what you should ...

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Old 09-17-2006, 11:48 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Question Are you Single?

How do you answer when someone asks if you are single???
My boyfriend and I were discussing what you should say when asked if you have a SO or if you are single. We aren't comfortable just shouting out that we're poly (which we aren't yet). We don't want to close off opportunities by saying we're involved in a long-term relationship, but we also don't want to flat out lie and say that we're single.

So, how do you answer these questions?

~SS
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Old 09-17-2006, 03:12 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Are you Single?

I tend to tell the truth -- I'm married, and happily so. No matter how they answer, their reaction to this always tells me something important about them: Are they the type of person who honors their commitments, and/or the commitments of others?

An important piece of information to know...

Any details can come after that, if everyone negotiates those opening hurdles successfully.
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Old 09-17-2006, 08:22 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Are you Single?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Yes
I tend to tell the truth -- I'm married, and happily so. No matter how they answer, their reaction to this always tells me something important about them: Are they the type of person who honors their commitments, and/or the commitments of others?

An important piece of information to know...

Any details can come after that, if everyone negotiates those opening hurdles successfully.
I agree, we say we're married, even when we didn't signed up the papers... but's it's what we feel after living tgheter for more than 15 years and having a strong commitment. By saying "we're married" we simplify this explanation while making a statement about the strenght of our bond and commitments.
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Old 09-17-2006, 08:39 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Are you Single?

I get this quiet frequently and even thought this is a triad I'm in, I tell people it's marriage between the three of us :slam". I'm committed to them and our relationship no differently then if it was a typical relationship.

But for me I will alway continue to get people thinking I am just a "single" woman in the lifestyle................... oh well.

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Old 09-18-2006, 02:02 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Are you Single?

I consider myself single when I dont have a "primary" type relationship. If someone asks if I am single, I tell them that I am in an open relationship. Depending on their responses, we can discuss further from there.
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Old 09-18-2006, 09:33 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Are you Single?

Thanks for all the replies. I guess honestly is the best policy.

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Old 09-19-2006, 05:28 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Are you Single?

Honesty saves those nasty conversations of explanation later when they find out things are a bit more complex than you originally let on.

You can simply say " I have a significant other."
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